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Avatar universal

Extremely Anxious unprotected oral, protected vaginal

Hello greetings to everyone in this community, I have several doubts about HIV transmission, for almost 3 years I have been distressed by a situation that I will describe in steps:

1 I am a heterosexual guy, I had sex with a girl I met on Badoo on July 17, 2019, I was a virgin before that, I was 32 years old at the time, it was me who asked her to do it we had talked a few months ago and she said she liked it so we met that day.

2 we met in a motel that day, we had oral sex, she to me without protection and I to her without protection, but the vaginal sex was with protection we used 2 condoms, not at the same time, one first, we rested and the other after, they were 2 rounds, the condoms never broke but I ejaculated 2 times in each one, (I am one of those who do not lose erection easily, I know this should not be done, but the condoms always covered the head of my penis and never broke I took them off myself and threw them away).

3 we had planned to be a couple but things didn't work out, she got angry and here comes my fear, in January 2019 she was raped and her phone was stolen she told me a drug addict, then I ask her if she is sick of something, she tells me no, she even shows me her electrochemiluminescence test from a private lab, which was done in April (3 months after assault) negative to HIV 1 and 2 for antibody and antigen and negative to Syphilis, I know the tests can be falsified but she was scary to tell me before sexual intercourse, she insisted she had nothing we got angry and blocked each other.

4 about 3 weeks later (August 2019) my tongue started to burn with no signs of anything, for about 15 days, the truth I have not been tested for anything in 3 years, the pain subsided but some time later I got a geographic tongue like a red spots with white edges that appear in certain places some move others are in the same place at the tip, there are days that dawns well or bad, usually reduced with brushing, 3 years later I still have this symptom, if I put hydrogen peroxide I clean my tongue better, is this a symptom of HIV I've read erythematous candidiasis is an early symptom of hiv, I was very scared.

5 In June 2021 I get diabetes, I am luckily controlled and feel good, I have lost weight with diet exercise and Metformin plus glimeperide and telmisartan, can HIV trigger diabetes more easily?

6 I have read that cunnilingus does not spread HIV, that puts my mind at ease, could it be that by ejaculating 2 times (4 in total) the semen leaked a little to the side and through her vaginal fluids HIV entered?

7 Please don't scold me, I am a lonely person, I have never had a partner and when I could, I had that fear that I still have, so far this year I got sick with covid omicron in January and a cold last month, my defenses are low....

7 I am very anxious and stressed, the doctor told me that my inactivity plus my previous weight (I weighed 118 kg) and diet plus the stress of the pandemic triggered my diabetes.

8 Was I or was I not at risk of contracting HIV, with that one encounter? My tongue was in her vagina 2 minutes or less and the condoms never broke, can I trust her negative result? I am very afraid I don't dare to get tested, I have not had any more sexual encounters since that day, I never did it without a condom.

Greetings and thanks for reading, I need peace of mind.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
That's an epic story with too many irrelevant details for me to bother reading so I summarized it.

Your situation involves personal contact with an object in air  (mouth, vagina etc. ). You will be happy to learn that you had no risk, because you can't get hiv from personal contact except unprotected penetrating vaginal or anal with a penis, neither of which you did and you didn't share hollow needles to inject with which is the only other way to acquire hiv - there are ONLY 3 ways to get hiv. Analysis of large numbers of infected people over the 40 years of hiv history has proven that people don't get hiv in the way you are worried is a risk.
HIV is a fragile virus in air or saliva and is effectively instantly dead in either air or saliva so the WORST that could happen is dead virus rubbed you, and obviously anything which is dead cannot live again so you are good. Blood and cuts would not be relevant in your situation since the hiv has become effectively dead, so you don't have to worry about them to be sure that you are safe.
There is no reason for a person to test when they are safe. The advice took into consideration that the other person might be positive, so move on and enjoy life instead of thinking about this non-event. hiv prevention is straightforward since there are only 3 ways you can become infected, so next time you wonder if you had a risk, ask yourself this QUESTION. "Did I do any of the 3?" Then after you say "No, I didn't" you will know that it's time to move on back to your happy life.
No one got hiv from what you did during 40 years of hiv history and no one will get it in the next 40 years of your life either.  You can do what you did any time and be safe from hiv.
The other person's status is irrelevant when you have no exposure to live virus.
You can't get hiv when you use a condom.
Disease doesn't follow a schedule so none of your other diseases are relevant even if you had an hiv risk - which you didn't.
1 Comments
Thank you very much, I was worried about cunnilingus and having ejaculated 2 times in each condom, I thought that the semen came out through the base and his vaginal fluids had entered until reaching my glans (with the condom on), now I feel safer and I am calmer, I thank you very much for the information and I recognize the great work you do.
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3191940 tn?1717500602
COMMUNITY LEADER
We are volunteers who answer questions in our spare time.  I am NOT going to read all of that.  It is not necessary.

The only risks for HIV in adults are:
1) Having unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or
2) sharing intravenous needles with IV drug users.

If you do not engage in one of the two activities I listed above, you will never have to worry about HIV.
Helpful - 1
1 Comments
Hello, thank you very much, an apology for writing a lot of information, I even repeated point 7 twice, LOL my nerves are at that level, thanks for clarifying the forms of contagion, greetings and continue like this, now I can forget about the problem of HIV.
Avatar universal
Additional details:

The girl in 2019 was 34 years old, she is not a sex worker, she was sexually assaulted when she worked in a pharmacy, and I must clarify that I know that ejaculating twice in the same condom was wrong of me but it was my first time having sex, for I'm not sure if the semen ended up coming out a little at the base of the penis but it could, what I'm sure of is that they never broke (they were condoms bought at the pharmacy half an hour before the meeting) the girl had similar tastes to mine , she likes cartoons and always was very polite and she didn't have a partner, maybe she lied to me but I'll never know, sorry if I forget these details.
Helpful - 0
2 Comments
I have no idea why you are adding all these irrelevant details. Below is all you have to do.

I told you above "next time you wonder if you had a risk, ask yourself this QUESTION. ...."
Since you didn't answer the QUESTION I will do it for you. >>>>>>>>>> ANSWER No there wasn't a penis in my anus and mine wasn't in anyone's vagina or anus and she didn't inject me with a hollow needle so I had no risk and should move on from hiv.

Don't worry, I understand, but my penis if it was in her vagina, of course with condoms, the head of the penis always covered, they never broke or came out, an apology for the additional information, I feel calmer now, now besides that I learned a lesson in my life, I am informed about the ways of contagion, thank you and sorry for the inconvenience again (^~^;)

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