Hello. I am a gay man in my late 30s. 11 days ago I met a 25 yo guy in London on Grindr who I invited over to my hotel to fool around. I don't know if he was gay or bi or straight (I thought either of the latter two). I was very drunk and he had some marijuana on him, which we smoked before we retired to my room. I remember giving him a blowjob (don't remember him ejaculating) and possibly kissing him, but I was pretty much out of it, so I passed out and don't know how the night ended. The last thing I remember is that he went out to have a cig, I gave him the key to come back to the room, I covered myself and fell asleep. I may remember how he came back to the room, but not sure. He stayed in my room and left in the early morning. He mentioned something about him ejaculating (I thought it was because he was not really into sex in the morning) and me falling asleep. When I woke up the next morning he was rather nice, we spent time touching each other and trying to sleep for an hour and then he left. I got a scare that he may have engaged in anal sex with me while I was asleep or very drunk (although I think I'd have remembered something). I did not feel any discomfort or pain in my anus the next day or the day after and spent a carefree 2 days in London. I even checked the sheets and the covers in my bed to see if there were any marks that anal sex was involved. There was nothing. My anus started aching 3 days after that night and I am now freaking out that he did engage in anal sex with me. I have these visions that he penetrates me. The pain (more like a discomfort than pain) in my anus still comes and goes, and I am planning to go to a doctor tomorrow, but I am afraid to hear that I have a tear or something and that he caused it. And if he did penetrate it, I am starting to fear that he may have given me HIV, perhaps even knowingly (I apologize if I sound horrible). I am thinking about an HIV test in 4 weeks but am scared to do it. I can't help thinking that he had unprotected anal sex with me and ejaculated inside which would be the highest risk I believe. Sometimes I even think that he brought someone into my room to have sex with me while I was out of it. On the other hand, I am trying to calm myself down and tell myself that there were no signs and I just fell asleep and I am not even sure how one can have sex with a passed out person (especially since he penis was very large) or that most people simply won't do that. I know you can't reconstruct the night for me and it is my fault, but is it all in my head? I keep obsessing about it and don't know what to do. But it helped just to get it all out and share my thoughts. They are consuming me. Thank you.