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Avatar universal

I think I have HIV!

Doctor H.H.H,  or Doctor Edward W Hook

I'm from Toronto, On, Canada. I've been dating this girl for 2 months and on April 20, 2012 as well as April 26, 2012 we had unprotected vaginal sex. About 10-14 days later I had a sore throat and joint(knee and elbow) and muscle pain and tongue kinda pale and white with one sore blister on the left side of inner mouth. I got a bit scared and the went into the walk in clinic as my family doctor was not available and the doctor in the walk in said I had mild swollen glands. But, when I went to my family doctor the very next day he's like I can't feel anything like swollen glands. He did a chlamydia and gonorrhea test, which both came back negative and gave me pills to take also for the chlamydia and gonorrhea just in case it came back positive. Mind you I heard your suppose to hold the urine an hour in before you pee in the sample cup, but, I probably only held it for half hour or so, do you think maybe that's the reason it came back negative? I asked both the doctors if I there was a high chance that I had caught HIV and they both different occasions they smiled and said they highly doubt it as it's very hard to catch. My question is my sore throat took two weeks to go away as it only takes 4-7 days usually, and I still have muscle and joint pain. And these are all the symptoms of acute HIV as I've read online. My family doctor said in one month I can do Hep A, B, and C and syphilis test but have to wait 3 months for HIV testing. I'm so paranoid! I asked the girl if she had anything she said she's recently been tested and her doctor said that if she had anything they will contact her, but, they haven't so far, And its been over a month and half, I mean I'd like to believe her but, I dunno why I just don't! Cause even our first time she wanted to do it without a condom. She has 3 kids with three different fathers and just by this behaviors she sounds promiscuous! I know I shouldn't say that, but, wow, I don't just sleep with anyone. Plus her kids are not with her, their with the fathers so it kinda made me think why doesn't she have custody of them. Anyways, I know that it's like 1/2000 from female to male or 1/1000 from male to female but, what if she was in the HIV window period and she didn't know? My chances are like 1/5 then because it's much likely to infect in the window period as it is to do after! Oh I hate myself right now! It's been almost a month since my last unprotected exposure and I haven't had any rash that I can tell, although my skin is a bit itchy and oily, and NO fever, my heads been a minor hot when I felt it here and there and then normal again, and now when I sleep I have minor night sweats. Maybe due to the weather change. I think I might have an enlarged spleen, because my left lower abdominal pains me here and there. Am I going crazy, I dunno! I read that most of your symptoms go away after two weeks. My sore throat and glands are gone, after 2 weeks. However, my family doctor confirmed that there were no swollen glands just sore throat. Mind you my friend had a cold and I could have very well caught it from him as I was eating at his place, but 24-48 hours later I caught a cold? And that was right at the 10-14 day mark after the unprotected exposure with the girl friend. I dunno how likely that is for a cold to come on that fast. Never the less, please help I'm driving myself nuts! 

I'm 27 turning 28 and straight(heterosexual), don't do any IV drugs or any drugs for that matter, and I asked her and she says neither does she and she's 24 years old by the way. I asked her if I should be concerned she's like your just being paranoid! Then why do  I have these symptoms, and they feel real! I apologies once again if I'm blowing this out of proportion. The only reason we had unprotected sex was because she told me she had gotten checked out and that she was clean!

 I feel like crying right now! Wow! I can't believe I felt for the "I'm clean line!". I'm so scared that my results are going to be positive when I do my test in 3 months. Someone help me! Btw it was only vaginal sex. No anal.
45 Responses
Avatar universal
Are you sure my symptoms are not of HIV? I can swear I read all of those symptoms online for acute HIV! I can ask her, but, she's a bit of a psycho! She will get upset and start distancing herself from me. So you don't think these are the symptoms? Or am I too anxious?
480448 tn?1426948538
Quit contacting this girl.  HER test is not important, you cannot judge your status by someone else's test results, ever.  The only results you need to worry about are your own.
Avatar universal
Ok nurse girl, I will :-( I just wanted to be sure as I'd be pissed if she gave me something and she knew about it! I think she can be jailed for that!
480448 tn?1426948538
In the end, it doesn't really matter HOW he got infected (if he ended up positive), the choice to have unprotected sex was his own.  My main point, however, is that people often think that finding out a partner's status is sufficient, it is not.  The only test result that is important is his own.

I'm sorry to tell you that there is no legal recourse if she indeed did infect you, for the simple fact that YOU made the decision to have unprotected sex with her.  We are responsible for our own health, no one else.  I certainly wouldn't agree with it, and think it is morally wrong, but legally...no, unless there was a rape type of situation where there wasn't consent.

The reality is, people have ended up facing harassment charges because they continue to pester the partner about testing and their status.  This is another good reason why you only worry about your own test.

