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Precautions of Children and HIV
I just recently found out that my children's grandmother (their fathers mother) is HIV positive. I by no means want to eliminate her contact with her grandchildren, however I do believe that a basic understanding needs to be established before hand.
Their father and I can not seem to agree on the matter at hands and instead it's causing huge disagreements. Our children are ages 4 and 1. So needless to say, they are active, they fall, they constantly are scrapped and scratched.
My 1 year old is a typical toddler --putting everything in her mouth, etc. They're just normal children.
I have asked that the children not be left alone with her. For one, they are just not old enough to understand and should something happen (she has epilespy as well for example), not be able to take the precautions needed.
I've also asked that they not eat or drink after her. She's famous for 'sharing' her drinks with the kids, but as mentioned, they're typical kids, and whose knows the cuts they have? Not to mention the cutting teeth of my youngest.
I've also chose to dress them in pants and to make sure they have socks and shoes on when at her house. This is in effort to protect their banged and scratched knees, etc. (I didn't ask this, but I just chose to do it...because so much turmoil started just with the first two above mentioned request)
Am I (if possible) being too cautious?
Their father is now accusing me of being heartless and cold. He's accusing me of pouring salt into a wound, so to say...not caring about his mother, but causing her more hurt.
I just feel like I can not be safe enough, nor do I think I've asked for anything above and beyond.
I am actually offended myself, that HE as the children's father is not just as concerned as I am.
I'm also dumbfound that their grandmother wouldn't want to protect her grandchildren as well.
Even if the risk are slight...isn't it still worth it to just be safe?? I don't believe I've been unfair in my request.
Am I wrong?
Are there other things that I need to take precautions with or watch for?
Please advise!!
Their father and I can not seem to agree on the matter at hands and instead it's causing huge disagreements. Our children are ages 4 and 1. So needless to say, they are active, they fall, they constantly are scrapped and scratched.
My 1 year old is a typical toddler --putting everything in her mouth, etc. They're just normal children.
I have asked that the children not be left alone with her. For one, they are just not old enough to understand and should something happen (she has epilespy as well for example), not be able to take the precautions needed.
I've also asked that they not eat or drink after her. She's famous for 'sharing' her drinks with the kids, but as mentioned, they're typical kids, and whose knows the cuts they have? Not to mention the cutting teeth of my youngest.
I've also chose to dress them in pants and to make sure they have socks and shoes on when at her house. This is in effort to protect their banged and scratched knees, etc. (I didn't ask this, but I just chose to do it...because so much turmoil started just with the first two above mentioned request)
Am I (if possible) being too cautious?
Their father is now accusing me of being heartless and cold. He's accusing me of pouring salt into a wound, so to say...not caring about his mother, but causing her more hurt.
I just feel like I can not be safe enough, nor do I think I've asked for anything above and beyond.
I am actually offended myself, that HE as the children's father is not just as concerned as I am.
I'm also dumbfound that their grandmother wouldn't want to protect her grandchildren as well.
Even if the risk are slight...isn't it still worth it to just be safe?? I don't believe I've been unfair in my request.
Am I wrong?
Are there other things that I need to take precautions with or watch for?
Please advise!!
I am not angry at anyone.
And I am glad that the post was made clear.
Let's make a decision to end this thread.
B.
And I am glad that the post was made clear.
Let's make a decision to end this thread.
B.
I JUST realized there was all these other post before the last one (Dumbo's & before my own), with you all arguing back and forth! So I'm going to take the time to say this...
I didn't start this threat to cause all these negative debates. I sincerely needed an understanding of my personal situation and thought to reach out to others.
Teak, your first post to me was "This has nothing to do with HIV"...(something like that). And I sat here, staring at that one sentence, wondering what you meant, but then after a while, I started questioning myself about it. Did my situation have to do with HIV or was I using the HIV as an excuse to eliminate a situation that I didn't want to deal with anyway.
I'm not sure whether that's what you were getting at or not, but that's where it lead my thoughts and I think maybe that is indeed the case.
At the moment that I considered that, I actually held an untold respect for you just for making me open my own eyes.
But then you continued to post and it was so full of anger and disrespect and that offended me.
At the time, I hadn't read the other boards, I hadn't seen some of what the other people here were saying and the stupidity they post, I didn't even realize that you had AIDS, personally. All I knew is you judged me for trying to understand a situation and I couldn't understand that.
