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Avatar universal

Everything seems logical about me having caught HIV

Hey guys,

First of all, let me take this opportunity to convey my heart felt wishes to all for doing a wonderful, wonderful job of helping all worried souls.

My case might just look plain dismissive to you when I say that I had a possible exposure almost 4.5 years back (Aug 2005), unprotected oral and protected vaginal. However it was my first time and I was very nervous and hence couldn't complete the intercourse and came out in 2 min. Am not sure if my condom was intact or broken. That has been my only exposure till date.

Quite expectedly, what followed was a period of never-before-felt stress, anxiety and sleepless nights. I was depressed like hell and lost all zeal of life. It took me almost 1.5-2 years to mitigate the HIV fear and move on in life. However my symptoms never left me, which to date are getting worse by the day and hence my fears of HIV never really left by sub conscious even after multiple ELISA HIV 1&2 negative tests (last done 3.5 years after infection). This includes one western blot 4 months post exposure and negative.

But request you to please consider what I am going through before dismissing it to stress and anxiety. I have read a lot abt both HIV and Stress but somehow not convinced if my infections are all because of stress. Here is the list:

(A) Chronic fatigue- to the extent that I f eel equally fatigued after 10-12 hrs of sleep per night. My energy has just gone down and I cant concentrate on anything. I do anything and start experiencing a brain fag and fogginess. I believe my mental fatigue is much more severe than physical fatigue. How can I still continue to exhibit so much fatigue when I really REALLY dont think abt HIV and the anxiety caused by having caught HIV has gone down considerably over the last 2 years? Could stress I went through over the first 2 years post exposure result in permanent fatigue, even after the last couple of years having spent in comparatively less stress?

I feel so mentally tired even while writing this mail. My eyes are heavy and when I close my eyes, I can feel a really heavy head and tremendous mental fatigue. A perceptible sign of this is constant yawning I do throughout the day, which doesnt really symbolize my feeling sleepy.

(B) constant itching in genitals, anus and chest- I have been experiencing persistent itching in my testicals and anus from the last 4 years. I have used multiple OTC creams but to no effect. The local dermatologist told me its a typical fungal infection and should go with a cream her recommended (Zole-F). It did bring in some relive, but the itching again resurfaces 10-15 days after stopping to apply the cream. Over the last 1 year, i have been feeling constant itching on my chest, especially after waking up in the morning. I see that the area has gone red and there are rashes. No relieve from this as well.

I have read it in a lot of places that constant fungal infection is a sign of HIV. If I dont have this god damn virus, then why dont my itching disappear. I have never had such problems in my life ever!

Please help me guys. Has anyone of you experienced mental fatigue to such an extent due to stress/anxiety and is there SOMETHING that can help me cure this!

There are plenty more smaller symptoms like lump on my hand (slightly above my wrist) on both hands, muscle cramps even upon slightest physical exertion, body going hot after exertion, etc.
6 Responses
Avatar universal
Take it to the OCD forum...you do NOT have a hiv concern.
1122973 tn?1269732128
Four years...wow, and they think  i am bad for being concerned over 6 months. How did u have a western blot four months post exposure..those r used to confirm a positive...
Avatar universal
ELISA HIV 1&2 negative tests (last done 3.5 years after infection).

Read before you post to a thread.
Avatar universal
yeah you missed the 3.5 yr mark :) When I was in my 6-12 month period, I used to think the same about people who are now in my category!

But its just that things have only gone from bad to worse for me over these past hew years. And new doubts start coming to my mind viz. What if my body aint producing antibodies, what if its some rare strain of HIV 1 & 2 etc etc (am in India and there are thousands of HIV 2 cases here)

One last question, if Teak may permit :)

How do people stay undetectable for HIV viral load 5-10 years post exposure? Does this happen only when a person is on HIV medications to subside the viral growth inside the body? If it can stay undetectable even without medications for so many years, why would our body start producing antibodies for such a small viral load? Isnt production of antibodies proportional with the viral load in the bodt? In effect, a person who is undetectable for HIV on a viral load test can stay undetected for ELISA tests as well?
1122973 tn?1269732128
....I still dont get how you had a western blot if all u ever had were negative results ,  but i wish someone could address your questions. they only assest risks here. I also have a question about the hiv vaccine...
Avatar universal
Elite Controllers.. Doesn't have anything to do with antibodies. Anitbodies don't stay hidden. Elite Controllers are able to keep the viral loads undetectable for many years without the aid of medications.
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