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Concerned about HIV risk, awaiting results
On business travel to Chicago, I made a very drunken mistake of soliciting an Asian csw for $250. Because of my drunken state, I'm concerned that I might have forgotten some details but here's what I recall:
- Unprotected BJ by request, and she wasn't eager to comply but did. Lasted approx 1 minute or so.
- Protected sex but only lasted a very short time because I could not keep an erection.
- Masturbated her with finger for a short period
- Attempted protected sex again but could not keep erection
- Tried to get her to perform unprotected sex and she refused, multiple times. (I likely would not have done it, but for some reason I was trying to see if I could convince her since nothing else would work for me) Dumb, I get it and likely where my shame is coming from.
- I vaguely remember a condom tear at the top near the base of the penis and she immediately changed to a new one.
- I quit trying after a while, my member just simply wouldn't work.
- Washed up and peed immediately.
My fear is, although I've tried very hard to remember, what if I forgot about a period of unprotected sex? I'd like to think I would completely remember that and it likely would have made me perform but anxious thinking has the best of me. I've resisted sex with my girlfriend since this episode but can't for much longer. No penile symptoms, and no sickness as of yet but I do feel rundown and like I'm on my way to getting sick. I took an RNA test at day 17 and am awaiting results. I didn't know that test wasn't designed to diagnose so I'm worried about that now too. What are my risks for HIV and if I'm on day 18 now, is it safe to say that Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are not real threats at this point?
- Unprotected BJ by request, and she wasn't eager to comply but did. Lasted approx 1 minute or so.
- Protected sex but only lasted a very short time because I could not keep an erection.
- Masturbated her with finger for a short period
- Attempted protected sex again but could not keep erection
- Tried to get her to perform unprotected sex and she refused, multiple times. (I likely would not have done it, but for some reason I was trying to see if I could convince her since nothing else would work for me) Dumb, I get it and likely where my shame is coming from.
- I vaguely remember a condom tear at the top near the base of the penis and she immediately changed to a new one.
- I quit trying after a while, my member just simply wouldn't work.
- Washed up and peed immediately.
My fear is, although I've tried very hard to remember, what if I forgot about a period of unprotected sex? I'd like to think I would completely remember that and it likely would have made me perform but anxious thinking has the best of me. I've resisted sex with my girlfriend since this episode but can't for much longer. No penile symptoms, and no sickness as of yet but I do feel rundown and like I'm on my way to getting sick. I took an RNA test at day 17 and am awaiting results. I didn't know that test wasn't designed to diagnose so I'm worried about that now too. What are my risks for HIV and if I'm on day 18 now, is it safe to say that Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are not real threats at this point?
From what you have written here, I honestly don't think you had any kind of risk for HIV.
The unprotected blow job was NOT a risk for HIV.
Masturbating her was NOT a risk for HIV.
You made a few attempts at PROTECTED sex which failed and were NOT a risk for HIV.
You said you "tried to get her to perform unprotected sex and she refused, multiple times......."
This tells me that your partner has VERY firm rules about using protection and was NOT persuaded to break those rules. Since you seem to have no problem remembering your attempts to convince her, I think you would assuredly recall if you HAD succeeded in doing that.
You also said "I vaguely remember a condom tear at the top near the base of the penis and she immediately changed to a new one."
Once again I am giving high marks to this woman for protecting herself by insisting on using a new condom.
Personally, I don't think you had a risk, but since you can't trust your memory, it's better that you've gone ahead with testing for peace of mind. They should have informed you that the RNA test would NOT be conclusive and that you would need further testing at 4-6 weeks and a confirmatory test at 12 weeks for conclusive results. I trust you will follow the testing guidelines. If you have questions, consult your doctor, any Planned Parenthood facility or an HIV clinic.
While oral sex is NOT a risk for HIV, it IS a risk for other STI's and you would do well to have a full STD panel done at the correct time. Not all STD's have the same window period, so consulting someone knowledgeable about them would be a smart move.
Symptoms, by the way, are NEVER used to diagnose HIV.
If you do have sex with your girlfriend, make sure you use a condom and do not have unprotected oral sex until you have been fully cleared of ALL STD's.
I wish you the best
The unprotected blow job was NOT a risk for HIV.
Masturbating her was NOT a risk for HIV.
You made a few attempts at PROTECTED sex which failed and were NOT a risk for HIV.
You said you "tried to get her to perform unprotected sex and she refused, multiple times......."
This tells me that your partner has VERY firm rules about using protection and was NOT persuaded to break those rules. Since you seem to have no problem remembering your attempts to convince her, I think you would assuredly recall if you HAD succeeded in doing that.