Now, I've read some of the other post, and even I just feel like screaming at some of the people, because it feels like they are making a mockery of the situation. I read your profile and some other things to understand you.
I see that you teach on HIV/AIDS and for that I admire you. It confused me though to see that you actually teach, so you do use your situation to help others, yet here I felt like you were only out to bash me.
I just think maybe we both jumped a little too fast. Maybe you judged me thinking I was somehow attempting to make a joke of a serious situation (I was not), if you actually knew me, you'd know I'm one of the most openminded people you could ever cross and maybe I judged you too harshly before understanding your side.
So, from me to you, I apologize. I hope we both can 'learn a lesson' from this.
I didn't come here to judge you or anyone else that may have HIV. Every family, every individual deals with something in their life. I would never judge you for that!!
In refernece to all these "gay issues"....My life "hero" and best friend ever is a gay male. I hold the upmost respect and admiration for him, so don't think for a moment I would judge anyone for their sexual orientation.
Brian, I hope this clarifies my statement, that you replied to as well (in reference to Teak).
And Dumbo, Thank you for your continued support and understanding! It really does mean alot!
I didn't start this threat to cause all these negative debates. I sincerely needed an understanding of my personal situation and thought to reach out to others.
Teak, your first post to me was "This has nothing to do with HIV"...(something like that). And I sat here, staring at that one sentence, wondering what you meant, but then after a while, I started questioning myself about it. Did my situation have to do with HIV or was I using the HIV as an excuse to eliminate a situation that I didn't want to deal with anyway.
I'm not sure whether that's what you were getting at or not, but that's where it lead my thoughts and I think maybe that is indeed the case.
At the moment that I considered that, I actually held an untold respect for you just for making me open my own eyes.
But then you continued to post and it was so full of anger and disrespect and that offended me.
At the time, I hadn't read the other boards, I hadn't seen some of what the other people here were saying and the stupidity they post, I didn't even realize that you had AIDS, personally. All I knew is you judged me for trying to understand a situation and I couldn't understand that.
Now, I've read some of the other post, and even I just feel like screaming at some of the people, because it feels like they are making a mockery of the situation. I read your profile and some other things to understand you.
I see that you teach on HIV/AIDS and for that I admire you. It confused me though to see that you actually teach, so you do use your situation to help others, yet here I felt like you were only out to bash me.
I just think maybe we both jumped a little too fast. Maybe you judged me thinking I was somehow attempting to make a joke of a serious situation (I was not), if you actually knew me, you'd know I'm one of the most openminded people you could ever cross and maybe I judged you too harshly before understanding your side.
So, from me to you, I apologize. I hope we both can 'learn a lesson' from this.
I didn't come here to judge you or anyone else that may have HIV. Every family, every individual deals with something in their life. I would never judge you for that!!
In refernece to all these "gay issues"....My life "hero" and best friend ever is a gay male. I hold the upmost respect and admiration for him, so don't think for a moment I would judge anyone for their sexual orientation.
Brian, I hope this clarifies my statement, that you replied to as well (in reference to Teak).
And Dumbo, Thank you for your continued support and understanding! It really does mean alot!
LOL
I needed that laugh today!
I will email soon! I actually check back and forth here at work...somedays are slower than usual. (Today I have a good bit to do)
Then of course when I'm home, the lil' ones do not dare allow me to have even a minute on the computer LOL
I needed that laugh today!
I will email soon! I actually check back and forth here at work...somedays are slower than usual. (Today I have a good bit to do)
Then of course when I'm home, the lil' ones do not dare allow me to have even a minute on the computer LOL
Teak has every right in his own beliefs to say to the people on the forum "SCREW OFF" I dont care about assessing your risk,...I already have HIV. If that were true, he would nto be here.
Why are you so persistent on setting Teak as being wrong?
Are you so insecure about your own sexuality or sexual risk in the past that you somehow HAVE to project your fear of HIV/AIDS on gay men?
I JUST DO NOT GET IT?
Anyways, tired of foolish message sending.
Good Luck.
Why are you so persistent on setting Teak as being wrong?
Are you so insecure about your own sexuality or sexual risk in the past that you somehow HAVE to project your fear of HIV/AIDS on gay men?
I JUST DO NOT GET IT?
Anyways, tired of foolish message sending.
Good Luck.
