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Avatar universal

Dear Dr.s: Swollen Salivary Gland and worried about HIV

I finally decided to sign up for this website after reading several posts over the past couple months.   I've been driving myself crazy with worry to the point I can no longer concentrate on anything.  With no where to turn I figured I join this site to try get a piece of mind or some insight on whether I should even be worries.

On June 20th a friend and I had a threesome with this girl that he had been seeing for about a month.  I can't believe I did this knowing my friends lifestyle.  He's one of those guys who randomly meets girls on adult friend finder and meets up with them to have protected and unprotected sex.  This just happened to be one of the girls he met on the website.  Throughout the whole ordeal I wore a rubber when I had vaginal or anal sex with the female.  At various time throughout the session she performed unprotected oral sex on both of us.  sometimes going right from having my friends penis in her mouth to putting mine in her mouth. This happened several times. Throughout the whole session my friend was flaccid and was never able to be erect, but it didn't stop him from trying.  

Long story short:
I had unprotected oral sex with the female
I had protected vaginal and anal sex with the female
My friend had unprotected oral, vaginal, and anal sex with the female, but he was flaccid.

After the ordeal I instantly began to worry about STD's and the emotional rollercoaster started.  After about a week I was obsessed with the thought I caught gonorrhea or chlamydia from them.  Basically from him precumming in her mouth and then her transferring it to me.  After a week of worrying I could no longer take it so I went to urgent care and said I thought I had a urinary tract infection.  I was too scared to mention what really happened.  During the interview I mentioned that I had a weird sensation in the head or tip of my penis and I always felt like it was discharging, but I never seen anything in my underwear.  He tested me for a bladder infection and asked if I wanted a gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV test as well.  I said sure.  He took the blood for the HIV test, treated me for the gonorrhea and chlamydia and said he would test my urine for them.  Four days later I found out everything was negative including the HIV.

At exactly a month after the ordeal I developed a bad cold or mild case of the flu, it was hard to tell.  congested, cough, sneezing, and fatigue.  I'm unsure if I had a fever.  I may have had a mix of allergies as well.  

On the 7th day of the cold, when I was starting to feel better, I was mowing the lawn.  About half way through I stopped and ate and noticed a slight pain or discomfort in my jaw while eating.  I felt around my jaw and noticed a palpable lump underneath my right jawline about the area where my submandibular gland is located.  

After feeling the lump I've been a mess and it hasn't went away.  It's still very noticeable and doesn't really hurt, but sometimes gives off a slight noticeable pain feeling.  I had no other symptoms.

After having the lump for 3 weeks, I saw my GP and she said my throat, ears and nose looked clear.  I was too scared to tell her the real reason I was in to see her.   My nose showed a slight sign of allergies.  She felt the lump and said it seemed like a swollen lymph node.  She suggested I keep an eye on it and let her know if it didn't go away.

About this time my friend went in for a physical since he had just turned 40.  He had the works tested, including and HIV test and all his results were negative.  I made him show me the results.  I still worry with his lifestyle he may be in a window period, but he says not to worry and he doesn't have a doubt in his mind about his health.

After about two more weeks, with no change in the lump I saw an ENT.  He said everything looked great, but when looking down my throat with a scope he said my lingual tonsil was inflamed.  He said that the tonsil could be causing the lump and prescribed me two weeks worth of Augmentin.  

I have finish the two weeks of Augmentin and still have the lump.  It's actually a little sore after I've tried to massage and use warm compresses on it.  It seems to have hardened a little and is a little more define than before.  I had an ultrasound at a week and a half of being on the antibiotics and the radiologist said my lymph nodes and salivary glands appeared normal even though the tech who did the ultrasound said she definitely thought  my submandibular salivary gland was swollen.  

Please help.   Does it sound like HIV?  I'm scared to even go in for a test!  Can a person get it by what we did?  Please help, I'm very anxious and concerned!!!
15 Responses
Avatar universal
Your friend could not have vaginal or anal sex if he was not erect.

You had no risk from oral sex and no risk from protected sex.
Avatar universal
Thanks for your reply.  You dont think he could've pre-cum in her mouth right before she put my penis in her mouth.  Therefore, transferring it into the head of my penis with her mouth?  

Sorry for the question, but I'm really anxious.
366749 tn?1544695265
As you were told, your risk is non existent, since you were not involved in any unprotected anal or vaginal penetration. Oral sex is zero risk activity. Saliva contains certain enzymes, that inactivate (making the virus unable to infect) HIV instantly.

HIV transmission is possible ONLY as a result of unprotected anal or vaginal sex when we talk about its sexual routes
Avatar universal
Thanks for all your supportful answers.

