Avatar universal

Am at Risk? - HIV

My name is Chris and I am in my 30’s and am very frightened and ashamed of what I did and what may happen due to a recent experience.

I known you do not want someone continually returning and creating new threads and posts, so I am placing all my info with regards to my experience on this one thread post.

Sexual History

I am not a promiscuous individual, as I have had Vaginal sex less times than the fingers on my hands. That said, each time was done with protection (condoms).

I have also had Oral sex a limited amount of time (as few as my vaginal sexual encounters), and if I was uncertain of the person’s sexual history, I was sure to wear a condom as well.  


On July 2, I went to a massage parlor (nuru) to which I engaged in non-penetrative sexual acts. Again, these acts did not include Anal, Vaginal or even oral. What did occur was the following:

During the massage I touched her vagina, but did no penetrate her. I did get vaginal fluid on my fingers, though my fingers did not have any cuts or open wounds, and I did not put the fluid any where near my eyes, mouth or genitals.
I had saw that she had used her saliva twice as lubricant during the hand job which had me a bit nervous as I was not sure if saliva contained the HIV or other STIs.

During the massage, the woman got on top of me and sat on me (again no penetration or insertion), but she was near or on my privates. We both noted verbally that there would be no insertion and there was none.


About 3-4 days later after the exposure, I started to have the following symptoms:  
• Stomach issues – diarrhea (Read on the internet as that being one of the 1st symptoms), cramps, and gas
• Nausea – Has subsided
• Sligh cough - occasionally and is recent

Symptoms I have not yet had are:
• Fever
• Night sweets
• Body aches
• Rashes
• Severe headaches – had a few, but haven’t been eating much this past while following the event
• Ulcers
• Swollen lymph nodes
• Join pain

I had blood and urine tests done for other STIs that can be determined and diagnosed in a short time frame (Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, etc.) which the results were all negative. No warts or other skin bacteria illnesses.
I have requested an HIV test which is due to take place early next month, but my anxiety has quite taken over and am fearful of both the wait and the results.

I the time I had had my test done to the moment of writing this, I have reached out to several HIV/AIDS councillors, hospital nurses and walk-in clinic doctors. The problem I am having which is causing a lot of anxiety with the lack of consist answers between hospital nurses, walk-in clinic doctors and the councillors at the sexual clinics.

Not knowing the current sexual health of the woman in question, but for the sake of argument she was positive, can you advise on my questions below?

1. Saliva (used twice) – I have been to walk clinics since my exposure, and one of the doctors at one clinic said it was possible to be infected with saliva on either your genitals or open wound. Is this true?

2. Vaginal fluid – With my finger toughing her vagina (no-insertion) and it being covered vaginal fluid, what is my risk? No cuts or open wounds on my finger. A nurse said there is potential for the virus to enter via microscopic cuts (guess she means paper cuts idk), but my visible eye couldn’t see any wounds.

3. Vaginal fluid – Though I never saw her do this, but what if the woman touched her vaginal and thus had vaginal fluid on her hand(s) and proceed with the hand job, is there a risk there? Again, I talked to another doctor at a clinic who said that vaginal fluid can infect someone during non-penetrative sex.

4. Does non-insertive rubbing carry an HIV risk? Again, my penis was at no time inside of her vagina or anus and the rubbing was more her sitting on my genitals. Is there a risk of her vaginal fluids dripping down onto my glans into my urethra? I read that the virus can be absorbed through the glans.

5. Are my symptoms indictive to HIV? Food still goes through me which is a recent occurrence in my life.

I apologize for the length but am quite concerned and panicked about this.

Any answers you can provide would be greatly appreciated. As I mentioned earlier, I am quite frightened and panicked about this and any support or answers you can offer I would again appreciate.

Thank You,

Best Answer
3191940 tn?1447268717
The only risks for HIV in adults are:
1) Having unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or
2) sharing intravenous needles with IV drug users.

There isn't any other situation that you can think of that would put you at risk for HIV. Fluids that you contacted on a hand or any other surface are NOT infectious for HIV.  Fluids outside the body, such as vaginal fluid "dripping down" your penis into the urethra isn't a risk.  There is no detail that you can add to this event that would make it a risk for HIV - you had zero risk, and you don't need a test.

When it comes to HIV, sexually, it is very easy - no anal/vaginal penetration = no risk.

I don't know what is causing your medical symptoms, but they aren't related to HIV since you were never exposed to HIV.
3 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
If you know well that there were no penetrative sex at all including so how you will catch hiv ? What is the method ? Do you how many people in the world During the massage, the woman got on top of them  and sat on them  (again no penetration or insertion), but she was near or on their  privates  ? Millions and no one catch hiv this way ... never happened .
Move on and forgot it .. enjoy ur life .. u are safe if no penetrative sex or if there penetrative sex with condom .
Forgot it .
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
1 If that nutty guy was right we would all have it by now because so many people kiss. Reality is no one has it from kissing.
2&3 If they were right we would all have it by now because everyone gets cut and touches many people, some of whom are positive and have bleeding cuts too. hiv lives in the blood of positive people so if they were right one bleeding hiv positive person would infect lots of people.
Helpful - 1
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community

Top HIV Answerers
366749 tn?1544695265
Karachi, Pakistan
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.