Avatar universal

Not a question- HIV Anxiety is real/the mind is powerful

Hello everyone,
I wanted to share my experience with HIV anxiety so as to help someone out. Exactly 6 weeks ago I went to an asian spa and had protected sex with an older csw. It was actually my first time ever doing something like that so I naturally felt guilty afterwards. The condom did not appear to break and looked intact when pulled out. About 1 minute after pulling out, the csw proceeded to take the condom off of my after having wiped herself off. When she was removing she accidentally slipped the condom back after having it about 3/4 rolled off already. She eventually removed it successfully and then wiped me down. My fear a few days after was that I had caught something from the vagina secretion on the condom that might have come in contact with my penis. The csw was older and during foreplay she had a dark spot on her outer thigh which very well could have been a birth mark. My mind was overthinking and began to google std symptoms. I was specifically terrified that this csw had HIV and I had contracted it. My mind was convinced I had HIV for about 3 weeks and they were some of the toughest weeks I’ve ever lived. I barely slept and started to have symptoms a few days after the encounter such slight fever, pain in some joints, slight throat pain, itching, changing bowel movements,and burning sensation at tip of penis. At 3 weeks I found this amazing forum and posted my scenario and received an expert opinion that I never had a risk of getting HIV. At exactly 28 days after incident I went to get tested and had a 4th gen duo test. I was so nervous about the results. When they came in as “non-reactive” I was so relieved. My mind had created all my symptoms. Now at 6 weeks I’ve come down with some sort of cold/flu after an abrupt seasonal change from summer to autumn. My mind still overthinks about it but definitely not as much. I’m taking my 28 day test as conclusive as I never was at risk. This whole ordeal has really taken a toll on my mind and body. Please guys, use protection and trust the experts.
1 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
20620809 tn?1504362969
I think when we worry over and over about something that we are being told we shouldn't and we kind of know it on some level, it is time to realize anxiety is at work and to get help for the anxiety. Our mental health is important and anxiety is a condition like any other disease state.  It can be treated and people can get better.  
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community

Top HIV Answerers
366749 tn?1544695265
Karachi, Pakistan
370181 tn?1595629445
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.