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Avatar universal

Possible short insertive anal sex

Hi all,

I'm kind of anxious at the moment and I don't know if I have anything to worry about.

Firstly I would like to mention, that I have never had insertive anal sex in my life, and the last time I had receptive was 10+ years ago. So really not experienced in that area.

Today I was at a sex club for men and I put my penis through a glory hole, expecting a blow job. The guy on the other side was doing his thing, but it didnt feel like a blowjob. So I withdrew my penis and then noticed he has his butt in the whole and not his face. Since I do now know HOW insertive anal sex feels like, I don't know if I in any way penetrated him. I did feel like it was doing something (felt it on my foreskin) but not sure if it entered his anus.

The exposure was pretty brief, i think maximally 1 minute until i felt like something was wrong and withdrew. I immediately checked my ppenis for cuts and there were not any. But still I fell very anxious, cause the reason I avoid anal sex is because of it's HIV risk. And now it may have happened unintentionally.

I want to contact my doctor tomorrow to ask if PEP treatment is needed, but I would really like to know what you guys think of it. If there was no penetration then there was no risk, but if there was penetration, did I run a big risk, even though it only lasted for a very short amount of time?
2 Responses
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Avatar universal
In short you never run a big risk of HIV in any given single exposure. For two reasons
A) HIV is not that common
B) most encounters don’t lead to infection

I have had anal sex before and I can say for sure you feel it, but even if you did penetrate without somehow feeling it the risk was low.
Insertive anal sex is lower risk for HIV than receptive somewhere around 1 in 160 if the bottom had HIV. And that’s prolonged full Anal I bet short encounter is lower risk

I’m not saying you had no risk and perhaps PEP is an option but the risk is without a doubt low enough not to spend time worrying on this.

Just a word of warning if you do seek PEP it prolongs the window period for conclusive testing. This is the main downside to PEP.
Helpful - 1
1 Comments
Thank you for your reply. I keep running it back in my head, but cannot be sure what really happened and it's driving me crazy, cause it raises all these useless what-if questions, but still they are hard to ignore. Rationally I understand the chances of really getting infected from my first and only insertive intercourse (of which i'm not even certain it really happened), but can't shake it off and feel like I ran an enormous risk. It does not help to think how easy it was for him to have anal sex without a condom. This gives me the feeling that there's a great chance he's positive (i know it's an assumption but still)

It doesn't help that a PEP prolongs the period, on one hand it some kind of relief to be able to do something in case there was a transmission of the virus. But waiting an extra 4 weeks to get a conclusive result will be horrible. I find the 6-8 mark, which is not conclusive. to be an eternity.
Avatar universal
Talked to the doctor today and explained what had happened yesterday. He sees the risk of infection as a low risk in this scenario and doesn't advice to start a PEP treatment. This helped calm my mind for now. Tomorrow I have an appointment for a STD checkup, on his advice. But I should not worry according to him.

It's not even been 24 yet, and tomorrow it will be almost 48 hours since exposure. If someone thinks PEP is advisable, please let me know, the I can discuss that again tomorrow when I go for a checkup.
Helpful - 0
3 Comments
Hi again,
I still agree with your doctor I don’t think Pep is necessary this was an exceeding low risk encounter.

It all comes down to if you insterted or not and as someone who has done anal sex before you will know. The first step it to push and you feel that for sure, then it grabs you and pulls you in it’s an unique feeling but you will know if you inserted.

Even if you did you didn’t do it for long enough for enough fluids to be exchanged.

I really don’t think PEP is needed or even testing but of course for you testing is a great idea as you will prove to yourself that you was not infected.

Perhaps your STI clinic if you talk to them tomorrow will agree to do a RNA test at 2 week which will be over 90% conclusive. Follow this up with a 4th gen test at 4 week for 100% conclisveness (or as near as damn it)

Stay calm. I honestly don’t see a risk here.
Thank you yet again for your quick reply and for keeping me down to earth. Rationally I know that the risk was very low, but the mind can make you think things that override any rational thought (and me being and INTP personality, it's extremely uncomfortable to be led by emotion instead of by logic, which is my default state). The thing is, if I just walked away without peeking to see what was on the other side of the hole, I wouldn't have given this a second thought and would have gone home with no notion of having run a risk. Only the idea of having potentially penetrated him send my mind spinning.

I feel much more relaxed thanks to your clear answers and will do he RNS test(there is a location here in the Netherlands where I can get one done), just to have some confidence before doing a conclusive test. The fact that no one seems to advice PEP has been a big help, so than you again very much!
Good luck with your tests you can absolutely expect negative tests.

Honestly though I have been in all sorts of states drugs, drink, saunas the lot but I always knew when I penetrated. It’s not one of them “is it in yet” moments you get it’s certainly a unique feeling.

If you can don’t over think it.

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