If he wants it he can google it. I've never disappeared except for two weeks ago and everyone knew where I was. Courage you don't know the meaning. Begone little boy before someone drops the house on your head.
Tell you what hotshot. You post your link that regularjoey has asked for more than once now and I will post mine even though I have done this many many times before and when I do you disappear.
Show some "courage" brian claims you have and post you links.
Show some "courage" brian claims you have and post you links.
Even in Africa infections are on teh decline due to prevention and education efforts.
In your dreams. Post where you got that information.
In your dreams. Post where you got that information.
"Well, if your not a homosexual, etc"
Where have I said these exact words Brian? I have repeatedly said it is a disease primarily spread by receptive anal sex (happens to be the sex males have, but so do male/female partners), needle sharing, and receptive vaginal (although much more difficult)
And again, I do not include Africa as I hav said time and time again the circumstances are completely different than NA / EU. And alot of Africas problems come from anal sex and needle sharing, genital piercings, high untreated STD rates, poor health which makes them susceptible to more diseases....etc. Even in Africa though, infections are now on the decline due to prevention /education efforts.
Where have I said these exact words Brian? I have repeatedly said it is a disease primarily spread by receptive anal sex (happens to be the sex males have, but so do male/female partners), needle sharing, and receptive vaginal (although much more difficult)
And again, I do not include Africa as I hav said time and time again the circumstances are completely different than NA / EU. And alot of Africas problems come from anal sex and needle sharing, genital piercings, high untreated STD rates, poor health which makes them susceptible to more diseases....etc. Even in Africa though, infections are now on the decline due to prevention /education efforts.
"So, he has it pretty good to still be alive don't you think? "
First of all, I am not on here to JUDGE anyone or anybody's behavior, lifestyle, etc....as SO MANY ON HERE DO!
I just do not get the emphasis on GAYS and AIDS.
NEWS ALERT!!!!: AIDS DOES AFFECT HETEROSEXUALS!!
Dumbo,
I think you have a lot to offer to the forum, I think you need to "TwEAK" (no pun intended) your advice a little. Your advice often seems all-too-much one-sided, ...such as "Well, if your not a homosexual, etc..)
The truth of the matter is,.....your giving advice to a LIVNG BREATHING human being on the other end of this computer. What if,......for instance you are talking to someone you have provided then "6 week valid test ****" to and finds out that he really had HIV , but did not know it because he actually achieved antobody production by the 8weeks? In the mean time he could have affected his wife, etc..
I am not being mean, and I am not judging people on their sexual orientation, etc.
All too often people on here are thinking, : "GEE, I AM NOT GAY, SO I DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY".
YES, statisitcally yes, but.....what about the "what if's?....would you want to be that what if?"
and besides, in my opinion, HIV is not a guessing game or a stats russian-roulette game at a Las Vegas casino.
If someone has had unprotected sex with someone whose status is unkown (so much like many of the people's last names people do not know when they hook up),....then yes.......you had a risk.
AIDS does not discriminate.....gay, straight, etc.
All too often this attitude is causing the epidemic of HIV/AIDS perpetuate all the more. As in AFRICA, where 41 million have AIDS.....hmm....from homosexual sex? I THINK NOT!!
First of all, I am not on here to JUDGE anyone or anybody's behavior, lifestyle, etc....as SO MANY ON HERE DO!
I just do not get the emphasis on GAYS and AIDS.
NEWS ALERT!!!!: AIDS DOES AFFECT HETEROSEXUALS!!
Dumbo,
I think you have a lot to offer to the forum, I think you need to "TwEAK" (no pun intended) your advice a little. Your advice often seems all-too-much one-sided, ...such as "Well, if your not a homosexual, etc..)
The truth of the matter is,.....your giving advice to a LIVNG BREATHING human being on the other end of this computer. What if,......for instance you are talking to someone you have provided then "6 week valid test ****" to and finds out that he really had HIV , but did not know it because he actually achieved antobody production by the 8weeks? In the mean time he could have affected his wife, etc..
I am not being mean, and I am not judging people on their sexual orientation, etc.
All too often people on here are thinking, : "GEE, I AM NOT GAY, SO I DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY".
YES, statisitcally yes, but.....what about the "what if's?....would you want to be that what if?"
and besides, in my opinion, HIV is not a guessing game or a stats russian-roulette game at a Las Vegas casino.