You also said "I vaguely remember a condom tear at the top near the base of the penis and she immediately changed to a new one."
Once again I am giving high marks to this woman for protecting herself by insisting on using a new condom.
Personally, I don't think you had a risk, but since you can't trust your memory, it's better that you've gone ahead with testing for peace of mind. They should have informed you that the RNA test would NOT be conclusive and that you would need further testing at 4-6 weeks and a confirmatory test at 12 weeks for conclusive results. I trust you will follow the testing guidelines. If you have questions, consult your doctor, any Planned Parenthood facility or an HIV clinic.
While oral sex is NOT a risk for HIV, it IS a risk for other STI's and you would do well to have a full STD panel done at the correct time. Not all STD's have the same window period, so consulting someone knowledgeable about them would be a smart move.
Symptoms, by the way, are NEVER used to diagnose HIV.
If you do have sex with your girlfriend, make sure you use a condom and do not have unprotected oral sex until you have been fully cleared of ALL STD's.
I wish you the best
1 Comments
Thank you, below reply meant for you as well :-)
Thanks for the reply. I agree, the mind is a powerful thing when racing with fear! I wouldn't classify my exposure as negligible as i was with a csw and really drunk. Like most people on here, I'm hoping for some reassurance in the science behind my results. Has anyone tested as I have and later become positive? And with all of the "conclusive" testing confusion, it's a tough wait. I'm really just trying to move on but it's tough, and even considering a 6 week test on Monday. Ugh the drama from a terrible decision.....
1 Comments
Ok. if you want you can test on monday but we cannot assure you any more of your predicted negative results.
Overthinker, try to think logically dude. The mind play games that true with majority of people coming to this forum but to let these games ruin your life is not good. You had no risk and your both initial tests gives you a solid conclusion tests. You have to understand and believe that HIV can show up positive if there is a chance and exposure. If there is no exposure then how can a test at 16, 24 or even 90 days come positive. I think you should take these tests as a good indication of your status and move on. What's and if will keep you in this miserable state of mind and will do no good.
Hoping to get some further comments if possible, would surely be helpful to calm my anxieties:
1) Would a negative rna test at 16 days, plus a negative duo test at 28 be considered conclusive?
2) Is it possible that p24 antigens would be too low to detect on the duo if not symptomatic at 28 days?
3) I've experienced stomach cramping and pain, no diahrreha, for the past 5 days. Could this be an ars stmptom and is 4.5 weeks too late for that to start? Possibly anxiety related?
4) Would i need to retest with another duo, and if so, at what timeframe to make a difference between the already negative 28 day? I'm currently at 5.5 weeks.
5) Has there ever been a documented case of a negative duo at 28 days later becoming positive from the same exposure?
I'm just trying to get past this event and resume a normal relationship with my partner. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
1) Would a negative rna test at 16 days, plus a negative duo test at 28 be considered conclusive?
2) Is it possible that p24 antigens would be too low to detect on the duo if not symptomatic at 28 days?
3) I've experienced stomach cramping and pain, no diahrreha, for the past 5 days. Could this be an ars stmptom and is 4.5 weeks too late for that to start? Possibly anxiety related?
4) Would i need to retest with another duo, and if so, at what timeframe to make a difference between the already negative 28 day? I'm currently at 5.5 weeks.
5) Has there ever been a documented case of a negative duo at 28 days later becoming positive from the same exposure?
I'm just trying to get past this event and resume a normal relationship with my partner. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Testing all came back negative, still no symptoms other than malaise, an overall weak feeling, and weird taste in my mouth. I know PCR tests are not necessarily conclusive, but knowing my exposure, would it be just about 99% that I am indeed negative? Thanks!
1 Comments
RNA test i meant......
I should have mentioned earlier that I did get tested for chlamydia and gonorreha as well, and also awaiting those results. I'm nervous about it all, just very anxious over hiv. Thanks again for the advice guys!
1 Comments
We have established that you had no risk for HIV from this encounter, so move on from that.
It's good you were tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea, but there are a number of other STD's that you should test for. Some of them are treatable but not curable.
It's good you were tested for chlamydia and gonorrhea, but there are a number of other STD's that you should test for. Some of them are treatable but not curable.
