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1583226 tn?1297770275

Hiv transmission from receiving oral sex

Hi please someone help me with a good knowledge about HIV.

I haven’t had sex for since October 2009 because of my paranoia of being infected. I’ve done many tests since then and I am Negative. On the 28th of January 2011 I received oral sex from a friend, who I thought was clean. She is a Bangladeshi girl who is 18 years old, and I am a Bangladeshi Male aged 23. We were both born and brought up in the UK. Ok back to the story, we were first relaxing cuddling each other and got a little heated. And me not having sex for over a year I was really horny which isn’t good. We was kissing at first and I we was masturbating each other. She how ever was aggressively masturbating my penis and it become really sore specially the tip, I’m circumcised so the tip is really sensitive and I knew it was sore due to her aggressive hand job. Ok so then she wanted to have sex but she said it’s a bad idea since she didn’t have any condoms and I was like no way I’m not having sex with or with out the condom. So she gave me gave me oral sex which was wrong, but I kind of remembered the doctors at the STd clinic mentioning you cant get HIV from receiving oral sex or kissing etc. but how ever after the oral sex I left her house in a good mood because I was a little bit happy if you know what I mean. And I went to the toilet to urinate and I noticed the scabs on the tip of my penis and realised it was from her ring and her aggressive hand job. Although I went on the internet as always and drove my self mad thinking I could have contracted the Virus. I confronted the girl and she got upset that I think she has AIDS, and she said ''look my mouth wasn’t bleeding or anything'', she goes she is healthy and there is no way she has AIDs. But my paranoia doesn’t let me listen to her! She said she doesn’t need testing because she knows she’s clear! She isn’t a girl to **** any one or everyone! But I am still in doubt because I just don’t like chances. She is adamant that she didn’t have any cuts or bleeding gums in her mouth! But then some stupid sites are there saying saliva can transfer the virus and its freaking me out since I have to wait till 28th April 2011 to get tested. She how ever is adamant she is clean! But I do not trust anyone! One does not know if they have HIV so it’s my paranoia. What are the chances of me having HIV from this incident? Would I need testing?

I’m very educated yet my paranoia manipulates my thoughts thinking it’s a punishment from Allah sbt(god).

To be clear I haven’t performed oral on her because I always think every girl has HIV unless she gets tested! In the back of my mind I guess its healthy paranoia! But then I think I have been given so many chances by god why do I do such things!

Please who ever does reply, have the facts because I understand majority of the replying will have misinformed and misguided information! And some may have a sick mind and just write to elevates ones Anxiety. This is a very exhausting paranoia and some may not understand what it feels like. So please do reply quickly as I am going insane! Would I need testing?
16 Responses
Avatar universal
ORAL SEX = NO RISK (With or without sores, cuts, etc.)
FINGERING = NO RISK (With or without sores, cuts, etc.)

Testing is NOT needed at all for the events you have described.

Seek help dealing with your HIV anxiety issues if you can not shake this NO RISK event

Hope this helps
1364665 tn?1291610692
Oral sex is no risk." The docs have BOTH said time and time again in the expert forum that neither of them, in their combined DECADES of being specialists dealing with HIV have EVER seen a case of HIV as a result of oral sex, nor have they READ any convincing cases.  There is a physiological reason for that.  First, the virus isn't present in the saliva, making infection impossible for the receptive partner (the person receiving oral sex).  Secondly, for the person GIVING oral sex, THEIR saliva contains enzymes that inhibit the virus, should they be exposed to infected genital secretions.  Secondly, again, the virus has been exposed to the air and elements, rendering it inactive in an oral situation.  This debate will continue, but again, for anyone worrying about an oral "exposure"...think of the facts.  If it was truly a risk, there would be newly reported cases ALL the time. "

1583226 tn?1297770275
Thank you for your response, and I am at ease reading your comment as you seem like you know a lot about HIV. What concerns me why some sights refer it as a risk and others don’t. It causes so much confusion. Would I need testing at all?