If someone has had unprotected sex with someone whose status is unkown (so much like many of the people's last names people do not know when they hook up),....then yes.......you had a risk.
AIDS does not discriminate.....gay, straight, etc.
All too often this attitude is causing the epidemic of HIV/AIDS perpetuate all the more. As in AFRICA, where 41 million have AIDS.....hmm....from homosexual sex? I THINK NOT!!
"he is truely a courageous person"
Why do you say this Brian? I see children who are far far more courageous than he is with far more debilitating diseases that they did not ask for and never complain about. So what makes him courageous? Simply becaus ehe has aids? he has lived for 20+ years with it. I have seen people die from nasty diseases (children included) that take you far quicker. So, he has it pretty good to still be alive don't you think?
It is sad to see anyone's life affected by death, disease and or hardship, truly. But to say he is some kind of hero simply because he has AIDS has left me perplexed.
He is very selfish and self centered based on the many posts I have read from him. He is NOT an expert, having a disease does not make one an expert at all. A TRUE, expert, such as Dr. HHH, will tell the truth about the realities of a disease,not constant fear mongering that scares people needlessly.
Let me also say,that HIV is now being compared to other diseases that can be managed with due care....such as Diabetes. HIV patients take pills, Diabetics inject. But with care to lifestyle lives can be extended for almost a "normal" lifespan. I have read this even from HIV infected people on aidsmeds.com and will show the links if I can find them again. HIV/AIDs deaths are down dramatically from the date of the outbreak. Drugs are getting better, and more is known about how to manage it (i.e. medications, proper nutrition, exercise etc). People only panic about HIV because of the 80's and how much the media published about how AIDS was killing gay males so quickly. So today, this "stigma" is still there and fear of AIDS is apparent (look at this forum). am I saying it is ok to put yourself at risk??...not at all!!. But what I am saying is people should be informed about the progresses being made. Of course the other end of the spectrum is people, such as young gay/bi males, are having and will have sex without condoms and increase the HIV infection rate because they figure that an HIV cure has been found. Its a double edged sword. I personally think, give people correct accurate "honest" information and then they can make up their own minds what risks they are willing to take. Nobody can stop them but let me tell yuo that fear based agendas are wrong. People become "worn" down by them and eventually say "fffkkk" it and throw all caution to the wind. Studies have been done on this very subject.
Condom use is obviously on the decline for the above reason. People are tired of it. Shoudl they be using them? yes of course. But looking at the STD rates for more common easier to get STD's, it is clear condoms use is not the norm.
Anyway,please answer my question.
thanks
Why do you say this Brian? I see children who are far far more courageous than he is with far more debilitating diseases that they did not ask for and never complain about. So what makes him courageous? Simply becaus ehe has aids? he has lived for 20+ years with it. I have seen people die from nasty diseases (children included) that take you far quicker. So, he has it pretty good to still be alive don't you think?
It is sad to see anyone's life affected by death, disease and or hardship, truly. But to say he is some kind of hero simply because he has AIDS has left me perplexed.
He is very selfish and self centered based on the many posts I have read from him. He is NOT an expert, having a disease does not make one an expert at all. A TRUE, expert, such as Dr. HHH, will tell the truth about the realities of a disease,not constant fear mongering that scares people needlessly.
Let me also say,that HIV is now being compared to other diseases that can be managed with due care....such as Diabetes. HIV patients take pills, Diabetics inject. But with care to lifestyle lives can be extended for almost a "normal" lifespan. I have read this even from HIV infected people on aidsmeds.com and will show the links if I can find them again. HIV/AIDs deaths are down dramatically from the date of the outbreak. Drugs are getting better, and more is known about how to manage it (i.e. medications, proper nutrition, exercise etc). People only panic about HIV because of the 80's and how much the media published about how AIDS was killing gay males so quickly. So today, this "stigma" is still there and fear of AIDS is apparent (look at this forum). am I saying it is ok to put yourself at risk??...not at all!!. But what I am saying is people should be informed about the progresses being made. Of course the other end of the spectrum is people, such as young gay/bi males, are having and will have sex without condoms and increase the HIV infection rate because they figure that an HIV cure has been found. Its a double edged sword. I personally think, give people correct accurate "honest" information and then they can make up their own minds what risks they are willing to take. Nobody can stop them but let me tell yuo that fear based agendas are wrong. People become "worn" down by them and eventually say "fffkkk" it and throw all caution to the wind. Studies have been done on this very subject.
