I'm writing from the Philippines. I know my question may have been asked a million times before but I want to get a first hand assessment of my potential risk with HIV based from the series of events that acquired during that night. I was firm to believe that oral sex is safe - up until I read some articles on the internet. Some websites say it's low-risk. Some say it is moderate risk. I do not know which claim is more true than the other
So how this is my last sexual encounter went:
- So I met this guy, he's 22 from a gay social networking app (I'm a male homsexual by the way).
- I did brush my teeth lightly for hygiene reasons (you don't want your partner to say something about your oral hygiene). I would like to believe that I my oral health is good. As per my dentist, any sore/cut/wound in my mouth should be painful. Things that I did not feel at the time.
- When I arrived at his place, he had a partner (making us a threesome) who was with us in doing the act.
- We basically did give and receive oral sex. No anal sex was done as I know this is the riskiest sex act. Regardless if the guy is wearing protection or not.
- One of the two guys did finger me.
- The whole act last around 30 - 40 minutes although neither of us were sucking each other's thing the whole time we were together.
- As a general rule, I do not let guys ejaculate in my mouth. So this applies to this particular act as well. My best sexual fluid exposure on my mouth is his pre-ejaculate (which is known to be infectious as well) which I'm not sure if I got exposed to since I do not know how it tastes, if it has any. Even if I did got exposed to his pre-ejaculate, I believe I have swallowed it as it took quite some time before he finally came.
- After I last "blew" him, he ejaculated 5-10 minutes after through masturbation. He "unleashed" it in my legs or in my chest.
- About a minute or two, I gargled water as I do not like the sensation after giving the act.
- We had a small talk after the deed. I was kind of hesitant to believe that he was negative although that's what he did told me. Aside from that, he told me that what we did was a low-risk activity.
Now for my questions:
- Let' say he was indeed positive, what are the chances of him passing the virus on this one time incident?
- From what I have read over at the internet, saliva has a capability to deactivate the virus once any fluid comes contact to it. Is this accurate? Does brushing one's teeth lessen this saliva's capability?
- Is pre-cum just as infectious as semen or blood?
- Would brushing my teeth before or after the act really create cuts/bleeds deep enough that some pre-cum may come in contact with my bloodstream?
- What about deep throat oral sex. What are the risks say he had pre-ejaculate if I was doing it to him?
- Let's also assume that he had a soaring viral load, will this affect my chances? Again, some websites argue that the higher the VL, the higher the risk one is exposed to.
- What are your thoughts about fingering. Is this safer than say, oral and anal sex?
- Here in the Philippines, we have Rapid ICT for testing. How conclusive is it on 6, 8, 10, 12 weeks of testing? Should I be tested after 12 weeks for it to be definitely conclusive or 12 weeks is more than enough?
Forgive me for the long and very detailed post as I want to cover as much facts and questions as I can in one post.
I know that the only way to know my status is to get tested. It was only been six weeks since the act happened and my anxiety has been killing me to death regarding this incident. I do not want to be the first person documented to have contracted the disease through oral sex. :(
Your answers would be of great help to me.