In terms of sex with your girlfriend based on a fear of HIV, you would be safe to do so as you did not risk HIV from your activity. However, with regards to STD"S, here is a quote from the STD guru, Terri Warren. She said "Oral sex is safer sex, but not 'safe' sex" when it comes to STD's. You'll have to post on the STD forum. Your risk isn't huge but it can happen. I'd go to a clinic and get tested. Peace of mind is worth a million. I know this is tough when in a relationship. But you want the green light to not infect your partner with anything, right? So just get the tests done. I'd bet my hat you have nothing. But you want to know for sure. The STD forum may have more info for you. Best
Some STD's do not produce symptoms.....please take that to mean that even if your penis looks fine now it is not a guarantee that a disease process has not begun. For general education, this can also apply to HIV. SOME people do not show any symptoms for as long as 10 YEARS. (I do NOT believe you have HIV, but complacency is not always in our best interest)
This woman was most adamant about not having unprotected VAGINAL sex, but even though you said she was "not eager to comply" regarding the blow job, she did it anyway. Are you willing to assume, on your girlfriends behalf, the client she was with BEFORE you was not infected?
I have given you my advice regarding testing and obviously can not make you take it. But I will DEFINITELY NOT tell you to just ignore it and have sex per usual with your girlfriend.
This woman was most adamant about not having unprotected VAGINAL sex, but even though you said she was "not eager to comply" regarding the blow job, she did it anyway. Are you willing to assume, on your girlfriends behalf, the client she was with BEFORE you was not infected?
I have given you my advice regarding testing and obviously can not make you take it. But I will DEFINITELY NOT tell you to just ignore it and have sex per usual with your girlfriend.
Well, for drunken sex, it sounds like you were trying to be safe. To me, you seem to have a full recollection of things even the desire to see how far you could push the CSW checking to see if she'd have unprotected sex with you. Two good things about that--- first, she wouldn't. And second, if she wouldn't with you, she wouldn't with others. So, you found a safe CSW to give your money to!
Oral sex, whether protected or unprotected is not a risk for HIV. No one has ever gotten HIV from that as our saliva will render the virus inactive. Protected sex is not a risk either as that barrier prevents any transmission. And if the condom broke, you'd know. It is a BIG event and very messy. But if you thought you saw a tear and changed it, that's a good thing to. I'm glad you or she had multiple condoms.
The touching, fingering, if you did any kissing-- NONE of that would equate to a risk. HIV is harder to get than people realize and there is nothing that happened that night that happened that exposed you to HIV. Best
Oral sex, whether protected or unprotected is not a risk for HIV. No one has ever gotten HIV from that as our saliva will render the virus inactive. Protected sex is not a risk either as that barrier prevents any transmission. And if the condom broke, you'd know. It is a BIG event and very messy. But if you thought you saw a tear and changed it, that's a good thing to. I'm glad you or she had multiple condoms.
The touching, fingering, if you did any kissing-- NONE of that would equate to a risk. HIV is harder to get than people realize and there is nothing that happened that night that happened that exposed you to HIV. Best
1 Comments
Great feedback, thank you! I've played out the scenario a thousand times in my mind trying to remember if I indeed did something above and beyond that. I even remember her saying at the end of the hour in broken English, while using a hand motion, "you drink too much" when referring to my non-working member. That's telling me that I very likely could never have penetrated her for any period of time. It happens when I drink whiskey, and that night I certainly had a ton of it.
I know symptoms are not always an indicator, but I have zero penile symptoms at 18 days. I'd like to think that's reassuring for other STi's.
As for the RNA test, Dr HHH on this site has posted that an 11+ day or so test would be very indicative of one's status, citing the fact that they use that test for transfusions which is a testament to how good it is. I know to follow up if I felt strongly about it, but in this case, perhaps my risk was very low to begin with. You're both correct, she was persistent in condom usage which is a good thing for me. I originally thought that must mean she was protecting me, but that's far fetched.
Would it be fair to assume low risk and continue sex with my girlfriend? I simply can't keep avoiding her, and this anxiety may be overdone based on the risk anyhow?
I know symptoms are not always an indicator, but I have zero penile symptoms at 18 days. I'd like to think that's reassuring for other STi's.
As for the RNA test, Dr HHH on this site has posted that an 11+ day or so test would be very indicative of one's status, citing the fact that they use that test for transfusions which is a testament to how good it is. I know to follow up if I felt strongly about it, but in this case, perhaps my risk was very low to begin with. You're both correct, she was persistent in condom usage which is a good thing for me. I originally thought that must mean she was protecting me, but that's far fetched.
Would it be fair to assume low risk and continue sex with my girlfriend? I simply can't keep avoiding her, and this anxiety may be overdone based on the risk anyhow?
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