First of all, let me take this opportunity to convey my heart felt wishes to all for doing a wonderful, wonderful job of helping all worried souls.
My case might just look plain dismissive to you when I say that I had a possible exposure almost 4.5 years back (Aug 2005), unprotected oral and protected vaginal. However it was my first time and I was very nervous and hence couldn't complete the intercourse and came out in 2 min. Am not sure if my condom was intact or broken. That has been my only exposure till date.
Quite expectedly, what followed was a period of never-before-felt stress, anxiety and sleepless nights. I was depressed like hell and lost all zeal of life. It took me almost 1.5-2 years to mitigate the HIV fear and move on in life. However my symptoms never left me, which to date are getting worse by the day and hence my fears of HIV never really left by sub conscious even after multiple ELISA HIV 1&2 negative tests (last done 3.5 years after infection). This includes one western blot 4 months post exposure and negative.
But request you to please consider what I am going through before dismissing it to stress and anxiety. I have read a lot abt both HIV and Stress but somehow not convinced if my infections are all because of stress. Here is the list:
(A) Chronic fatigue- to the extent that I f eel equally fatigued after 10-12 hrs of sleep per night. My energy has just gone down and I cant concentrate on anything. I do anything and start experiencing a brain fag and fogginess. I believe my mental fatigue is much more severe than physical fatigue. How can I still continue to exhibit so much fatigue when I really REALLY dont think abt HIV and the anxiety caused by having caught HIV has gone down considerably over the last 2 years? Could stress I went through over the first 2 years post exposure result in permanent fatigue, even after the last couple of years having spent in comparatively less stress?
I feel so mentally tired even while writing this mail. My eyes are heavy and when I close my eyes, I can feel a really heavy head and tremendous mental fatigue. A perceptible sign of this is constant yawning I do throughout the day, which doesnt really symbolize my feeling sleepy.
(B) constant itching in genitals, anus and chest- I have been experiencing persistent itching in my testicals and anus from the last 4 years. I have used multiple OTC creams but to no effect. The local dermatologist told me its a typical fungal infection and should go with a cream her recommended (Zole-F). It did bring in some relive, but the itching again resurfaces 10-15 days after stopping to apply the cream. Over the last 1 year, i have been feeling constant itching on my chest, especially after waking up in the morning. I see that the area has gone red and there are rashes. No relieve from this as well.
I have read it in a lot of places that constant fungal infection is a sign of HIV. If I dont have this god damn virus, then why dont my itching disappear. I have never had such problems in my life ever!
Please help me guys. Has anyone of you experienced mental fatigue to such an extent due to stress/anxiety and is there SOMETHING that can help me cure this!
There are plenty more smaller symptoms like lump on my hand (slightly above my wrist) on both hands, muscle cramps even upon slightest physical exertion, body going hot after exertion, etc.