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Avatar universal

I need encouragement

By all acounts i should be feeling prety good about my chances. Six weeks ago i had protected vaginal and unprotected oral sex on a woman of unknown status. I started getting cold symptoms a week later that have since dragged on for the last 5 weeks and only today am I feeling a little better. Four weeks after the incident i mustered up the courage and took an oraquick that came out negative. I was briefly euophoric until I realised I was probably tested too soon.

The doctor has already told me I am at no risk but I'm still afraid, because I had a small cold sore at the corner of my lip and my cold has lasted over a month. I already tested negative for mono. I have been  extremely fatigued, had a sore throat, and no appetite to speak of. I've lost weight and have had body aches. On the bright side I did not have any fever above 99 and there has been no rash.

So I know I need to get tested again if for anything my sanity. Yet I'm more scared now tha anything. I have a family that I love and can't live without and I have no plan if the test comes out positive. What else could cause a cold like this that lasts so long? Did I take the right test at 4 weeks? I keep hearing about this duo"duo" test. What is that? Would having symptoms of ARS affected my test or should I have waited till I felt better before i tested

Finally, I could use some kind thoughts. I racked with guilt and uncertainty. Please help me find the courage to get this next test over with. Thanks
8 Responses
Avatar universal
Thnks guy. Your only friends in times like these are cyber friends and I thank you for the response. I feel this sense of doom like I'm going to be that 1 in a million long shot that draws the short card and this cold has me so worried. Thanks and I will let you know how the testing goes later this week.
Avatar universal
Your persisting cold cannot be due to hiv since you tested negative.  If your cold was due to you seroconverting, the test would have showed inconclusive or positive.  You can test again for peace of mind, however it will be negative.
Avatar universal

Relax. Calm down.  You are fine and had SAFE sex, by "all accounts." I think you are rather unlike the rest of us sharing your questions and situations as it relates to your hypersensitive anxiety (although not unfounded) with Doc H and each other on this wonderfully informative and extremely educational website. If you need "kind comments" your thread should be addressed on the HIV Support forum, as this forum is usually reserved for questions for Doc H.  But nonetheless, it's okay, I'll take a stab at your situation.  

I believe the Doc will tell you, 4 week tests are almost 90% conclusive regarding your status, and 6 week test are I believe can be as much as 99% conclusive.  Doc H will tell you, in his 20+ years of history, he has never seen a documented case of acquiring HIV through cunnilingus and HIV cannot pass through intact latex condoms.

The duo test if farely standard for HIV testing and tests for both strands of the HIV virus (HIV1) and (HIV2).  The latter is virtually nonexistent in North America, assuming that's where you live. I do not know where HIV2 is more prevalent, but it's not relevant to you.

Assuming you DID have unprotected sex with a KNOWN HIV+ person, take a look at your risks by pasting this link into a new browser window from the Aids Education Global Information System website which has some other GREAT forums and FAQ regarding HIV transimission and AIDS-related information.:


According to them, your chances of contracting the HIV virus by having insertive, unprotected vaginal intercourse is almost, I believe, is 5/10,000, on per contact basis.  

So in any case, as the Doc would say. RELAX!! You had safe sex and probably don't need testing (from a risk standpoint) except to quell your anxiety at the 6-8 week level.  Considering you already tested once a little earlier than that timeline, testing once more will be the "mental" icing on the cake.  

He'd also say, anyone outside of monogamous relationships who are sexually active should test once a year.

Avatar universal
My mistake, didn't notice this IS the Support forum. Sorry bout that!
Avatar universal
feelingguilty ; i'm in a strikingly similiar situation as yours . I am sure you'll be allright "coz you had protected sex" & "protected sex is no risk at all" . As for for the unprotected oral , you dont even need to bring it to your thoughts with regards to HIV .
I had unprotected oral + unprotected vaginal(for 5-8 secs.) before putting on a hat, with a CSW . Symptoms started the the 3rd day after event & included a sore throat(tonsillitis) which has taken almost 2 months to recover from . It was like on & off for the 1st 6-7 weeks .
Even now(9 weeks post event) i dont feel 100% & back to my good ol self for this throat thing . no fever , no rash .
my intital 6 weeks loss of appetite was severe to the extent of loosing 8kgs weight . People who have not seen me in weeks have commented on it the moment they saw me .
smoking more than pack a day of ciggs.
i just would not eat when i have to . i was livin on one meal a day & that too for the reason that if i dont eat in front of my family ..how do i explain it to them ?
At 6 weeks , took standard HIV-ab test . negative . relieved a lot . This forum has been a life saver , after i read various threads here . The good doc here & many other readers have reflected that 6 weeks negative is good enough "regardless of test generation".
my only nagging thought are ;
(a)the tonsils are better but still kinda sore sometimes & I  
   have a pea sized node on my neck .
(b)a stiff neck with pain . anxiety & stress ?
I keep wondering why??
I have read that a viral tonsillitis can last even for few months before a person starts feeling 100% . is that true ?
Had this been ARS.. would my test have shown Indeterminate or positive at 6 weeks ?
anyone ? appreciate the comments from all of you here . God bless !
Avatar universal
Sparkeler, Godhelp...Thanks for your posts. From what I've gleened on this forum my risk seems virtually nil. Still, it helps when someone tells you directly.

I met with an very good ID doc this week who laughed with me and said he has seen this fear many times. Said it often takes 6 months to a year to get over it. I plan to take the retest at 8 weeks now. If I'm going to go through with it again i want to be certain.
Thanks again.
Avatar universal

your Nickname Handle on this forum says it all. The more you cleanse yourself of the guilt, the less anxiety & stress you will have, and the less your mind will punish your body for the shame you feel you have for engaging in "risky" behavior. Your body HAS to react to protect you from you putting undue mental stress on it, and so the "symptoms" seem like indicators of your worst nightmare of a disease!  It's pyschosomatic, I believe, albeit for a short period of time in your life.  It's not chronic, and you will see that having HIV from one such incident is such a far fetched thing. So relaxing is key, and doing the normal things in your life are ever more important as it takes your mind away from this particular, anxiety-causing issue.

Good luck!

Avatar universal

Made a mistake on my earlier post back on the 30th. The Duo Test tests for the HIV antibodies and the P24 antigen, and NOT for both strains of HIV like I stated earlier.  My apologies.  See following link:

The HIVhttp://www.freedomhealth.co.uk/HIV_Testing.htm

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