Avatar universal

Had Sex with Crossdresser. Worried I have HIV.

I had sex with a Crossdresser I met through an online app. This was the first time I've ever had sex. I'm a 24 year old male btw. We had sex on July 1st, 2018. She mostly gave me unprotected oral. I then was the insertive partner when we had protected anal sex. I laid on the bed and she got on my penis which already had a condom on it. After we were done, I pulled out my penis and the condom seemed to get stuck inside her anus. She assured me that she was clean and HIV negative. She lived in a really nice house btw. Now 1 month later, I have began worrying about having HIV because I started to feel like I have a slight sore throat and my body started to feel weird 2 weeks after we had sex. I have always suffered from anxiety and depression even though I've never been diagnosed. So it might just be that combined with being worried I have HIV. I got HIV tested on August 1st and it came back negative. What are my risks? And is a negative HIV test 6 weeks after exposure a good sign?
2 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Only the head of your penis needs to be protected so when you pulled out was the head still protected inside the condom that was stuck inside her? What kind of test did you do?
Helpful - 0
When I pulled out, my penis was entirely exposed. I did the antibody test where they poke your finger for blood. My penis is small. That's probably why the condom came off when I pulled out. She was also really lubed. So Idk
You have to find if they did a duo test because that is conclusive after 4 weeks. Any other test takes 12 weeks.
The person told me in 3 months I would get a conclusive answer. But If I test at 6 weeks and it comes back negative. Should I be more confident that I don't have HIV? The CD said she was negative though.
Testing early proves nothing so there is no purpose working through the anxiety that will occur waiting for the result of a useless test. You can take a duo test now for a conclusive result though.
Likely she is neg, if she uses a condom propertly every time.
When we had anal sex, the condom was on my penis 99% of the time. I think I was exposed for about 10 seconds when I came and pulled out. But if she is negative to begin with, can I still get HIV even though she is negative?
Did you just ask if you can still get HIV even if she is negative?  Think about it.  Would that seem possible to you?  You are beginning to be irrational because of anxiety.  OF COURSE NOT is the answer to whether someone that does NOT have HIV can give you HIV.  
20620809 tn?1504362969
You are getting a little over the top.  First, if your penis was exposed, you STILL had a very low risk as a one time exposure is low risk.  You are about at the 1% range.  Second, your penis may have been covered inside and only looked uncovered when you pulled out.  Between those two things, you have to get control of your anxiety.  You can ask for a 4th generation DUO test and you'd have a conclusive answer today.  There has to be clinics or doctors near you that you can get that test.  you may have already had it.  CALL and ask what test you took.  Worrying for nothing solves nothing.  AND, doctors do NOT use symptoms to diagnose symptoms.  Only a test.  So, find out what test you took, realize your risk is low and keep your head together about this!  
Helpful - 0
Just curious. How long does it take for esophageal thrush to develop in a person that has HIV?
You should stop over-examining your body looking for clues because that will just lead to more anxiety.
Symptoms can't be used to diagnose because of multiple possibilities, and only test results will provide a conclusive answer - trying to work with probabilities less than conclusive will not get you any useful answers.
I understand. Would an 8 week antibody test give me a good indication of my HIV status?
A test is either conclusive or it is a waste of time as I tried to explain above. Antibody needs 3 months to be conclusive.
It won't be considered conclusive, but an 8-week result is highly unlikely to change at 12 weeks.
My symptoms.

-4 days after the exposure, I was diagnosed with mild balanitis due to candida on my penis. It went away within 2 days.

-10 days after the exposure, I developed a white tongue. But I think I had that before the exposure. I also developed a mild sore throat which I still have til this day.

-17 days after the exposure, I woke up with nausea and went outside to do yard work and felt like I had a mild fever and started sweating easier than I usually do. It went away in the next few hours.

-Since then I have felt nausea and numbness/fatigue with excessive sweating on and off through the days. Also, my penis seems to be always wet. I don't know if it's pre-*** or clear watery discharge. There is a weird smell.

- 33 days after exposure, I was diagnosed with mild oral thrush. I have been taking Nystatin and I don't think it is working.

- 37 days after exposure which is today. I still feel the minor sore throat which still won't go away. And the Nystatin doesn't seem to have an effect on me.

The reason I am worried that I have acquired HIV is because I have never had anything wrong with my penis prior to the exposure. Nor have I ever felt this way prior to the exposure. I have never been diagnosed with Candida overgrowth in any part of my body. I don't know if the sore throat that won't go away is due to me developing esophageal thrush. Which I read is common among people with HIV. I might be overdoing it. But I think there is valid reason to be concerned. Especially with the exposure being high risk.
No one here will comment on symptoms.  Every single person who comes here thinks they have symptoms of HIV, whether they have had a risk or not.  I've been here for over 6 years and only 2 people have tested positive after an event, and neither had symptoms.  The other 99.9% didn't actually have HIV at all, and symptoms were due to anxiety or other non-HIV reasons.  THAT is why we don't talk about symptoms.  

Also, if you had symptoms, you would be VERY ill.  Like, in bed, not able to get out.  You wouldn't be having a bit here and there.  And also, some of the symptoms you mentioned arrived way too late to be ARS.  Try to relax until you test.
Last question before I just wait for my test.
Doesn't getting Candida/yeast infection from a male mean he is infected with HIV?
Your question is just like all your other symptom questions - not any use. You need to accept that fact and stop wasting your time doing this.
Not even CLOSE to the only reason a person could have Candida.  There are multitude reasons why you can get Candida.  If you try googling it without "HIV" in your search, you will see them all, and they are all a million times more common than HIV.   If you keep googling with "HIV" in your search, that's all you're going to get, and it's not productive.  You should stop Googling immediately, because nothing good will come of it, and given your extremely low risk, it's only going to amplify anxiety for no good reason.
How is it an "extremely low risk"?
A one-time, brief vaginal exposure with someone who is not known to be HIV+ is extraordinarily low risk.   Take the odds that this person was HIV + and multiply those by the odds of getting HIV from a one-time event, and the risk is less than 1/10th of 1%.  That is "extremely low."
Uh. I think you forgot the part where I said I had sex with a CROSSDRESSER. aka. a dude dressed as a girl
No, I did not forget. Being a crossdresser does not automatically make a person at high risk for  being HIV+.  If a crossdresser uses protection regularly, they are no more risk to anyone than someone who is NOT a crossdresser.

When you multiply the factors together, you are still at an extremely low risk.  You used a condom, which likely slipped off on withdrawal, and if that happened, your risk is 0%.  If it did not, multiplying the statistics puts you still at less than 0.1 %.  

If you wish to blow this risk out of proportion, that is your choice, but we're not going to support the notion that you had a significant risk when you did not.
Then why did you say "brief vaginal exposure" in your previous comment?
Mistake - brief anal exposure - IF ANY exposure ever occurred at all.  This is a forum with responses founded on medical and scientific evidence.  Of course you should test, but pretending this was a significant exposure isn't in agreement with statistics and evidence.
When I was about to ***, I could feel every thrust becoming more slippery and moist than the previous. I don't know if that was just the lube opening up the anus or my penis completely exposed. I didn't have my glasses on, so I wasn't sure when the condom flew off my penis while I was thrusting inside her/him or maybe my penis exposed itself when I pulled out after I came and maybe that's how the condom got stuck inside.
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community

Top HIV Answerers
366749 tn?1544695265
Karachi, Pakistan
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.