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Avatar universal


I have been dating the same woman (woman A) for a years. Our sexual contact has always been exclusively unprotected oral sex. While I do ejaculate in her mouth, she has never swallowed. She says she's a virgin, and I believe her.

I tested negative for HIV while giving blood in October 2007.

Since then I have become sexually involved with another woman (woman B) as well.
The sex has been unprotected and includes vaginal, oral & anal. Woman B says she tested negative for HIV in August 2007, and has not engaged in any risky behavior, such as sex without a condom since, before getting involved with me.

I am currently involved with both women.

Early after beginning my relationship with woman B, I received oral sex from woman A. About a week later, she had a horrible sore throat, with white marks on her tonsils, and she was generally just really sick. She sought medical help, but because I am not as forthcoming as I could be, she didn't test for HIV. She was prescribed an antibiotic (I don't know which). One of the possible side effects of this drug was hives, which she ended up getting I think a few days after starting. She was switched to a different antiotic, and the problem went away.

Later woman A performed oral sex on me without incident. Weeks later, she performed oral sex on me again, and few days later had a sore throat (not nearly as severe) and she noticed a white spot on one of her tonsils. This seems to have gone away on its own after a day.

I don't know if the timing of this is coincidental or what.

Is HIV the cause of this?
37 Responses
Avatar universal
My humble opinion,

You have engaged in risky behaviour (unprotected vaginal and anal) with B and you are concerned about passing it to A.

The risk associated with oral sex is none, so A should be fine.

As per B, she told you she is HIV free and has not engaged in risky behaviour.

If your worries are regarding A, then give your mind a rest. Could be anything else.

Avatar universal
You put her at risk for STDs, then you want to ask us if it is HIV? All of you go test together. Keep your ****** in your pants until you are tested.
Avatar universal
Thanks for the quick response. While I'm pulling my hair out quite a bit les, I'm still quite concerned.

I'll tell you why, and hopefully you can address these issues as well.

I'd heard the transmission possibilities via oral are SLIM, but not ZERO.

Also, while I do not have intercourse with woman A, there is no real precaution to make sure our genitals don't come in contact. I'm CERTAIN I've handled my own penis and then handled her vagina and vice versa.

Any thoughts?
Avatar universal
The moral thing to do is what Teak said.

Via oral there has not been a documented case.

Although your behavior with A doesn't put her at risk for hiv, there are still other std's to be concerned about.

366749 tn?1544698865
Very precise and wonderful reply from Teak. Man ! You engaged yourself in a risky behavior through unprotected vaginal and anal sex, with woman B and without feeling your moral responsibility, you continued with woman A. Since you, yourself are not clear about status of your own, poor woman A is exposed to a potential risk of STD only because of you.

Also, please note that there is a slight possibility of a female contracting HIV, via performing oral on a man, when ejaculation is involved (which was, as you mentioned), oral is zero risk behavior for receiving males but not for performing females.
Avatar universal
Thanks. I appreciate everybody's input.

And Teak, make no mistake. I'm not here crying foul, like I may have gotten screwed in this deal. Or as if I didn't put woman A at risk.

Any ill health that comes from this for me or Woman A is my fault.


Just because something is my fault doesn't make me any less concerned.

Again, Thanks.
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