Condom use is obviously on the decline for the above reason. People are tired of it. Shoudl they be using them? yes of course. But looking at the STD rates for more common easier to get STD's, it is clear condoms use is not the norm.
Anyway,please answer my question.
thanks
on, I've really thought about it (with Teak's help ironically...through his rudeness lol)
I have been on here for a couple of years. It is hard to convey tone on the web, but I DO KNOW that Teak does know what he is talking about. As far as I see it, even though Teak has HIV, he is truely a courageous person. Nonetheless, he is here to give the CORRECT advice, not the advice of some fools on here who know absolutely nothing about HIV/AIDS. After all, I see no reason why he would WASTE his time answering anxiety-driven threads to people who have no risk,...after all, he does not have to, and as far as I have been on here, he has given out concrete assurance to people who have or have not had a sexual/drug risk.
I have been on here for a couple of years. It is hard to convey tone on the web, but I DO KNOW that Teak does know what he is talking about. As far as I see it, even though Teak has HIV, he is truely a courageous person. Nonetheless, he is here to give the CORRECT advice, not the advice of some fools on here who know absolutely nothing about HIV/AIDS. After all, I see no reason why he would WASTE his time answering anxiety-driven threads to people who have no risk,...after all, he does not have to, and as far as I have been on here, he has given out concrete assurance to people who have or have not had a sexual/drug risk.
Wow, that's alot of reading to take in, but high thanks dumbo!
I'm going to have to read it again in parts, break it down to try to really understand it all.
I'm sure I'll have more questions then...
Thanks to you too joey.
You've given me alot of terms to just look up and understand.
As for the "grandmother" situation, I think I have that under control now. And no, I don't think she's completely heartless, she just doesn't have a keen sense of reality and obviously no respect for people (including herself). DIGINITY!! Gotta have diginity and it's one thing you should never give away!
And you're right, and I never did leave the kids in her watch anyway.
I'm not going to lie about the situation, I've really thought about it (with Teak's help ironically...through his rudeness lol), I'm not sure whether I paniced because I was looking for MORE reason to eliminate her out of our lives or what. I mean I could say I wouldn't do that and so far I haven't, but it's not because I haven't wanted to (nothing to do with HIV), I just don't think she's any type of role model of my children. I struggle with how do I teach them to love unconditionally, yet understand that what she does is NOT acceptable. (Parents, I know you understand what I'm trying to say) and also, I just don't like to be around her. No one would, all she does is whine and ask for money, throws herself a 'pity party' and I have no tolerance for that, because as I mentioned, she doesn't TRY to help herself!
She's not a victim of life, she's just a user!
But enough on that tangit.
Thanks again guys!
I'm going to have to read it again in parts, break it down to try to really understand it all.
I'm sure I'll have more questions then...
Thanks to you too joey.
You've given me alot of terms to just look up and understand.
As for the "grandmother" situation, I think I have that under control now. And no, I don't think she's completely heartless, she just doesn't have a keen sense of reality and obviously no respect for people (including herself). DIGINITY!! Gotta have diginity and it's one thing you should never give away!
And you're right, and I never did leave the kids in her watch anyway.
I'm not going to lie about the situation, I've really thought about it (with Teak's help ironically...through his rudeness lol), I'm not sure whether I paniced because I was looking for MORE reason to eliminate her out of our lives or what. I mean I could say I wouldn't do that and so far I haven't, but it's not because I haven't wanted to (nothing to do with HIV), I just don't think she's any type of role model of my children. I struggle with how do I teach them to love unconditionally, yet understand that what she does is NOT acceptable. (Parents, I know you understand what I'm trying to say) and also, I just don't like to be around her. No one would, all she does is whine and ask for money, throws herself a 'pity party' and I have no tolerance for that, because as I mentioned, she doesn't TRY to help herself!
She's not a victim of life, she's just a user!
But enough on that tangit.
Thanks again guys!
Again, excuse me if I am missing something - I am not reading the entire thread.
Basically, there are multiple factors that determine whether HIV gets transmitted or not - viral load, viral genetics, host genetics, presence of other STDs, tears in the mucosal surface and many others. Random luck also plays some part in this. Certain practices are riskier than others, with receptive anal sex being by far the riskiest sexual practice. Why? Well, for one thing the rectum is lined with only a single layer of epithelial cells, while the vagina is lined with a stratified layer of cells. It is easier for HIV to get through a single layer of epithelium than the thick vaginal epithelium.
