Avatar universal

Bad muscle/joint pain and fatigue following runny nose


Around 6 weeks ago I had a possible exposure to an HIV infected person when having protected anal sex but unprotected oral sex (without ejaculation) with another man after a very drunk night out. I don't know if this person had HIV but ever since I have been extremely worried and anxious about whether i have indeed caught it.

I am in a long term relationship and extremely worried about what impact this will have if I come up as positive when I have the test after three months. I began by just getting a runny nose and a bit of tiredness for a week and then that followed by extreme fatigue and muscle/joint paints that are getting worse. My girlfriend now has a cold as well and she can't seem to budge it. I am so so bloody nervous that I have not only caught HIV but have also given it to my girlfriend who I love so much and feel like the biggest idiot in the whole world right now for possibly ruining her life.

I'm so so scared that I still have to wait another month and a half before I can know for sure. My aches are getting worse daily especially in my forearms and hands. I keep waking up and my fingers seem to be seizing up. I thought I would start to feel better by now if this was just a virus or post viral thing but it seems to be getting worse. I also have tiny bits of mucus in my stools. I am getting really depressed and almost can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I have chucked away everything that I have worked towards in my life for one stupid pathetic mistake. I wouldn't be able to live with the consequences of passing something like HIV onto the person I care about most in the world.

If anyone has any advice i would really appreciate it. I have read up lots of these forums and noticed that everyone points towards anxiety etc, but my pains in my arms are progressively getting worse and so it my tiredness. I have no one to speak to about this...

12 Responses
Avatar universal
HIV is not transmitted by oral sex.
Avatar universal
But I had a small lesion at the back of my mouth where one of my wisdom teeth were infected at the time... I have read up on the oral spread of hiv and see that it can be a cause.

Is there really nothing for me to worry about even though I had a open wound in my mouth?

Avatar universal
You did not have an exposure.
Avatar universal
I know you don't think I have had an exposure but how can you be sure of this? All the websites tell me that it is possible to have an exposure in this way. If I haven't had an exposure why are my muscles aching so badly and why am I so tired?

I appreciate your response to my post very much.... but a little more clarification or explanation would be greatly received.

Avatar universal
No incident HIV infections among MSM who practice exclusively oral sex.
Int Conf AIDS 2004 Jul 11-16; 15:(abstract no. WePpC2072)??Balls JE, Evans JL, Dilley J, Osmond D, Shiboski S, Shiboski C, Klausner J, McFarland W, Greenspan D, Page-Shafer K?University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, United States

Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update
J Campo1, MA Perea1, J del Romero2, J Cano1, V Hernando2, A Bascones1
Oral Diseases (2006) 12, 219–228

AIDS: Volume 16(17) 22 November 2002 pp 2350-2352
Risk of HIV infection attributable to oral sex among men who have sex with men and in the population of men who have sex with men

Page-Shafer, Kimberlya,b; Shiboski, Caroline Hb; Osmond, Dennis Hc; Dilley, Jamesd; McFarland, Willie; Shiboski, Steve Cc; Klausner, Jeffrey De; Balls, Joycea; Greenspan, Deborahb; Greenspan
Page-Shafer K, Veugelers PJ, Moss AR, Strathdee S, Kaldor JM, van Griensven GJ. Sexual risk behavior and risk factors for HIV-1 seroconversion in homosexual men participating in the Tricontinental Seroconverter Study, 1982-1994 [published erratum appears in Am J Epidemiol 1997 15 Dec; 146(12):1076]. Am J Epidemiol 1997, 146:531-542.

Studies which show the fallacy of relying on anecdotal evidence as opposed to carefully controlled study insofar as HIV transmission risk is concerned:

Jenicek M. "Clinical Case Reporting" in Evidence-Based Medicine. Oxford: Butterworth–Heinemann; 1999:117
Saltzman SP, Stoddard AM, McCusker J, Moon MW, Mayer KH. Reliability of self-reported sexual behavior risk factors for HIV infection in homosexual men. Public Health Rep. 1987 102(6):692–697.Nov–Dec;

Catania JA, Gibson DR, Chitwood DD, Coates TJ. Methodological problems in AIDS behavioral research: influences on measurement error and participation bias in studies of sexual behavior. Psychol Bull. 1990 Nov;108(3):339–362.

There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".

"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANSFIELD
Jus so u kno jeff jus txt me an said take ur ******* kid and get the **** out of my life
"I am sure you can find lots of people who believe that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK

"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK

in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
"HIV is not spread by masturbation, through oral sex, through kissing or other casual contact." Dr. Hook
"The observation on thousands and thousands of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort)." DR HOOK
"I would not say your risk ,if he had HIV is "slim to none"- that's too high.  I would say they are effectively zero.  How much of his ejaculate or other genital  secretions you may have swallowed makes no difference.  EWH "
"As far as HIV is concerned, there is no known risk of getting HIV from performing oral sex on an infected partner, even if that person's genital secretions get into your eyes or if you swallow." Dr.Hook
HIV is not spread by oral sex, giving or receiving, even if sores, gum disease or blood is present
The fact is that there are no cases in which HIV has been proven to be transmitted by oral sex, including fellatio..  EWH
Avatar universal
point proven, thanks a lot. Really appreciate that! You've just hopefully made my christmas a lot more chilled out.

Avatar universal
out of interest how would you be able to explain why my body is aching so badly? and my fatigue? my girlfriend has had sore throat, cough and blocked nose for almost 2 weeks now.....
Avatar universal
She sounds like she has a cold.
See a Dr if you are concerned with your health.
Avatar universal
I've been to the doctor who has said to return in a couple of weeks if the symptoms haven't subsided. It's just this time between now and when I can get a firm hiv result which is killing me with worry.
Avatar universal
You never had an exposure and you do not need testing for HIV.
Avatar universal

so i got a test done at 6 weeks which has come back negative. But my aches in my body are at a really bad stage now. My shoulders are continuously aching and my wrists are killing me. They click constantly and I've lost all my strength in them... I have tried to make it better by doing light exercise and yoga but it just makes things worse....

I'm still so worried as although you say there is no risk in giving oral I did 100% have quite an open cut in the back of my mouth where my wisdom tooth was coming through that was extremely painful the day after the possible exposure.....

Why else would my body be in this much pain? Surely it couldn't be a coincidence that a healthy 24 year old suddenly gets arthritis or something?
Avatar universal
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