I am so scared that I have HIV

Dunnlopez

Hello Doctor,

I have read many of your posts and I have found them very informative. I'll get into my story. I had protected anal sex with a Brazilian woman of unknown status about 5 weeks ago, however we were both intoxicated and I noticed that the condom was inside of her after we were done so basically the sex was unprotected. This is my first time having unprotected sex in my life. I was worried sick and I found out that this woman has been a stripper in the past. We met on the subway in New York and she was very flirty with me and we ended up having intercourse. I was worried about the encounter however I was unaware of post exposure prophylaxis at the time, I should have done more reading about this in my life. I just never thought I would have been possibly exposed to HIV because I always use protection, but this time it failed. Anyway about two and a half weeks later I began to feel ill, malaise, muscle twitching, my pulse felt like it was jumping, not really any headaches, more of a malaise feeling and I didnt want to get out of bed. At first I thought I may have contracted Herpes and so I immediately went to a urologist and he said that I had no herpes or genital warts. I also read online which may or may not be true that one can feel herpes symptoms without an outbreak, the urologist told me that this was false. I thought I got herpes because I was reading about the symptoms and they seemed similar to some of the HIV symptoms and I didnt immediately jump to an HIV possibility. the feeling continued and then I began reading about acute HIV symptoms and I felt like I had a lot of them. My heart rate was high, I had malaise, I didnt really have muscle or joint pains. It was more like muscle twitching all around my body especially in my legs. I smoked some weed and these symptoms were even enhanced and when I was hungover a couple times they got worse too. Some of this seemed Neurological and I know this can occurr during acute infection. I felt confused and depressed even my friends said that I was acting strangely and that I was quiet, normally I am not. I definitely felt something, and i did not feel well. I took my temperature about a week and a half into this awful phase and my temperature was 99.6 or 99.8 degrees. Is that too low to be a fever. Maybe it would have been higher in the early acute stages, I really dont know. I would pace around my apartment because I was thinking I was going through HIV acute. I never threw up or had diarrhea really, maybe a little diarrhea but not severe. I eat a lot of protein so i normally can have some diarrhea. I think I may have had thrush but I have been smoking almost a pack a day since I thought I had HIV so that could have cause my thrush feeling although I did notice white on my tongue and eventually almost brown after I had been smoking so much. Can a flu or other viral infections cause thrush that would make me have all these symptoms as well. I have been so depressed, I have gone out at night less. I have just not felt like me at all, I reall think I have HIV and that I just went through the acute stage.

I did notice dark urine and light colored stools so I suspected possible hepatitis, but i think i have been vaccinated for Hep A and B when I was younger and I know many other things can cause light colored stools and dark urine. I have had no jaundice. I am not sure when I was vaccinated, I am 24 now arent these vaccinations pretty much routine now and I have read that they can last for 15 years or indefinitely. I went to a doctor yesterday for a physical but I told him that I was very concerned about HIV, I have been freaking out everyday and I try to hide it around friends. The first thing he checked for were swollen lymph nodes and the rash and I had no swollen lymph nodes and I never developed an acute HIV rash which he was the most worried about. He happened to specialize in HIV and he said what worried him the most about potential HIV infected people is the rash and swollen lymph nodes, that is what he says seem to be the most blatant symptoms of the people who come in and eventually test positive. The lab was closed after my appointment but I am going in either thursday or Friday for a rapid HIV test. I am so nervous, I cannot get anything done at my job and I think I could get fired from this whole mess. What do you think from what I have told you. I have also had unprotected insertive oral sex with a couple of call girls in my life, but my doctor told me that insertive oral sex is practically zero risk and that there have never been any documented cases of this. He said even if there was blood or semen in the woman's mouth it would almost certainly not infect through your urethra, he said hes never seen a case from insertive oral sex of all the HIV cases he has seen and he specializes in HIV. He was much more worried about the condom falling off in the anal sex. I still have twitches in my body but most of the symptoms have left me which is another reason that i am worried because it said that the symptoms of acute just sort of disappear. Many viruses have been going around NYC recently, but I felt some psychological stuff going on in my brain which a regular flu I feel like would not do. Also I dont think Ive had the flu since i was a young kid so I dont really remember what it feels like, but can a flu last for 3-4 weeks. I really dont know. I guess I could have gotten Mono, sorry for rambling I am just so nervous and this would just ruin my life. My friends and family and the stigma, the pain, side effects of anti-retroviral meds. I dont think I could live with HIV. Maybe my anxiety prolonged it, I really dont know. I just would love to have your thoughts on this

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