So you probably know by now that infectious body fluids are semen, blood, vaginal fluids and breast milk. Saliva, tears and sweat are not considered infectious for HIV - only small amounts of active virus found there. Going back to your situation, the only way your children could be exposed to HIV is if they are exposed to her blood, i.e. if she deliberately pokes herself in the vein and then injects the kids. She would have to be pure evil to do that! I do not think you need to worry about that much. On the other hand, if she is a drug abuser and a prostitute I would think twice about leaving kids on her watch anyway. But that is for you to decide and it is a completely HIV-unrelated issue.
All the best to you
Basically, there are multiple factors that determine whether HIV gets transmitted or not - viral load, viral genetics, host genetics, presence of other STDs, tears in the mucosal surface and many others. Random luck also plays some part in this. Certain practices are riskier than others, with receptive anal sex being by far the riskiest sexual practice. Why? Well, for one thing the rectum is lined with only a single layer of epithelial cells, while the vagina is lined with a stratified layer of cells. It is easier for HIV to get through a single layer of epithelium than the thick vaginal epithelium.
So you probably know by now that infectious body fluids are semen, blood, vaginal fluids and breast milk. Saliva, tears and sweat are not considered infectious for HIV - only small amounts of active virus found there. Going back to your situation, the only way your children could be exposed to HIV is if they are exposed to her blood, i.e. if she deliberately pokes herself in the vein and then injects the kids. She would have to be pure evil to do that! I do not think you need to worry about that much. On the other hand, if she is a drug abuser and a prostitute I would think twice about leaving kids on her watch anyway. But that is for you to decide and it is a completely HIV-unrelated issue.
All the best to you
Legit questions. It is a tough disease to get yes, thankfully. It is a deadly disease but ironically a fragile one until it infects. the virus must travel from inside one person to inside another with RNA strands intact. the virus must then find a t cell in the blood, once inside it can prepare to replicate. If infection happens, it begins to replicate almost immediately. HIV is not like a flu or cold virus which lives in the lungs/throat etc which crosses a mucous membrane easily. HIV does not cross easily and it takes large concentrations to infect. Hence the reason tears and saliva are not infectious because concentrations are too low to infect. Saliva also contains certain enzymes that kill HIV. This is why your kids are not at risk for HIV when exposed to these circumstances.
Blood and semen are different stories. They both contain high concentraitons of HIV, and given the right pathways into a persons body (i.e. direct blood contact) can cause infection. Vaginal fluids typically contain lower concentrations of hiv as well and the infectious fluid is typicall found deeper in the vagina at the cervix, not at the opening or near the opening.
why does it seem people have to work at getting hiv? Well, make no mistake, it only takes once. It is not a cumulative effect. But, because it is a fragile virus, it does not necessarily infect every time unless the moons and stars are lined up f you know what I mean. Patterns of bahvior are the leading predictors of infection. That is why so much emphasis is placed on this specific area. HIV needs blood contact to infect and it needs a large concentration to do so. there have been many many reports of serodiscordant couples (male/male, or female, male) who have had unprotected sex for years and the negative partner did not become infected. there are obviously several that have though too but not as many as one would think.
Anything I have ever read says the same thing. The bum is not meant for sex. Period. It is prone to trauma from intercourse and bleeding will usually occur. The vagina is built for insertion and giving birth. So there are alot protections in place by the body to "block" invaders. How often do yo usee blood with vaginal intercourse? I have but only when it is dry, as in being drunk and horny and trying to have sex. Otherwise it is rare. The surface contact area of the vagina is larger than a mans only opening thru the urethra. For such a fragile virus to infect a man thru his urethra without any other ports of entry (i.e herpes sores, cuts, etc) cross a mucous membrane, find the correct cells, and "park" itself to then begin replicating is a tough journey. when it has direct blood access, the journey is not so tough.
You may think alot of people have HIV, and worldwide when you include Africa, yes there are alot ~40million or so total.....diabetes affects 20million in the US alone. Anyway, HIV only infects about 0.3% of the total US population and is concentrated on specific groups for the most part. There has been ~1000000 infections since 1985, cumulative. Not much in the big scheme of things. Don't get me wrong, I am sad when any human life is affected and lost by disease, or even natural causes. But the infection rates are not as dynamic as they want you to believe. The original estimates in the 80's were dire and threatened over 1/3 of the population so they said...never happened and never will.
