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Avatar universal

Nervous in New York

Hi everyone -im really hoping you can provide me with some comfort - im sorry in advance for the somewhat lengthy paragraph - please take a minute to read this - i really need your help. i am a straight, married male, 30 years old in good health. 10-12 years ago i went through my promiscous adolecent phase where i slept with approx 10 women over a 2 year period - at least half were very brief, 1-2 day flings or one night stands. I had unprotected sex with maybe 4-5 total - most of these women were my age at the time 18-25 years old - most were white, maybe 1 black and 1 hispanic as well - most were "party" type girls, at the club, late hanging out, go back to my place a bit tipsy, a couple were college types, and during one especially wild weekend, one was a paid escort during a bachelor party but i used a condom with her and no oral sex...with all of these girls, there were no drugs present (to my knowledge). After one of these flings, i went to the doctor and was diagnosed with chlamidia - i was shocked and very scared. I took a z-pack and it knocked it right out of me. A few weeks after that, i developed blisters on my chin - i went to the dr. and she told me that i had oral herpes. I did perform oral sex on a few of the ladies i was with - i never had oral herpes before this - i never realized that you can possibly get that from oral sex - im not sure if its directly related but it must be? I took a HIV test after the bout with chlamidia (about 4-5 weeks after the last sexual encounter) and came back negative. All of my experiences with these women were vaginal intercourse (for not very long at all) and oral sex - never, not once anal. Soon after this phase in my life, i met my future wife and we've been together ever since. I have not been with another woman since 1999. my life has been a dream and i have the best wife in the world - she is my best friend. Over the past couple of years, i have had some stomach issues, constipation/diarreah, and my "cold sore outbreaks on my chin" have increased in frequency from maybe 1-3 outbreaks per year to now 4-6 per year (mostly in the winter months), and i average about 2-3 colds per year, but never any fever or vomiting - in fact, i havent had a fever or vomited for many years - Now, i do have a very high stress job for the past 9 years now - ive always just assumed that my stomach issues and cold sores are a result of being worn down by stress and work - i get a full physical exam with bloodwork every year and every year i get a clean bill of health - not even high blood pressure. My most recent annual was in August 2009. Im not certain if ive been tested for HIV since my initial test over 10 years ago. Last year, my stomach issues became a bit worse so i saw a gastroentologist who gave me a colonoscopy, upper gi, blood test and fecal occult - everything came back clear and he diagnosed me with IBS. The past month is when i started getting scared. I got 3 consecutive cold sores on my chin over a 1 month period, my stomach has been bothersome (gas, cramps, bloating) and now im sitting here typing to you with a headcold. The last headcold i got was 6 months ago, and i had one 6 months before that. It just seems like my immune system is off - and i have a very healthy diet - i dont drink, smoke or do any drugs. For some reason i came across an article on HIV and read that some folks have HIV for 10 years without even knowing it. This really scared me guys. All of these thoughts rushed through my head - ive also noticed more white film on my tongue than normal. My energy level is usually pretty good - i do get worn down from my job so i guess that makes me suceptible to cold sore reoccurences and stomach issues. My wife also gets an annual physical and pap smear - also a clean bill of health but im not sure she ever got tested for HIV and i dont want to bring it up just yet because im afraid she will get scared and start crying - that would devastate me - Please tell me if you think im overeacting? I looked at my blood test results and i dont see anything in there relating to HIV - but my red and white blood cell counts are perfectly normal. Any insight you can provide would be much appreciated - i didnt sleep last night because of this.
4 Responses
186166 tn?1385259382
your "symptoms" are not indicative of hiv...BUT...the only way to know one's status is by testing.

get tested so that you can put this fear behind you and move on with your life.  it's that simple ! !
Avatar universal
Lizzie - thanks so much for responding. I do plan to get tested asap although i am really frightened to the point that i am shaking. Ive never been so scared in my life. Do you think that because it was 10 years ago, etc... that I should feel somewhat better about that?
186166 tn?1385259382
"Do you think that because it was 10 years ago, etc...that i should feel somewhat better about that?"

you should feel better when you test and get your results.
Avatar universal
Hi there - i just got back from my dr's appt - i gave blood and she said it should take a day or 2- she also gave me a Xanex for the anxiety. She doesnt think i have it - im not displaying many symptoms - just a bit of a headcold and my tongue is a little discolored and a cold sore on my chin - does HIV typically cause stomach issues? That has been the biggest change in me the past few years - periodic diarreah and constipation. Now is the wait and its killing me - are there any ways that i can mentally prepare? I keep thinking "what if".....
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