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Oral Sex with known HIV partner

On 6/4/07 I allowed a guy to perform oral sex on me. He did it without a condom, and I didn't reciprocate. I usually try to ask a person's status before I do anything, but for some reason I didn't ask until after. He informed me that he was in fact positive.

This scared the hell out of me. I was mad at both of us (myself for not asking first, and him for not telling me his status beforehand). Now I've read that unprotected insertive oral sex is pretty much zero risk. This guy even told me that he wouldn't have done more without me without revealing his status. He said that his doctor told him that what he did was pretty safe. Also he said that there are a lot of couples out there with one person positive and one negative, and the negative person never gets HIV when protected anal/vaginal and unprotected oral sex is performed.

I guess this lines up with pretty much everything I read and have seen on this site.

Now I would never have unprotected anal sex, but I was told that unprotected oral sex was pretty safe (at least from an HIV standpoint). The problem for me is that I'm uncircumcised. I know this at least doubles my risk. I just worry about any unforseen cuts/small tears that I may have had on my penis which is always possible with uncircumcised men...or if he had any cuts/sores in his mouth. I didn't notice any when I kissed him, but anxiety is really doing a number on me.

I try not to let my fear of HIV overpower me enough to not have sex, so I tried to educate myself as much as possible...and try to do everything as safe as possible - but it's situations like this that make me question if it's worth it.

In the past year and a half, i've had safe sex with one guy a few times (I know for sure he's negative) and I have oral sex performed on me by three other guys (one time each). I figured all this was safe, until the last encounter.

Everyone tells me that I'm overreacting...and maybe I am.  I try to get tested annually. My next annual test is in sept., but I'm really scared about what the result will be. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks
11 Responses
Avatar universal
You can not get infected with HIV from receiving a blowjob.
Avatar universal
Dude I feel your pain.  I also received oral sex from someone who tells me later in the week that she is HIV positive.  Two weeks later I have all these symptoms that terrify me.  I get results back next week.  I know all these people say oral sex receiving = 0 risk but it just isn't the same when u know they are HIV positive.  I do not have all the answers for you.  But I just wanted you to know that someone else is out there experiencing the same thing.  I will pray for both of us.
Avatar universal
I'll say a prayer for you too. Dr. H. says I have nothing to worry about, but I could get tested at 6 weeks to relieve any anxieties. I think I will do the test then, just because my mind probably won't let it go until I do. Good luck with your test buddy. I think we're both in the clear, maybe just our minds play tricks.
188761 tn?1559713227
COMMUNITY LEADER
Read what Teak said, you don't need any prayers !
188761 tn?1559713227
COMMUNITY LEADER
Avatar universal

Everyone has given you pretty much the same advice, but, as you seem anxious about this, I think it probably would not hurt to repeat it: receiving oral sex is not, repeat: not, a risk factor for HIV. The fact that you are circumcised does not matter in the least, as, after all, a doubling of a 0% probability still leaves us with, yep, no chance at all of having caught HIV.

Of course, it is probably only natural to be a bit anxious when finding out that your partner is HIV positive. My feeling is that your partner should have told you before anything happened, but perhaps his thought was that the act he performed posed no risk to you, so why not? Ok, fine, it's true, but rationality sometimes takes a back seat to our baser emotions.

So, understand, you are feeling a bit frightened, a little taken aback. But, and remember this, what everyone has advised you so far is absolutely, 100% true: you had no risk of contracting HIV given the scenario you described, and thus, you did not catch HIV from this. No ifs, ands or buts about it, it just didn't happen.

As Dr. H suggested, if you continue to feel anxiety stemming from this incident, sure, go ahead and take a test at 6 weeks, collect your negative result, and then go your merry way, a wiser person for it.
Avatar universal
I had unprotected oral sex from a complete stranger and i have all of the symptoms for chlymidia, but i am afraid of a positive HIV test because (please correct me if im wrong) to my understanding chlamydia is caused from blood in the saliva during oral sex.... i too am very anxious and regretful so i ask for a bit of patience if my question seems pointless to those knowledgeable to my circumstances... thank you for any feedback whatsoever...and God bless
186166 tn?1385262982
oral sex does NOT transmit hiv.
186166 tn?1385262982
it's like having kids to follow behind on ! ! !

ORAL SEX IS NOT A MEANS OF TRANSMITTING HIV.
Avatar universal
According to an article, it is possible to contract HIV through oral sex, except chances are very mild.

Not sure whether Dr HHH and Dr Hook have encountered any HIV positive cases through oral sex?
186166 tn?1385262982
your "article" is out of date.  

hiv is NOT transmitted through oral sex.
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