Your replies are reassuring, but I figured I'd elaborate more about my symptoms. A lot of sites say acute HIV attacks salivary glands. Below is what worries me.
-6/20/13 sexual contact or exposure
-7/20/13 got a cold/mild flu (congested, dry Cough, fatigue, sore throat
-7/27/13 due to pain/discomfort, noticed a swollen salivary gland under my right jawline while eating.
-8/23/13 developed a cold (dry cough and very congested)
-Present still have lump/swollen salivary gland. Intermittently when swallowing my submandibular and paratid produce pain and intermittently produce a dull ache.  

Could this salivary issue be HIV?
Avatar universal
480448 tn?1426948538
Symptoms are just not a reliable indicator of HIV infection.  For one, they're inconsistent, not every newly infected person experiences symptoms, and the symptoms associated with acute HIV infection are very generalized and could be associated with MANY common maladies (ie colds, etc).

That being said...

-6/20/13 sexual contact or exposure
-7/20/13 got a cold/mild flu (congested, dry Cough, fatigue, sore throat
-7/27/13 due to pain/discomfort, noticed a swollen salivary gland under my right jawline while eating.
-8/23/13 developed a cold (dry cough and very congested)
-Present still have lump/swollen salivary gland. Intermittently when swallowing my submandibular and paratid produce pain and intermittently produce a dull ache.  

NONE of those symptoms would be consistent with ARS anyway.  WHEN a person does TRULY have ARS, there are a few classic symptoms that are almost ALWAYS present, the big one being a high fever (over 101).  Without the classic high fever, ARS can almost always be excluded.  The rash is another.  Without those two symptoms, ARS would not be the culprit.  Also, most people with TRUE ARS (people who go on to test +) almost always have generalized lymph node swelling, not localized swelling in one or two areas.  The lymph node swelling related to ARS is usually significant and present in multiple locations.  Even if you had HAD a risk (which you didn't).....your symptoms in no way point to HIV.  So, being that your symptoms are NOT consistent with the hallmark ARS symptoms required to raise suspicions of HIV infection, it's off the table for you.  

The bottom line here is that you protected yourself, nothing else matters.  You never did anything to put yourself at risk, and your "symptoms" are not in any way related to HIV.

Testing in this case wouldn't be necessary, but if you feel a negative HIV test will facilitate you moving on, then have a single HIV test (antibody is fine), and then believe the results.  With HIV, if a person experienced ARS symptoms, they will test + very shortly thereafter.  So, to further ease your mind, if you tested, you can be assured that IF indeed your symptoms were HIV related, you would test +.

If you cannot accept that you don't have an HIV concern, even after testing, I strongly recommend seeking professional help.  You're already experiencing high levels of anxiety and have become overly focused on HIV.  That will only get worse if not addressed.  Don't be like so many people, wasting months, even YEARS of their life chasing their tail about HIV when it isn't warranted.
480448 tn?1426948538
I also suggest you read and reread the answers you received from Dr. HHH....


If an ID doc with decades of experience working with HIV cannot reassure you, then most certainly your anxiety and irrational thinking is problematic where it's becoming debilitating for you.  You need to address that.
Avatar universal
Thanks for your reply.  During my first cold I may have had a high fever for a few days, but I'm unsure.  I was very fatigued and even a little chilled at on point.  Since the first cold, I've been monitoring my temp and its been fine.

My lump may be a lymph node, but the US tech thought it was a salivary gland.  It often radiates pain to my right ear (all clear according to doctor) and towards the front side of my jaw by the front side of my chin.  I've even felt a little discomfort from my left jawline, but no lumps or anything noticeable there.  

Sorry for all the posts, but I'm really concerned.  
Avatar universal
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Avatar universal
Mate, stop worrying.. Maybe you have guilt?  I did, I did something stupid a while back and worried for 14 months, twenty tests and so on..

I had EVERY symptom imaginable, I mean every symptom, I am HIV Negative but what I did do was educate myself on safe sex, always use a condom, never take a "one off risk" & trust that you did not put yourself at risk.

I had twenty tests, a Dr said to me "If you had injected your arm with HIV infected blood and slept with 10 HIV infected women, it does not matter, you are negative"  I chose to believe it and move on, anxiety was the issue, not HIV.

I promise you my friend, you are HIV Negative - now go enjoy life - it only happens once!
Avatar universal
* Any member who creates a second nickname will immediately be banned and have any subsequent nicknames banned.
Avatar universal
I hope that was not directed at myself Teak as I have only just found this site tonight. Rgds..
Avatar universal
over stressing will drive your immune system down not to mention your bodies function all over the place.
this guys on this site really knows what's up, stress can do serious damage physically and mentaly.
let me guess that you haven't being eating well and sleeping bad.
all of this make a bad combination for your over all well being, try to get your life back on track and learn from this experience.
Avatar universal
Just got my test results back and it is negative at the 3 month mark!
Avatar universal
As you were told NO RISK
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