i deleted your post...you need professional mental help...not a forum ! ! ! ! !
okay.....but half of everybody on here is going through the same damn anxiety that i am going through and you didn't delete theirs.....sometimes reassurance for me is helpful...which is why i write the journals and i posted a message on this forum.... i got to therapy and not just for this hiv anxiety crap but it's not like i go everyday!!!
I apologizes lizzie...i guess your trying to help me more than hurt me...and i understand that...i really do...but you mind as well erase quite a few people's post because they have done the same things as i have as far as worrying and posting...
i think if you will compare the NUMBER of posts/journals that you have against theirs...you will see a huge difference.
we have all talked til we are blue in the face...NONE of which has made a difference. you are totally out of touch with reality and need much more than this forum...the hiv forum...the anxiety forum...and all of medhelp combined.
Hmmm no! i really dont see it that way....there is someone on here and i will not say their name because i dont want to drag them into this but i have read their little journals and their posts on both this forum and hiv...and they are panicking just as much as me if not more.....they even have gotten tested more than me....i will accept the fact that you say that i need therapy for my fear......but I will not accept you telling me that i am "OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY" having a fear of HIV is very very real....being fearful that i may have contracted it through HIV is also real...it may not be risky but the fear is logical....So in saying that I dont think that I am TOTALLY out of touch with reality...maybe there is no way that i could have contracted HIV through this and maybe the what ifs that come to my mind take over ....i can accept that and understand where you might think that i have no sense of reality...but i have plenty sense and i understand everything that i have been told from you guys on this forum...but I AM SCARED AND I FEEL GUILT FOR WHAT I DID... also I DID NOT ASK TO HAVE BI POLAR DISORDER 2 AND I DID NOT ASK TO HAVE OCD...It's not easy dealing with learning this about yourself... I don't appreciate you insulting me...."Christian" woman don't do that!!!!
and i meant contracting it through ORAL not hiv...
the REALITY of the situation is you were never at risk.
the REALITY of the situation is that you cannot accept the FACTS regarding your NO risk exposure.
the REALITY of the situation is that you need help...professional help...not a forum.
you may be scared and you may feel guilt...but that has NOTHING to do with whether or not you had a risk. deal with the guilt and stop spending so much time trying to prove you have hiv...YOU DONT.
any further comments will be deleted along with your post.
This group's moderators have full discretion in deciding which posts to answer and, after reading your posting history and journals, totally agree with Lizzie here: since you have been diagnosed with OCD and are apparently seeing mental health professionals for that, this group cannot really offering you anything.
You have to understand that nobody on this group is a mental health professional- we cannot provide online therapy for you. The advice of this forum is usually limited to telling people to get tested (you've already done that), and/or seek professional mental health care (you are already doing that). And if you read the opening welcome thread, it clearly states that this group is not a substitute for professional mental health care. It's in your best interest that we don't allow the forum to be used that way. You need to keep working with your psychiatrist and therapist to help you get past your obsession with HIV.
If you need support, I think the best place for you is the OCD forum. Apparently you've already found other members with OCD who share your obsession with HIV- perhaps you can discuss your experiences with them. Otherwise, I suggest you focus your remaining energy on following the advice of your health care providers.