And really sorry for my ignorance but what do you mean by saliva inhibits the virus. Does that mean saliva makes the virus inactive?

thank you
1364665 tn?1291610692
inhibits means prohibits. and yes it helps to make the virus in.active. YOu dont need for any HIV tests.
1583226 tn?1297770275
Thank you tomMulligan. Sorry for asking another question hope this does not annoy you.

As you read my story, you are aware I had sores due to her aggressive hand job. So when she performed oral on me, does her mouth have to be full of blood to overcome the fighting properties of Saliva? Would it matter if there was a tiny amount of blood in her Saliva?

Sorry I do hope you don't find me annoying?
Avatar universal
hi bro you can be very confident about it receiving oral sex isnt a risk and i was told about this by health adivsers at NHS you can talk to a health adviser and i bet they will say the same thing no need to test for HIV maybe they will advise you to test for other STIs but no
certainly not for HIV. You can talk to a health adviser on phone http://www.chelwest.nhs.uk/jhc/ i have been there personally and that is what they told me specifically.
Well i am from London too desi background and i am in a big trouble but much more risky situation than yours my exposure was with an escort altough it was completely protected and i have been tested negative at 4 weeks by DUO test and now i am confused about the reliability of this test. Please wish me luck dude i have made such a big mistake i wish i can get away this time i will never do it again.
Avatar universal
First of all it was a zero risk exposure secondly it is very very very unlikely the girl of this background was infected (considering the statistics of hiv prevalence in UK).  
1583226 tn?1297770275
Dear Friend

Your words along with Toms have provided much calmness to my mind. I have had issue with HIV for years because its a phobia. As you are aware bro that us Desi have to clear! Because it is a taboo subject in our cultures. But its just that I have paranoia. Are you certain that I need not to worry about such incident?

Regarding your issue. I say you have nothing to worry about, because the duo is 98% accurate at four weeks. But even then antibodies quickly develop. Think about it in this sense. The tests are so sensitive that it will pick up Minute amounts of anti bodies! In most countries like australia they wouldn't test anyone if they have already tested negative between 4-6 weeks is considered conclusive.

