Well no hard feelings then. I know i have a problem but i'm not at the point were i think i'm in the clear regarding my status although this date is fast approaching...
>Feel free to point out anything that backs up what you just said by the way...
Feel free to sort through your posting history, Chap. Which was the point. It may do you some good to start reading through some of your older posts to see how very similar they are to your current posts. And, do you remember the result of your last test, when you had every symptom in the world? Ah, it was negative. As your 6 month test will be, as your 1 year test will be, as your 2 year test will be, as your 3 year test will be. The thought of you completely walling yourself off from your life because you cannot get help for this makes me sad. It really does...for you, and for others like you.
It is not pity, just a wish to whomever may be up there looking down on us that you get some relief for this. You don't deserve to live this way, you don't have to live this way. If I could, I would pick you up from in front of your computer and forcefully drag you to see a therapist, and keep seeing him or her until the day came when you did not feel the need to visit this forum any longer. I cannot, though. All I can do is egg you on, scold you, whatever, in the hopes that something I say may prompt some glimmer of recognition in you that the problem here is not HIV, it is something else entirely, and that, if you only would, you could receive help for it, whatever it may ultimately be.
I am as stubborn as anyone, but I think even I am seeing the writing on the wall here. If it helps you to come here, more power to you. Somehow, though, I think this will be a temporary fix for your issue.
>Thats maybe where you got confused XHOST, but don't call me a lier in so many >words, i'm not laughing, this is no laughing matter and please don't continue to guise >things with the whole self effacing passive aggressive yet posturing.
Ah, some fire in your belly. I like the previous a whole lot better than this:
>For now i will expect the worst and hope for the best, even though i have little hope >left in my thoughts my friends....
Chap, I am not under the impression that you are a liar. I fully believe that you believe that you may have HIV. I owe you an apology, as I probably came on a bit too strong in my last post. I was wondering, though, how you would react. I was also wondering if someone forcefully challenged your beliefs what effect it might have. It got you riled up, that is true, and did not have the effect I had hoped and wished for. Which was, specifically, to get you to see recognize the patterns in your behavior, which in time might prompt at least a bit of self awareness, and then recognition. That is what I get for playing Freud over the Internet.
What else can I say, Chap, except that I wish you all the best, and I mean that. Take care of yourself. Really, take care of yourself. Do what you have to do to lead a life free of all this. Only you can take the first steps to doing it, as neither I nor anyone else can do it for you. I can urge, we can cajole, but in the end, it is going to be up to you.
My groin still has swollen lymph nodes. I either have lymphoma/ hodgkins or hiv man. I bet you secretly think that based on your extensive knowledge hiv/aids that i have the tell tales signs of testing hiv posiive but your putting on the kid gloves for now right?
You don't fall in that category and you know it. You're negative.
What about the chance i'm a three percenter?
Your symptoms have nothing to do with HIV. You have you conclusive test result to prove it.
Your chalking this all up as ocd? Nothing more than that? You don't think the symptoms were real?
I would have moved on. I don't have an obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Based on everything i've posted over the last 6 months or so and all the symptoms experienced. If you were me would you test again or would you have moved on-honestly. Even if you think you were thinking you were most likley negative and ill with something else -or- a co-infection, would'nt you test once more just for piece of mind and to close the gap all together once and for all Teak?
I don't think i'm going to post my upcomig test results either way come February. If i'm positive i'm not going to be able to take all the swipes this forum will be taking at m and.If i'm negative you will all think i put on some type song and dance all for nothing which is fine. Everything i've posted i've experienced, i've lived, no $hit, it's easy to make light of people or try to poke holes but there is no chink in my armmoure because it's all the truth what i've said, every bit of it like it or not believe it or not, it's the truth. Some say my account has eveolved but what you forget is that when i first arrived here i never really told everything, go back and look at what i've said over the last five half months and you will see this. I was initially very careful not to say too much or go into great detail about my exposure because i was afraid i would not be believed, plus the atmosphere was thick with catty responses. It initially made me leery of the forum until i got to know the nature of some and then i opened up, but not until much later on. This may have confused some but that is what happened and those were my symptoms. The thing that bothers me is that if i'am positive i will not be able to state my case for all to see and take away what they wish. I don't want to be picked a part like some of the others i've seen test positive. I just hope i'm not positive to begin with in the first place. I've gotten over my fear of dying anyways, my only concern is for the care of my elderly parents when i'm gone i don't want them to get taken advantage of. For now i will expect the worst and hope for the best, even though i have little hope left in my thoughts my friends....
