Avatar universal

HIV Risk / Suspect Broken Condom / Please Assess

Dear doctors,

It’s gonna be a bit lengthy so please bear with me. Want to make sure I can paint a fuller picture on the situation with a casual sex worker, from a brothel (looks dodgy though).

what happened -
1. Showered and then engaged with unprotected oral (2 - 4 licks at the tip where the csw wiped with wet tissue before). I stopped that immediately. no kissing at all.

2. Proceed to put on condom (supplied myself) and proceed to vaginal. Halfway, I felt my penis has gone limp (under influence of alcohol as well) and then pulled it out. Realised the condom got a bit weared out (as she’s really dry and use lube throughout). Not sure if the condom slipped / broke but the top cover part is not aligned with the penis. We immediately changed and finish the deed within the next 20 seconds.

the part where all this drama (anxiety) started is as follows:

this is during the condom change before finishing the deed, I don’t know if the condom broke or not —

1. Felt a “change” in sensation as i was going 90% erect to about 50% — felt more like losing sensation, loss sensitivity.

2. Took out and saw the condom head is not aligned with the penis head. Looked like the condom tip is on the left side (flat) while the penis head is on the right side (at the middle). Losing erection will surely cause the penis to not fully fit the condom right? I did try to poke my penis head directly check but it didn’t feel any different.

The base was still intact and did not shred to pieces (was told condom will shred dramatically but this didn’t happen). I really can’t recall if it’s broken or not. I did take it on my hand to inspect, it’s still in one piece (soggy/wrinkly) but I failed to check thoroughly to see if there’s any smaller holes / lesion around the tip area which could have jeopardise me.

The fact that she’s really dry (used lube every now and then) also makes me worry as I know this will increase breakage.

The sex wasn’t rough and the first condom was used for about 10 minutes before we changed.

3. Upon pulling out, the csw said “here’s a new one” has me questioning whether is it broken or not. If it’s not broken, why would she say “here’s a new one” instead of “let’s change to a new one”

4. Once changed, continued on for 10-15 sec and finished outside, I saw the sperm flowed into the condom.

In your opinion, did the first condom break? And what’s my risk... I’m really anxious.

Since the incident, I’ve been on PEP (18 hours) and can’t wait to finish. The waiting is also eating me up.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
I meant dear all*
20620809 tn?1504362969
It really does not sound like the condom broke.  And the head was covered. That's all that needs to be covered.  I'm not sure why a doctor went ahead and gave you pep for this.  Oral, since you mention it as part of your exposure is not a risk.  The only risks are unprotected vaginal or anal penetrating sex (head is what needs to be covered) or sharing IV drug needles.  The condom shifting would not compromise your safety.  I think you are over reacting bit and the PEP was not necessary.  
Thanks for your reply & attention.

It was my first time visiting and hence the guilt, shame and anxiety all hit me hard especially the first few days.

Biggest thing is me failing to confirm, which brought me here now — Went to the doctor the next afternoon and I was really distress. She prescribed the PEP (Truvada & Tivicay), probably to ease my stress and also the fact that I’m unsure if the condom broke.

I did feel a change in sensation as I was losing my erection and that’s when I pulled out. But because there’s 2 things happening the same time —  I don’t know if this is where (and if) the condom may have broke.

The CSW saw when I pulled out, didn’t look surprised and just quickly told me to change a new one as the old one looks wrinkly / soggy.

While changing for a new one, I picked up the old one (from the base) and it looks intact.

In your opinion/experience, is it possible for condoms to break subtly? She was really dry too.
Avatar universal
Would just like to add this & see if it’s any different.

Every now and then i try to bring myself back to that instance -- i know its not reliable as its the past.

Anxiety is acting where I just have a fear that the condom was indeed broken (but not shreded completely) and hence her asking to change a new one immediately after I pulled out.

what i clearly remember is --
- i went half erect (penis was a bit sore at that time)

-pulled out & saw the soggy condom that i couldnt fully fit

- she then quickly go "here here a new one"

if its not broken, you think her reaction would be so quick?

I know I’m dealing with a lot of what-ifs but do appreciate any feedback at all.
188761 tn?1584567620
Condoms don't break when the penis is flaccid.

For latex to break, there has to be substantial amount of friction generated which a flaccid penis is incapable of.

Condom slippage due to flaccid penis is almost always not an exposure because the tip of the penis remains protected and it's incapable of unprotected penetration thereafter.

You rightly reckon that you are being anxious about this incident, you don't have a risk to worry about, all the factors that you are describing seems result of your anxiety and it needs attention of a counselor at the soonest. We hope you reach out for the help you need to get over this. You don't have an HIV concern, you don't need to test.
Avatar universal
Hi Mike,

Thank you for your feedback. Yes anxiety has gotten the better of me in this situation.

I will definitely visit a professional to help cope my anxiety once I’ve tested.

Everyone says i’ll feel a change in sensation if it breaks. I pulled out cause I felt sore (my change of sensation) and I think anxiety is making me question if it’s a broken condom instead.

These are fresh condoms (Durex Extra Safe) which we got on an air-conditioned shop just before visiting.

For peace of mind, I’ll definitely get tested after 28 days.

Just to clarify on the PEP which I know now is highly unnecessary - I went to the doctor the next day after the incident in distressed, which is why she prescribed it (as well as I told her I’m not sure if condom broke) / or maybe preying on my anxiety.
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