pls help really anxious.....help...i need it..

[josh67]

i had sex with a csw about 6 months ago(that was my 1st time)......i used her condom which is provided by the govt
from then the fear of hiv is killing me.....i am not able to celebrate new year and also not able to study..
also i would like to tell u that....iwas anxious about hiv before that csw incident also.......from a incident when i was 12,,,,,i did not mean that i was worried about hiv when i was 12,,,,i had this anxietyfrom over 1 year... (now i am 18......)but after the csw incident it just took over mwe comletely.

it started like this

me and my two frndswent to a brotherl on 21 june 2011
we all had sex with seperate csw
i was the last one to go,,,,,,,,,then from next day i started thinking about things like.....maybe they both had sex with csw with their own condom...although before going i asked  him that if he had condom he sad no and said thatwe can buy it from a chemist shop in our way to brotherl........but we did not....
but the next day i started thnking that maybe they both had their own condoms....and did not want to tell me.....

then i called one of my frnd and conversation wwas lik this

me: hey man ..whats doing?????
frnd: nothing so whats up?
me: i was just thinking ,,,tthat is there any risk of hiv from last day incident.......
frnd: naaaa..   no there is not......
me:  but how dude we used theres  condom and i think that was  low quality condom....ryt
frnd: dont worryyy  they are more protective than us they dont want to get anything from us hence more concenrned they are...
me: i think so......well i had  a dream last nyt that u and jim( my other frnd) had a condom and forget to give me .one... i know thats funny....hahahha
frnd:  oh yeah ohh yeah now i remebered yeah u r ryt.......we had one.......and yes we forget to give u one......
me: if this is a joke pld then dont joke..i really serious and this is driving me crazy.....
frnd.: no man we had one u can also ask jim toooooo



so this was the conversation
so wat do u thimk ....was he jokin and jusy taking advantage of situation..........

after then about 4 hrs ago i alo called jim and he sad that he did not have one and nor  did  ricky(the one on phonbe)    and he laso sad that he also called him and said that he said to him that i has scared josh......

pls help.....................this was wat happpend within1  week of csw incident...then  it starts getting worst

after about 2 months after that csw  incident......i started having thoughts that ricky (my frnd) may had make  hole in my condom...a very tiny one in pouch of the condom i imazined a whole  new thing for it.......i thought may be he gave the condom to the csw  who went with  me  which has a hole in it..........i reallly get more anxious that time..................
actually the basis on which i thought it was that...................


nearly before 1 month going to the csw i was going to rickys house just to hang out and i was also anxious taht time about hiv....becoz of the incident when i was 12.....now i know that it was not risky as i have mentioned above........so i asked him wheather he has ****** a girl or not he said yes i have ****** csw 6 time.....at a brother (the same in which we went later after 1 month)        i told him to not to there again becoz he coul get huiv i told him that..........but he said it is totally safe as he used condom each time.......as i did not knew about condoms much at that tme so i tell him that if a condome has a very tiny hole then how will u know.....it has as u cannot see it and will catch hiv............
he said its all ********.........and told me that he also get blood tested in his boarding skul nad it was all normal......then i satrt persusding him that may that blood test may not have hiv test including in it.........then we start talking about other thinghs ......in his way to home we stopped in mcdonald to get burger while we gave order and wait for their arrival he looked in very tension and looks like he was thikng about somethinh..........
then we went to his house and played ps3 and eat burgers he looked very normal................
at that time i didnt payed attention to all these thinghs ....but when i remembered then after 2 months of that csw attention ireally got worried becoz he was the one who took us there ,i lso persuaded him to take us ..........so maybe he was also anxious about hiv....afetr i told him about ....before a month going there as i mentioned above.....so he may have buyed a condom from a chemiststore before going to brotherel..as our trip to there was preplanned 2 days before.................and may have give that condom whaich has  tiny hole in it....to csw..when i was talking to jim(the other frnd who went with me)..........        i started to get it out of my my mind....but i got more anxious  becoze he paid all of threre money for csw...and that money is paid before having sex.........and may be he gave that condom in which he made hole.to that csw at that time.....althogh the money is not payed to csw it is paid to the incharge of brotherel...but csw is also present at that time as the incharge gave a paper chit to csw ........


althogh after having sex i noticed that condom has not bursted and looked very normal with all sperm colllected in it..and there was no leak  visible........

i am very anxious what do u think after reading this........do i have hiv......???????????    can i have hiv?????????????
can this all happen?????????????????   i m really depressed........and think that i  have very limited time left in my life.......
..................................................

[josh67]

thanx..

[RainLover71]

You have nothing to be concerned about because you used protection and it didn't fail you.If you can't accept this fact then you can test now and the result will be conclusive.All the best.