Please keep in contact would like to help each other through this anxiety.  
Avatar universal
thanks man. For you my advice is to talk to a health adviser on phone or email (preferably on phone as it will give you better assurance). I have been there personally and thats what they told me no risk of HIV from getting a blowjob the lady doctor said it never happens. Honestly speaking they consider men who have sex with men and people of african origin a high risk here in UK as 80 percent of daignoses relate to these two groups here and secondly dude it is very very very unlikely the girl from our background was infected for me it is impossible. Anyhow it doesnt matter for you exposure.
For me i am abit calm after my 4 week duo test. In Uk it is considered between 95-8 percent accurate atleast i talked to a health adviser and told her my exposure which was protected and my 4 weeks test result which i took privately and she said i need some counselling for anxiety for which she told me to get an appointment and said they will not offer any further tests for this exposure.
Avatar universal
Definitely i will keep in touch with you and i will take one more duo test probably at around 6 weeks to move on and probably i will visit a health adviser too at NHS GUM. This was my post in the experts forum http://www.medhelp.org/posts/HIV-Prevention/Best-doctors-in-the-world-please-help-me/show/1431762  you can see all the odds are in my favour and the doctors HHH analysis but still i am a little nervous.
Bro you have put your pic on your profile interesting :D u know how many desis from london come on this website. i am not UK born i am a student here and i have completely lost my track after coming here maybe cultural shock. Whatever happens man i have learnt my lesson i hope in the good way no sex before marriage for me  
1583226 tn?1297770275
You are a very lucky man. MaShaAllah your in the clear. And as I have stated to you earlier. There is no risk on your part. But if you read my risk! I'm in great deal of stress I can't bare anymore that I'm losing it. But after your words and toms. MaShaAllah I have calmed my nerves. I really need to change my life style! Because I've taken so many risks and MaShaAllah they are negative. But I just keep thinking its a punishment for going back to my old wreck full self. I see you sent me a friends request. I will defo confirm it when I got on my comp. What would you think the outcome of my test if I take it?
Avatar universal
bro where are you going to take a test (privately or NHS)? if you are going to a NHS GUM clinic most certainly they are not going to give you a test for HIV if you are going to tell them you were tested before and this was your only exposure. This happenned to me last time as you must have read my first exposure was unprotected blowjob and i was told i dont need an hiv test for this then i went to take it privately and after that i went to west london sexual health center to retake it after some time and they didnt give me a test for HIV but all other tests chlamydia syphillis gannorhea and they sent me to a health adviser (doctor) for counselling and she told me there is no risk of HIV in receiving a blowjob. It never happens thats what she told me. I think you should talk to a health adviser on the phone and see if he advises you for a test my exposure was with an escort even then they didnt offer me a re-test and for you your partner was not from a high risk group.
Yeah this is what is bothering me too after my last exposure i swear i will not do anything silly again but on new year after partying with my crazy friends i dont know why i did this altough this time i made sure everything was protected actually my plan was to have a massage and oral only no penetration but eventually i had 2-3 minutes of protected vaginal sex too. But i am 100 percent sure now after counselling that blowjob isnt a risk for HIV atleast.
When were you last tested and was this your only exposure (oral) after that & how many days have passed ? If this was your only exposure then you dont need to test but  i know we should take a test to move on as i will also re-test at 6-8 weeks.You have been through this anxiety before that is why you are over reacting i guess. This is what happens man i have no idea why i did this again.  
I have just found this & i think this is the best blog for hiv testing by dr jose garcia http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/167465/Whats-the-best-HIV-Test-?personal_page_id=1927312
Avatar universal
Yeah you must be thinking i had two tests for a blowjob and i am telling you its not a risk, the reason is that was my first exposure so i didnt know anything then but after much research and counselling i have concluded blowjob is safe sex for HIV . Oh yeah bro i have found the link again this is the only guide here in UK where they have specifically written receiving oral sex isnt a risk i found it for my previous exposure http://www.tht.org.uk/informationresources/publications/general/understandinghivv5212.pdf
HIV is not usually passed on when:
• a man who does not have HIV receives oral
sex (has it done to him) from someone who
is HIV positive
• a woman receives oral sex (has it done to her)
from someone who is HIV positive

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/STIs/Pages/ExpertAnswers.aspx#HIV
Dr. Patrick French says:
"Providing that you don't have unprotected (without a condom) vaginal or anal sex, it's very unlikely that you'll be at risk of HIV. There's no risk of getting HIV from kissing and touching.

"If you give a man oral sex, there's a small risk of getting HIV, particularly if he comes in your mouth. Some people use condoms (you can get flavoured condoms) for oral sex.

"There's no risk of HIV if a man gives you oral sex."  
i guess this answer was given with reference to gay men but still it is relevant
Avatar universal
Oral sex no matter if giving or receiving is not a risk of HIV transmission.
1583226 tn?1297770275
To Everyone. Thank you for your support. I'm in such stress over this and have thoughts that I am affected. I'm scared to go for the test, and yet I have to for peace of Mind. Teak what concerns me is that I fingered the girl very aggressively. And I I have to scabs on my fingers. I'm really not sure if they where there at the time. But they a very small like I think I scraped by finger in the gym, but I have dry skin issues so put that be an affect and could I contract HIV from that manor? Both appear to be NO RISK, Fingering with CUTS and Receiving a Blowjob which Sores! The sores on my penis appeared because her handjob to me was very aggressive. And I'm scared really scared! And I really don't wanna wait till April 2011 to get tested. I've had chest infection since last sunday is it due to this exposure. But then I remember I was out in the cold two days later after an engagement, could it be due to that? Any little achs and pain shoots up my Anxiety please HELP
1563685 tn?1310405954
They're out of anxiety. You've been told before.
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