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Avatar universal

Anxiety attack induced symptoms or HIV symptoms?

I am a 32-year old man and been with my female partner for a decade. But like the most horrible people that we men are, I did one terrible mistake.
I had a paid encounter with an escort couple, a guy and girl. I am circumcised. The girl performed unprotected oral on me, quite rough. The guy had unprotected intercourse with her, followed by me having protected intercourse with her. That part turned out to be a bit dry and rough and then in the end we realized that my condom got torn in the act. Although the couple assured me they had been tested in May and they only had started escorting a month before with only 3 clients and all protected. I do not know whether to believe it but I am freaking out to no end.

I started getting nightmares, feeling cold and getting night sweats. My temperature seemed normal when I checked. I also realize my heart-rate is going nuts to 76-90, when normally it is near to 65. I googled symptoms of HIV and went crazy stressed and lost it. I do not know how to check for lymph nodes etc, but I am getting panic or anxiety attacks in my sleep. I have not been able to sleep more than a couple of hours every night. I went to do a full STD test but they take a week for results. I am so stressed because I realized I have also been going to the toilet 2-3 times every day this last week. My stools are not watery, but soft and small lumps but I also have a lot of gas. I do not think I had a rash or anything - but I noticed a reddish patch about 1cm2 between my chest-neck 3 days ago that disappeared over next 36hours. It did not itch and I had thought it might be due my jacket zip or sweater stitching that caught up and caused abrasive reddening. I don't understand what oral thrush exactly looks like - but I have had a whitish tongue that I need to clean every other day since many years (not a crust on any other oral part, but my tongue has a white layer often, that I clean using a tongue-cleaner thinking it is due to bad digestion and lifestyle issues. With lack of sleep and panicking, I feel fatigued all day and feel disoriented in doing normal physical activity such as walking or lifting. I dont have headaches but have been getting mild headaches since a couple of days.

Still few days to go before I know the results. I don't know what to do - I am so scared, stressed and losing it, I feel it would be better to just drop dead than go through this tension and guilt. Do you think I might have contracted something or am I worried sick for nothing? Do you think my symptoms are actually need for worry?Or is it my worrying, google and coincidence that are causing most of the symptoms? What do you think I should do?
5 Responses
Avatar universal
Another addition. I have lost  about 2-3lbs in a week. No way to check back with the couple as I live in Asia and this happened when I was visiting Scotland last month. I am so stressed, I cant sleep at all. What do I do? Please help with some answers.
Avatar universal
You really should be posting on the anxiety forum here because every one of your symptoms is classic severe anxiety/panic attacks. You had a slight risk from the broken condom, but the chances are highly unlikely that your partners are infected. If they are HIV negative then there's no risk of catching anything. Most people when asked are truthful about their status because there's no benefit to lying about it.

I think you need to calm down and treat your anxiety symptoms. I think you also need to take an HIV test and collect your sure to be negative results and move on with your life. Fear of taking the test is a stupid reason not to get tested.  You're literally prolonging your anxiety for no reason.
Thank you for the answer. I have not prolonged the test. I took a full std test including hiv, but the results are due in 5 more days. That will surely reduce my mental stress. Will update it here.
Thanks for your reassurance that it is unlikely. You are right. Why'd anyone lie about it unless they themselves don't know? And the chances of contracting it is highly unlikely. I am surely panicking out of proportion. I have never had such severe panic/anxiety, so it is all new to me, especially when many symptoms seem to manifest themselves after I started looking for them. I need to work on it and relax. Thanks.
Avatar universal
This is getting too annoying (and also scary). I noticed that I usually eat 4 meals a day and have quite an appetite. But I'm not able to eat even less than half a meal 2 times and I feel so heavy and full and don't even have place in the system to drink water.
To contradict that, I'm still going to the toilet 2-3 times a day. So didn't make any sense why I'm feeling full and nauseated after even eating a little bit (even though I don't even feel hungry).
I've lost 3lbs now and I'm still in an emotional rollercoaster thinking I have hiv and then thinking for few minutes that is highly unlikely. Then I'm back to seeing all the symptoms taking over and I start freaking out. Ah why'd it have to be one full week of waiting for results!!
Not to mention I'll have to get another one in 3 months to be definitely assured.  
Can others also share some light on my worry?
Look up anxiety symptoms because they are SPOT ON exactly what you are describing. And take my advice and post on the anxiety forum. I have panic attacks all the time and I know the signs like a pro, so there's no sense in arguing with me. I'm right and you're panicking.
Hi Chima7, I'm not arguing at all. I'm thankful you are taking the time to comment and tell me all of this. Since I've never had panic attacks nor any risk before, I'm just observing symptoms and things happening to me that haven't almost ever occurred.
Thank you for your patience and info. I appreciate it.
188761 tn?1584567620
Three key points:

1. As stated earlier, your symptoms are certainly anxiety driven,none of it seems specific to HIV ARS. Refrain from reading about HIV symptoms on the internet, you are clearly imagining what you are reading on to your self.

2. Your risk was very low, it is observed that for a male to contract this virus from a female partner through vaginal intercourse, it usually takes multiple exposures.Your exposure was brief, can't be classified as a one time full unprotected exposure, you were only unprotected for moments during the time your condom failed. I would also focus on the reassurance provided by your partner,most people won't lie in such situation.

3. Your guilt is the driving factor behind your paranoia right now, please seek counseling to address the issue from it's core.

Get test at 28 days with a IV Generation HIV test and move on. I anticipate a negative.
Thank you for your comment and reassurance. I had given blood & urine for testing on day 33 after exposure. I'm not aware if the test generation is IV or any other, but I'm sure the testing center are experts in it. I await the results for another 4 days.
Thank you all for the support and clearing out my doubts.
If you're from India, US or any other European nation, you are most likely to be given a IV Generation of HIV test as a standard diagnostic test for this virus. As said before, your result is likely to be negative. Good luck.
*Also Australia.
Hello everyone, Thanks for all your assurances during my panic time.
I got the results day before and they're all negative for all STD's including HIV.
Also, most of my symptoms had already reduced or disappeared by reading your inputs and support. So I was already calmer before I got the results. Anxiety can be real bad, I agree with you Chima7.

I'm not sure if the test was a Generation IV or not (I'm not from any of the above countries mentioned by Mike_no), but is it advised to get another test at the 12-week mark? I'm completely calm and not manifesting any symptoms, but do you advise to do the test one final time at the 12-week mark? Thank you.
20620809 tn?1504362969
What was the name of your test? This is not difficult to know.  If you are unsure, call the place where you took it or your doctor's office and ask specifically.  If it is 4th generation, you are finished and have no reason to test further.  If not, then a test at 3 months is advised.  But remember, if you have a one time exposure with an HIV+ person, the risk is extremely low of less than 2 percent transmission.  If the person is not HIV+,  the risk is zero.  So, keep your low risk in mind.  
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