Well your be negative, although as you dont listen to advise i little point posting :)
I am finally getting tested, absolutely ******** myself, blood test tomorrow morning, results friday -- I know you guys have all said no risk however i just can't help thinking i might have been asymptomatic shedding at the time, and this created the 'spark' for infection i keep reading about... i want to vomit and **** myself all at once.
you guys are a great support network, its crazy how powerful the mind is --- as much as i have had everyone say my exposure wasn't a risk i just keep convincing myself it was.. target cell from asymptomatic shedding etc etc.. You have all heard it a million times over but its a really difficult mindset to overcome. cheers guys.
Hey, if there is one thing that I have found is that this site is completely awesome at the information they give.... There is no way the doctors, experts and others like you and I would ever give anything other than the truth .... I get the anxiety, I am sitting here with it right now over a brief oral encounter. And I know that I am fine because I am aware of the modes of transmission.... and I keep going over them in my mind and reminding myself that I did none of them ... It is really quite simple ..... no unprotected vaginal and anal in terms of sexual encounters. We all deserve to be happy but until we all accept the truths we won't be the happiest we can be.
We understand because we've all been in your shoes (numerous times in my own case). It's not an easy form of anxiety to live with, and it's often scary as hell. In the end though it comes down to us simply allowing our imaginations to run wild and our minds getting the best of us. You control your own mind, and not the other way around. Just keep reminding yourself that condoms are 100% effective in protecting you against HIV (and numerous other STD's) and you'll have nothing to worry about. Any doctor or health professional will tell you the exact same thing. Keep practicing safe sex and you'll be just fine ;)
Thank you very much for all your words of support and reassurance, it is very much appreciated. I feel like i am going crazy.
Apollo is not going to steer you wrong on advice. He has helped me as well as the other two people who have posted to you. I know the anxiety makes the facts difficult to believe.... but we just need to believe those that we consult information on regarding this topic ... The anxiety was and still is to an extent making it difficult to use the common sense to accept facts .... but facts are facts and that is that!
The only fact that matters is the fact that you correctly used a CONDOM. The other details (such as lymph nodes) means absolutely nothing in this case. You had protected sex and HIV is not a concern whatsoever for you as condoms provide 100% protection against HIV.
Apollo is correct. Also HIV cannot be contracted by the exposed shaft of your penis it would have to enter your body through the tip.
Its normal to feel your nodes, so thats no a concern.
Your risk, well you really didnt have one for the many reasons that have been explained, but you must understand this. No one has ever got HIV from the manner to which you are concerned about and that includes people with HSV2. Take in mind the billions of sexual acts everyday, and yet its never happened, on what logical basis do you belive yours constitutes a risk this time and before you even think you can answer it, dont because their is not one.
Im guessing this is your first time with a CSW and as such your have gone into over drive with panic. Really you muct trust the facts of HIV transmission and if you do and understand them you will see why you were not at risk.