Guilt, Anxiety and Depression-Please Help Me

[crisptito]

Over the past few days I have been struggling to come to grips with a potential exposure that I had on 4/10. Here is my background. I am a heterosexual 31 year old male, with a healthy lifestyle. I have a girlfriend of a year and a half, and have not had very much sexual experience before her. I was a virgin until I met her. Before my gf, I had only received and performed oral on one other girl. I have been faithful to my gf until the night of 4/10.

On 4/10, I was on a bachelor party trip with some friends where I became extremely intoxicated. To the point where I don't remember much of the night. Our group ended up having two girls come to our condo to dance/strip/perform for us. I suspect that these girls were in fact escorts. After a while of dancing and drinking, I ended up sucking on one of the girls nipples and rubbing her genitals with my finger. She then took me upstairs and performed unprotected oral sex on me, with ejaculation in her mouth.

On 4/13, I began to feel tired and started running a small (99.4) fever. My throat also started having discomfort when I swallowed. Yesterday, 4/16, I noticed I had small white spots on my tonsils. I went to the doctor and came back negative for strep, and he diagnosed me with pharyngitis. He prescribed a z-pack which I started on 4/16.

I have been struggling with guilt and depression about this happening and cheating on my girlfriend. I have also been filled with anxiety since I have been reading a lot on the internet and the symptoms I have are all in line with HIV. So, my questions are:

1. Does the exposure I had put me at risk for HIV, and if so how bad is it?
2. If I was exposed to HIV, would the symptoms come on this fast?
3. Should I be worried about being with my girlfriend?

This is one of the hardest things that I have ever been through. I have come to appreciate all that I have and this will never happen again. I just hope that this one time lapse in judgement has not cost me my health and the relationship with the woman I plan to marry. Please help me.

[LIZZIE LOU]

oh so you have the dreaded google-itis???   you and everyone else on here :)

relax...you've been to the doctor and diagnosed.  GET OFF THE INTERNET SEARCHING FOR SYMPTOMS...

you do not have hiv...no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

[crisptito]

Thanks Lizzie. I am a victim of the internet. Maybe I have google-itis? Anyway, its just weird that I have never had a cold like this before. No sinus drainage, no congestion, no cough, energy level seems fine. Just the mild sore throat, tender neck, slight fever, lack of appetite and some fatigue in the onset. I was going to the gym yesterday if I hadn't had seen those white spots on my tonsils. To tell you the truth I was praying for a strep diagnosis.

[LIZZIE LOU]

have you never had a cold before now?  a coincidence indeed :)

doesnt matter where she was from.

you do NOT have a hiv concern.  a little guilt...but not hiv.  

[crisptito]

Thank you for the reply. I guess that it is coincidence I would have these symptoms so close to this event? I also neglected to mention that the girl in question was of Asian descent. Would that matter? Don't know if she was born in US, but I do remember a strong accent.

[LIZZIE LOU]

1.  no
2.  no
3.  no

nothing you are describing put you at risk for hiv.