HIV Anxiety Support Community
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1122973 tn?1269732128

Rock bottom.

I've been on here before...I've done well to stay off for a couple weeks and try to be around friends which has done me some good. However this time, I am dealing with a whole new set of HIV anxiety related qualms. Two weeks ago, I did something I feel may have conflicted with my sero-negative status and I am scared and depressed beyond belief. I had protected sex with my ex boyfriend, he did not ejaculate from the sex. We later had a lot of frottage, dry humping in which he unexpectedly dipped into me without a condom. It was EXTREMELY brief, literally seconds however I'm afraid because he recently shared with me some details about his sexual experiences while we were broken up that I'm not fond of: particularly him having sex with a 28-year-old woman who was a stripper at nights, had two kids, and several men's names tattooed on her. He told me they used a condom...but I know him not to like to use them, and he told me he had sex with her "a couple times." He said I have nothing to worry about since him and I had protected sex, which would be true had it not been for that momentary dip! I'm afraid. He told me he was tested in the past, before her. But that isn't good enough for me. I asked him to get tested and he became offended, I guess at how paranoid I was saying and how I went about asking. We haven't spoken since, he ignores my messages and calls and it's very frightening as if he's hiding something. I don/t know what to do. I'm so afraid, yesterday made two weeks since the incident. I'm starting to feel hot at night, and my tounge has been giving me weird sensations. I must also add we are both african americans living in Newark, New Jersey...which is a big urban city. My ex is 22 years old. doesn't do drugs, never been locked up. He smokes a lot...and I know he is a big lover of women...hence my worries. I feel like I've really done it this time, especially with him ignoring me like the plague ever since. Like I said it was a QUICK dip....what are the odds of me remaining negative?
4 Responses
1122973 tn?1269732128
Update: I tested today at 15 days post this 2 second dip negative....considering the low risk.. level, man joggen....lizz...should i worry?? Or move on wit life and stop thinking everytime i have sex ill get hiv ...especially when i used a condom..it was just that brief second or so where he dipped and pulled right out

Level wit me guys
Avatar universal
The risk is so low it might as well be zero. Feel free to test again at 3 months, but expect a negative.

I still think that you should strongly consider professional counseling. This is no way you should be living your life- freaking out over every little non-event(!)
1122973 tn?1269732128
Ok Joggen...last thing.

The test I had done on Monday I took in a emergency  room at one of my city's well....lesser hospitals. An older, sickly guy named Nelson conducted it and was kinda...not very proffesional to say the least. he was grumpy and cursing under his breath about how slow the nurse was in getting him placement to do the tests. I wasnt asked for id in the beginning...and he had all the test tools (the needlestick , lancet , and test wit the solution) all in seperate ziplock bags that  were just thrown in his messanger bag.

we did the test: he cleaned my finger, took the thing off the ***** instrument and stuk my finger. Then took the lancrt and got the blood for the test.

durin the wait on results, he was telling me about how ppl often judge him because hes big and from the streets. He told me he did a lot of things in life he regrets and is payed for "the hard way" he said his mom didnt think hed live past thirty. I was confused by this...it was almost as if he was telling me he was infected, as he proceeded to say "this disease aint no joke"

after my neg., he asked for my i.d, i had to sign more papers and he made me write my cell, and adresss. I didnt get why since it was negative. He went to make copies of my result but in my hurry to leave, i must've left it. He said come back in 4 months...youre so pretty I wish I was 20 girl! Which even tho he was giggling, i found unprofessional.

So the point. Is there anyway he could be reusing the fingerstick needle? Or that they could be infectious? I heard initamite objects like needles could be in hospital settings. just felt very uncomfortable during the whole proceddure, and that he took my address at the end was odd to me.
Avatar universal
Nobody has ever been infected with HIV from having an HIV test. It can't happen. In modern America, even 'unprofessional' health care workers do not reuse lancets- if they did they would quickly be fired. And people who get infected in health care settings are exposed to contaminated hollow needles, not lancets.

You have a health phobia. You need to face it, take responsibility, and get the proper care (i.e. counseling) that you need to treat it. I am concerned that you are using MH as a substitute for getting this care. Therefore, I can't permit you to keep returning to this forum with every new concern that your phobia generates. Please do not post in this forum unless you wish to report the outcome of an initial session with a mental health professional. If you return with another no-risk concern I will have to delete the post.

Regarding 'Nelson", even though he was unprofessional, my first impression is that taking your address and phone number is not particularly unusual when receiving health care services. The only health care situation that I am aware of in which they wouldn't take such information is an anonymous testing clinic. But you can call the ER department administrator and confirm that this is their standard procedure if you are concerned about it.
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