Aa
Convinced myself I have HIV, lots of different symptoms at once
A month ago I went to a party where I stupidly took lots of drugs (speed,mdma). Eventually I went to go to sleep in a spare room, where this gay guy followed me and tried it on with me when I was trying to sleep. After a while (I guess because I was high), I let him perform oral sex on me for a while. Then I went to sleep. I woke up a couple of times in a panic to this person lying next to me.
Beyond the shame I didn’t think much of it the next day. But a few days later my ass started feeling itchy and then got more sore for some days after that. My anxiety convinced myself that I was raped, but I managed to calm myself after a week into believing my mind was making it worse and that I’d likely made it sorer by fidgeting constantly in a panic.
Just after this (2 weeks after the night) I developed a sore chest, followed by a sore throat (which I still have weeks later, with swollen glands I think). This restarted my fears, and then last week (4 weeks since the night) I was bedridden with a fever and diarrhoeas for a few days, my stomach and bowel movements still aren’t right, and my throat and glands are still painful. Also my tongue is now white and has been for about a week.
I’ve tested for Covid multiple times the past few weeks and haven’t got it. Plus I had Covid just over a month ago.
My point is:
1. I know oral sec is low risk, but why would I feel these symptoms so perfectly timed for an ARS reaction, especially since I’ve never experienced symptoms quite like this and I don’t get ill often?
2. If it’s just seasonal flu or something like that, why hasn’t anyone else in my household gotten sick? (I live with a family of 6 people)
3. If it’s a less serious illness, why hasn’t my sore throat gone down after weeks?
4. If oral sex isn’t a risk, would it be possible to be exposed another way (assaulted in my sleep for example) and not know?
I’m sorry for the long rant, I’ve just been beating myself up with worry since the new year began, any help would be very much appreciated.
Beyond the shame I didn’t think much of it the next day. But a few days later my ass started feeling itchy and then got more sore for some days after that. My anxiety convinced myself that I was raped, but I managed to calm myself after a week into believing my mind was making it worse and that I’d likely made it sorer by fidgeting constantly in a panic.
Just after this (2 weeks after the night) I developed a sore chest, followed by a sore throat (which I still have weeks later, with swollen glands I think). This restarted my fears, and then last week (4 weeks since the night) I was bedridden with a fever and diarrhoeas for a few days, my stomach and bowel movements still aren’t right, and my throat and glands are still painful. Also my tongue is now white and has been for about a week.
I’ve tested for Covid multiple times the past few weeks and haven’t got it. Plus I had Covid just over a month ago.
My point is:
1. I know oral sec is low risk, but why would I feel these symptoms so perfectly timed for an ARS reaction, especially since I’ve never experienced symptoms quite like this and I don’t get ill often?
2. If it’s just seasonal flu or something like that, why hasn’t anyone else in my household gotten sick? (I live with a family of 6 people)
3. If it’s a less serious illness, why hasn’t my sore throat gone down after weeks?
4. If oral sex isn’t a risk, would it be possible to be exposed another way (assaulted in my sleep for example) and not know?
I’m sorry for the long rant, I’ve just been beating myself up with worry since the new year began, any help would be very much appreciated.
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
2 Comments
Thank you, this is reassuring. Probably a stupid question, but surely if something did happen, the pain wouldn’t appear days later? Considering I only slept in that bed a few hours and woke up twice in that time, I’m trying to convince myself I’m just being paranoid
I'm not going to speculate on what might or might not have happened. Just test if you're concerned and then you won't have to wonder anymore.
As another update, I’m still waiting for my test to arrive in the mail, it’s taken a lot longer than expected. But I literally just noticed a blatant scab from a cut at the underside of the top of my penis, and this has made me freak out. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it before…..Does this increase my chances of infection? I’ve never had something like this show up before. But if there was blood in this persons saliva, wouldn’t this allow for HIV to get in?
3 Comments
I don’t remember having any sores at the time, but since it’s healed over it means it could have been cut back then.
No one has EVER been infected by receiving oral sex. You will not be the first.
HIV enters through the urethra, by the way - not via minor cuts and scrapes anywhere else on your body.
HIV enters through the urethra, by the way - not via minor cuts and scrapes anywhere else on your body.
Ahhh okay, thank you very much!
As an update, I have now noticed a swollen gland in my throat which was likely there from the start. Maybe a stupid question but does that increase any cause for concern with this?
3 Comments
You don't have any medical training so self diagnosing is not likely to produce correct results. I wouldn't be worried at all about the unlikely scenario of anal rape without pain while waiting for the test result. Avoid anxiety provoking situations like googling and body analysis.
You can test any time now for your conclusive result, since you mentioned that this event occurred at least 4 weeks ago.
Thank you both! This is genuinely reassuring
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Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
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Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
If you are concerned that something else might have happened, simply take a 4th or 5th generation (Ag/Ab) test at least 1 month after the event to know your status for sure. It seems highly unlikely that you would have been penetrated anally without realizing it, even in an intoxicated state, but none of us were there to determine what happened.