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HIV Anxiety...

Just a post to remind everyone how the mind works...

My recent "exposure" includes receiving unprotected oral sex from a woman of unknown HIV status in October of 2006.  Before that, my last unprotected sexual encounters were over two years ago.  

I am married and the most recent episode is one where I made the horrible decision to cheat on my wife.  I was tested at 10 weeks and 11 weeks after the encounter at my doctor's office and both times it came back negative.  The doctor didn't even think it was necessary to test.  I was sure that the results would re-assure me and let me move forward with my life, but then came this weekend.

My wife started with a dry cough (that lasted all weekend) and has also been having re-occuring yeast infections.  Like an idiot I looked online, and wouldn't you know it?  Re-occuring yeast infections could very well be a sign of HIV.  Now my mind is in a tailspin and I struggled to even get out of bed this morning thinking that I infected her.

I have it set in my mind now that not only are my two negative tests not conclusive, but the nurse may have mislabelled my blood samples.  I told you that the mind was a crazy thing.

As I have mentioned in a previous post, I am also coping with the suicide of my best friend at the moment and this may be making me a little more irrational than normal.  Any feedback would be appreciated as long as your name isn't "Dr. Leigh".

Thanks Everyone.  You have all been a great source of support during a very trying time.

4 Responses
Avatar universal
Hi Anxious76,

Take a deep breath and concentrate on the facts.... Don't worry about other possibilities (ie. the likelihood of a nurse mixing up 2 blood tests must be unbelievably low) - those are just tricks of the mind. Unprotected oral sex is incredibly low risk and arguably no risk. You tested negative at both 10 and 11 weeks. Combining those 2 events, we are already talking about at least a 1 in 10 million chance of being HIV+. Just think about it - that's like trying to pick a single person out in a major city like London or New York from space!! You are more likely to win the lottery.

You are HIV negative and if you are HIV negative, you cannot have given it to your wife. Her dry cough is nothing more than that - a cough, from a much more common, standard bug. Yeast infections occur in healthy people for many reasons that are much more likely than HIV (an impossibility if you are HIV negative).

I think the other things in your life are causing you to obsess about HIV. We talked briefly before. I lost my Uncle and also cheated on my wife and have a burden of guilt that is impacting on my thinking. I feel it even impacted on why I cheated in the first place, because I hadn't dealt with any of the grief. Look at the sources of why you are being so hard on yourself. The bottom line is that you are HIV negative and your tests prove it.

Take care and stay well.
Avatar universal
Hey dude,
You are HIV negative. It's as simple as that. See someone about the anxiety and guilt. Remember these feelings can be far more detrimental to your health.
Don't be so hard on yourself:)
Avatar universal
WorriedT is correct.

You have tested HIV-.

Your wife's symptoms are not suggestive of HIV (dry cough plus yeast infections ONLY does not a likely HIV diagnosis make). If the yeast infections become an issue, your wife should see her OB/GYN, but HIV is NOT a concern.
Avatar universal
Thanks Guys:

I went to see a therapist last week and I was put on some anxiety medication to help me through this.  She also thinks that I need to look at the facts and not the "what-ifs".  She isn't the first person to tell me this and I agree that it is highly unlikely that my doctor's office screwed up the labelling on my blood work.  Just another game going on in my mind, that's all.

It is definitely reassuring to see that so many other people think the same way.  I am beginning to think that HIV Anxiety is a disease in itself as you can clearly see the number of people that it affects by reading this forum.

I appreciate you taking the time to write to me and hope that you are dealing with this better than I am.

All the best.

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