Your 3 month conclusive negative test is what back up what Xhost has mentioned.
Feel free to point out anything that backs up what you just said by the way...
Are you kidding man? What are you talking about? I've never said the old symptoms were not REAL, nor have i said my new symptoms super-ceed old ones that not the case at all. I did say that this cold seems to MIRROR the initial symptoms-did'nt you see this?Thats maybe where you got confused XHOST, but don't call me a lier in so many words, i'm not laughing, this is no laughing matter and please don't continue to guise things with the whole self effacing passive aggressive yet posturing.
You said: .i feel like i got in my test right before i was to seroconvert and it for that i'am ill all of the time.
I say: Uh, yeah. If you had not seroconverted before you your last test then what exactly were all those symptoms you were complaining about the last time you were active in the forums?
Pshaw. You may have forgotten the endless rounds of posts detailing those "symptoms", and rebuttals, but I haven't. Now you feel that somehow, well, you didn't really have any symptoms before your last test, but this time, yeah, you are *definitely* having symptoms.
You are either having a laugh at our expense or you have short term retention issues. Either way, why not take a look back through all of your earlier posts, compare them with your new ones, and tell me what you see. It's almost as if you keep all of your posts in some folder on your desktop, and recycle the same 10 or so, choosing them at random.
So, please, if you wish to continue posting, be my guest, it is a free country. But, try not to insult our intelligence in the process, Ok? Because, Chap, your newer posts are no different from your older posts, yet now you claim that somehow all of that stuff you were posting before means nothing - Oh, no, those weren't really symptoms, but these are!
New symptoms, meet the old symptoms. Oh, you've met before? Ah, of course you have, because I see that you are identical twins.
Maybe he had it right the first time-just kidding...
Thank you for taking the time hopeless4now, your words were helpful to me. I can't shake the feeling that i'm positive...i feel like i got in my test right before i was to seroconvert and it for that i'am ill all of the time. We will see about it in Feb man, but thanks again hopeless4now...
chapeau sorry man i gave you the wrong web site
its
www.igotstuckbyacrackheadsneedle.com
lolol...now THAT is funny :)
sorry chapeau :(
chapeau i stayed up late last night researching go to this site here its for you it matches your symptoms
www.chapeauismentallyill.com
chapeau's name should be "hopeless4now". dont waste your breath...we have been telling him all of this plus more, for months on end now. his six month test comes up the first week of february...and that is what he has been waiting for...or so he says. i dont believe that he will be able to accept that test either and will find some new reason to test at 12 months...18 months...and so on.
he is...without a doubt...a sad case.
I had a temperature of 101 a few hours ago with a terrible headache, body/joint/skin aches, soar throat and a lot of sweating...I feel terrible right now, honestly. I have also been sick 3 times in the past 3 months after my own exposure, however it does not mean there is an association with HIV. I have put my trust in my 3 month test and realize it is just the flu or something...so many people down here are getting sick that I know...it's just the season for it. There is no way your symptoms are related to HIV, but it is certain that you are suffering from terrible anxiety and unfortunately, it's just that time of the year to get sick. You have tested out with conclusive results and I do understand the fears (been there myself), but you have to look at the facts: the probability of acquiring HIV through needle stick around 1/300 = 0.33% chance (if that even happened) + probability needle was contaminated + 3 month CONCLUSIVE result + symptoms that have lasted too long + cold/flu season = NO HIV. All the testing and facts prove you are negative. Sorry for ranting so much, but I can relate with the anxiety (makes even the most irrational fear seem so real), however you have to let it go. Life is full of risks and possibilities, so why not move forward and leave behind the things that hold you back...you are ok, you just have to put all of this in perspective and you will see there is absolutely nothing to worry about...I hope this helps at least a little.
you see there point# 3.
Its on your mind 24-7. so get rid of HIV-chapeau (HIV - hat)
stop browsing the you tube videos.
take a loot at the other post i just submitted.
I am not a theropist but, can you try this
do some physical exercise running or playing (excessively), until the point you sweat out totally then take a shower, grab a beer & burger and sleep..
you will be fresh tomorrow... trust me
what's your problem man
1) you dont trust your blood reports
2) your dont trust the experts (docs on this forum say 6-8 week is plenty)
3) you dont trust Teak
4) you dont trust your friends
unfortunately there ain't no pills to put the trust.
damn, man you are worried over
here is the source: http://www.aac.org/site/PageServer?pagename=basics_home