Aa
HIV anxiety over kissing/hand job
Hello, first of all, thank you to all who help on this forum. I am a bit paranoid and anxious about an encounter I had last week. I took a woman home after a night full of drinks. We did not have sex as she was on her period. I only took her shirt off and sucked on her breasts quite a bit as well as heavy kissing and dry humping for quite a while ( I don't have the exact time). She did go to the bathroom a couple of times. I'm assuming she went to change her tampon, etc. The reason I am worried is because she did give me a handjob and I'm unsure if she washed her hands after using the restroom/changing her tampon. My concern is that she could have had blood on her hands/fingers from changing it, and I am at risk because she gave me a handjob afterwards. Also, I know she had a bruise on her lip in the morning. She told me she bruises easily, but I immediately got worried that what if somehow that bruise was caused by some kind of trauma from our heavy kissing and that she could have been bleeding while we kissed and I didn't notice it. I am extremely worried that her blood got into my mouth. It was quite a large bruise so I'm worried that it could have been a large amount but I don't remember tasting anything. Maybe my concerns are absurd and unwarranted, but I wanted to reach out and hopefully get an answer to put my mind at ease. Was I at risk and do I need to get tested for anything?
Thank you,
FHM
Thank you,
FHM
Your situation involves personal contact with an object in air ( finger, mouth, maybe blood, maybe blood etc. ). You will be happy to learn that you had no risk, because you can't get hiv from personal contact except unprotected penetrating vaginal or anal with a penis, neither of which you did and you didn't share hollow needles to inject with which is the only other way to acquire hiv - there are ONLY 3 ways to get hiv. Note that 2 of them require a penis and the third requires a hollow injecting shared needle - there are no OTHER ways to get hiv. Analysis of large numbers of infected people over the 40 years of hiv history has proven that people don't get hiv in the way you are worried is a risk.
Hiv is a fragile virus in air or saliva and is effectively instantly dead in either air or saliva so the WORST that could happen is dead virus rubbed you, and obviously anything which is dead cannot live again so you are good. Blood and cuts would not be relevant in your situation since the hiv has become effectively dead, so you don't have to worry about them to be sure that you are safe.
There is no reason for a person to test when they are safe. The advice took into consideration that the other person might be positive, so move on and enjoy life instead of thinking about this non-event. hiv prevention is straightforward since there are only 3 ways you can become infected, so next time you wonder if you had a risk, ask yourself this QUESTION. "Did I do any of the 3?" Then after you say "No, I didn't" you will know that it's time to move on back to your happy life.
No one got hiv from what you did during 40 years of hiv history and no one will get it in the next 40 years of your life either. You can do what you did any time and be safe from hiv.
The other person's status is irrelevant when you have no exposure to live virus.
hiv is not like COvid that is alive in air and surfaces.
Hiv is a fragile virus in air or saliva and is effectively instantly dead in either air or saliva so the WORST that could happen is dead virus rubbed you, and obviously anything which is dead cannot live again so you are good. Blood and cuts would not be relevant in your situation since the hiv has become effectively dead, so you don't have to worry about them to be sure that you are safe.
There is no reason for a person to test when they are safe. The advice took into consideration that the other person might be positive, so move on and enjoy life instead of thinking about this non-event. hiv prevention is straightforward since there are only 3 ways you can become infected, so next time you wonder if you had a risk, ask yourself this QUESTION. "Did I do any of the 3?" Then after you say "No, I didn't" you will know that it's time to move on back to your happy life.
No one got hiv from what you did during 40 years of hiv history and no one will get it in the next 40 years of your life either. You can do what you did any time and be safe from hiv.
The other person's status is irrelevant when you have no exposure to live virus.
hiv is not like COvid that is alive in air and surfaces.
4 Comments
Thank you for your reply. I understand I may be letting my anxiety get the best of me, but in the case there was blood present, how much would it take to become infected? She showed me the bruise on her lip and it was quite large, so I'm afraid I bit her and didn't realize it. I know this woman has slept with various people and has not always used protection, but I do not know her status.
My fiance and I had a slight falling out prior to this event and I don't want to expose her to anything if there was some kind of risk. I have been avoiding her kisses this week because I feel ashamed for my actions and I'm mad at myself for letting myself get into this situation. I understand air and saliva kill the virus, but if lips are touching and there are open wounds, then can't the virus infect one person or the other? Isn't there a point where the concentration of blood is greater than the saliva and no air is present during a deep French kiss so infection would be possible? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to my fiance because of my mistake.
I don't want to be a pest on this subject, but I would appreciate more specific feedback relative to my experience. I greatly appreciate the time anyone takes to respond and hopefully put my mind at ease. Thank you so much in advance.
-FHM
My fiance and I had a slight falling out prior to this event and I don't want to expose her to anything if there was some kind of risk. I have been avoiding her kisses this week because I feel ashamed for my actions and I'm mad at myself for letting myself get into this situation. I understand air and saliva kill the virus, but if lips are touching and there are open wounds, then can't the virus infect one person or the other? Isn't there a point where the concentration of blood is greater than the saliva and no air is present during a deep French kiss so infection would be possible? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to my fiance because of my mistake.
I don't want to be a pest on this subject, but I would appreciate more specific feedback relative to my experience. I greatly appreciate the time anyone takes to respond and hopefully put my mind at ease. Thank you so much in advance.
-FHM
You are just repeating what you said in your original post, and I am sure AnxiousNoMore read your post before responding.
The only risks for HIV in adults are:
1) Having unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or
2) sharing intravenous needles with IV drug users.
There isn't any other situation that you can think of that would put you at risk for HIV. You cannot get HIV from someone's hands, or ANY objects or surfaces - EVEN IF the objects or hands have blood or bodily fluid on them. Handjobs are zero risk for HIV or any STDs. As you can see from the risks I listed above, none of the other events you described were a risk either.
There is no "what if" that you can add to this event that would make it a risk for HIV - you had zero risk, and you don't need a test.
The only risks for HIV in adults are:
1) Having unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or
2) sharing intravenous needles with IV drug users.
There isn't any other situation that you can think of that would put you at risk for HIV. You cannot get HIV from someone's hands, or ANY objects or surfaces - EVEN IF the objects or hands have blood or bodily fluid on them. Handjobs are zero risk for HIV or any STDs. As you can see from the risks I listed above, none of the other events you described were a risk either.
There is no "what if" that you can add to this event that would make it a risk for HIV - you had zero risk, and you don't need a test.
CurfewX--Understood. Thank you for your answer and also for all the help you provide to others.
If there is a next time that worries you, reread the advice and answer the QUESTION above so you can move on.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
