hi everyone. i've been reading this site for the past hour and understand the only way you can know if you're + is with a test.
however i'm anxious. and i guess part of me wants people to speculate that i didn't have a high risk encounter and that i'll be fine. i want to be fine. i know the truth is the most important thing though, and maybe i'm not fine.
3 weeks ago now, i was coming back from a concert on my own. i was very drunk and grave and lonely, - my bad luck with the opposite sex over the past couple of years has been haunting me recently. on my way to the bus stop a woman appeared out of an alley asking if i 'wanted business'. i thought about it and said yes. i asked about condoms and she said she was wearing a femidom. as i was drunk this seemed ok. i've no experience of them though, and couldn't tell if she was actually wearing one. she masturbated me and then i penetrated her. after about a minute or two of penetration i came to my senses and pulled out. i seemed sober all of a sudden, ran to the nearest shop, bought antibacterial hand lotion and put it on my penis - naively thinking this would have some kind of effect. it stung so much i nearly cried. anyway, while i was penetrating, i realised that this woman showed signs of being a drug addict - her job, where she was doing it (outside behind some shops), her rates, her bodyweight. she tried to sell me fountain pens as i ran away from her.
btw i empathise with her, it's terrible that anyone is in her position.
as far as potential symptoms go - they started about 48 hours after the encounter, and have come and gone ever since but have not been severe. on and off i have had a temperature - although not severe. i have needed more sleep than usual. including taking long naps during the day. my leg muscles have ached. i've had a cough and a slightly sore throat. my hands and sometimes forearms are numb upon waking up. i have shortness of breath. despite all this i can still go to the gym and do my normal weightlifting routine - almost but not quite with the intensity i can normally do it with. i also sweat more while doing it and need more time to catch my breath.
a few days ago i thought the symptoms had gone, but they come back, as i say.
oh and as far as seeking medical attention goes. i went to the Accident and Emergency dept of my local hospital 2 days after the encounter. they told me to get an appointment at a sexual health clinic. i got an appointment at a clinic 3 days later, had a chlamydia test which came back negative. and the nurses there said i should go back 6 wks after the encounter for the hiv test. i haven't spoken to anyone about this encounter since then, which was 16 days ago now.
any advice or comments are extremely welcome.