Avatar universal
Well nurse girl, I can agree on something that you have said. But, bylaw at least in Canada if she has the disease she had to tell me! Then this way millions would be infected if the partner who had it didn't tell the other person! People have been jailed here for stuff like this. Once you know your legally obligated to inform your partner! Trust me, I dunno how it is the united states, but, up here in the north we do things a bit differently. Now, had she not known, and she infected me, different story. But, if she tested positive and decided to not tell me, well good luck in jail for 12 years! Yes, I'll be screwed, but, so will she. Let's pray that she doesn't have any of this stuff as she told me she doesn't have any STD to her knowledge. And I'll stay away from her!
480448 tn?1426948538
Well, I 100% disagree with that.  That is putting all of the responsibility on the infected person and relieving others from taking responsibility for their own decisions.  ANYONE can say anything about their status, it's up to each person to protect themselves.

Of course, morally, they should tell their partners, definitely.  But the ONLY people to blame for the "spread" of HIV are the ones who choose to not use protection, regardless of the partner.  No offense to you.
Avatar universal
Is she positive? Do you know that she knows that she is positive? You do know that you are part to blame for you own health. You were the one that had UNPROTECTED sex. You could have used a condom.
480448 tn?1426948538
Teak makes a good point.  Even if she IS positive, she may not know.  That wouild be nearly impossible to prove in court, unless there was record of her somewhere getting tested.

You may want to research those laws again, I really havent heard of any country willing to hold someone criminally responsible during a consenual sex act when one person gets infected, even if the partner withholds their status.

I dont know for sure, but it seems unlikely.
Avatar universal
Not that I'm making an argument out of this but I'll post something here for you for the sake of future reference. Please read this as it will give some weight to my so called theory.

http://www.canada.com/mobile/iphone/story.html?id=dced6e21-bee4-4183-95d3-da83cf3a9ab2


Once again, I am not starting an argument and will not respond to anything that is negative. Please take this with grain of salt. And I thank all personals for shedding some light on my topic thanks you.
Avatar universal
Also, the person must be confirmed positive by my medical professional. One cannot just charge the other if he/ she didn't or doesn't their status. I think I put that in my other post.
Avatar universal
He knew he was HIV positive and didn't disclose. I just asked you if she knows that she is HIV positive? If she doesn't, there is no unlawful act.
480448 tn?1426948538
Thats the crux of the argument, if someone does not KNOW they are positive, there is nothing to disclose.

Any which way, this isn't a place for debate, but I definitely don't agree with holding someone criminally responsible.  Just my opinion.

Nite.
Avatar universal
Teak: please read my above stated line. Hence that's why I said if she knows and only if she knows. She told me she's not and let's say she lied about that and she is then and only then I can charge with something. Like the doctors as well as nurse girl has said the chances are low and yes I was an idiot to believe her because I stated going out with her you have to have some trust you know. Oh well, I guess only time will tell.
Avatar universal
What kept you from using a condom?
Avatar universal
Ps, don't mind the spelling and grammar please as it's all over. And sorry nurse girl, I can't agree with you that they shouldn't be charged. As once again this is no place for debate but, the point I'm trying to get across is that say I wanted to start a family with her and she knew and I asked her that "hey have you been tested and you don't have STD" and age responds with a yes I am clear of all STD as I have had my check up so and so. See what I'm trying to get at. Not like this was a one night stand where I was drunk out of my mind, I like the girl!

Anyways, have a good night
Avatar universal
The reason I didn't use a condom was because she said she is STD free and she had an IUD which she can't get knocked up.
Avatar universal
Not to bright now was it?
Avatar universal
No, it wasn't but, you have to see where I'm coming from. Bro, honestly if you can help me please do, the last thing I'd want to be is lectured on medhelp.
Avatar universal
Apparently you want to put all the blame on someone else when you are just as much to blame.
Avatar universal
No, I'm 100 percent to blame.
Avatar universal
These days you have to be so careful when having sex because you can never predict what the other person will do.Sadly in this day and age we have to assume everyone is positive and protect ourselves.People can lie about their status aswell and it's getting more common,also in the heat of the moment people don't think and don't use protection and I'm not just talking about being under the influence of alcohol either.You trusted this woman when she said she had no STD's but you should have known better.One last thing because it's to late to change the past--why are you waiting 3 months to test when and HIV DUO at 4 weeks is 99.89% reliable.I would take that test now and then follow up at 3 months.I can't believe your doctor wouldn't suggest this to you.
Avatar universal
He's beyond the benefit of an DUO test and it would be a waste of money to take a DUO test at this time.
Avatar universal
But the exposures where the 20th & 26th of april which is 4 and 5 weeks respectively.
Avatar universal
164 dollars verses a test that is one third of that. It's a waste of money.
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