I always use porn as an example. How many times does a porn star have sex with random partners in a day? week? month?? how many of them are there? lots!! The HIV infection rate is only about 3-4 per year from what I can find. Alot of anal sex takes place in these films too. Not sure about gay porn although I have read that there is new concern due to a lack of condom use now. It is not because of frequent testing although that does help, the test is only good for the day it was done.
So in closing, it is a hard disease to get. But by living certain lifestyles the risks are higher, but not guaranteed either. Goto bathouses and have sex with multiple men over and over and chances are very high for infection. Stick a used needle in your arm and chances are very high as well.
I am no expert and there are none in this forum. I highly suggest you ask Dr.HHH some of these questions that he will answer very clearly for you and without all the abuse you took here.
Blood and semen are different stories. They both contain high concentraitons of HIV, and given the right pathways into a persons body (i.e. direct blood contact) can cause infection. Vaginal fluids typically contain lower concentrations of hiv as well and the infectious fluid is typicall found deeper in the vagina at the cervix, not at the opening or near the opening.
why does it seem people have to work at getting hiv? Well, make no mistake, it only takes once. It is not a cumulative effect. But, because it is a fragile virus, it does not necessarily infect every time unless the moons and stars are lined up f you know what I mean. Patterns of bahvior are the leading predictors of infection. That is why so much emphasis is placed on this specific area. HIV needs blood contact to infect and it needs a large concentration to do so. there have been many many reports of serodiscordant couples (male/male, or female, male) who have had unprotected sex for years and the negative partner did not become infected. there are obviously several that have though too but not as many as one would think.
Anything I have ever read says the same thing. The bum is not meant for sex. Period. It is prone to trauma from intercourse and bleeding will usually occur. The vagina is built for insertion and giving birth. So there are alot protections in place by the body to "block" invaders. How often do yo usee blood with vaginal intercourse? I have but only when it is dry, as in being drunk and horny and trying to have sex. Otherwise it is rare. The surface contact area of the vagina is larger than a mans only opening thru the urethra. For such a fragile virus to infect a man thru his urethra without any other ports of entry (i.e herpes sores, cuts, etc) cross a mucous membrane, find the correct cells, and "park" itself to then begin replicating is a tough journey. when it has direct blood access, the journey is not so tough.
You may think alot of people have HIV, and worldwide when you include Africa, yes there are alot ~40million or so total.....diabetes affects 20million in the US alone. Anyway, HIV only infects about 0.3% of the total US population and is concentrated on specific groups for the most part. There has been ~1000000 infections since 1985, cumulative. Not much in the big scheme of things. Don't get me wrong, I am sad when any human life is affected and lost by disease, or even natural causes. But the infection rates are not as dynamic as they want you to believe. The original estimates in the 80's were dire and threatened over 1/3 of the population so they said...never happened and never will.
I always use porn as an example. How many times does a porn star have sex with random partners in a day? week? month?? how many of them are there? lots!! The HIV infection rate is only about 3-4 per year from what I can find. Alot of anal sex takes place in these films too. Not sure about gay porn although I have read that there is new concern due to a lack of condom use now. It is not because of frequent testing although that does help, the test is only good for the day it was done.
So in closing, it is a hard disease to get. But by living certain lifestyles the risks are higher, but not guaranteed either. Goto bathouses and have sex with multiple men over and over and chances are very high for infection. Stick a used needle in your arm and chances are very high as well.
I am no expert and there are none in this forum. I highly suggest you ask Dr.HHH some of these questions that he will answer very clearly for you and without all the abuse you took here.
Just wondering...(and please no bashing)...
As I'm trying to educate myself and as I'm reading these boards, everything makes it sound as if it's near impossible to get HIV. I mean it's almost like you have to work at it.
(I know that's not the case)....but if it's sooooo hard, then why do sooooo many people have it?? Seriously?
I understand the whole "drug and sharing needles"...
And I guess I understand the "gay man" a little (less than the needles but more than the others)...
But what about the women that were raped, or the women (like in my 'grandmother' case, all other factors aside)....that claim it was a 'one time' intercourse. (We all have heard, in fact, it only takes once...which is pointless to say anyway, right? Of course it only takes ONCE)...
What about the straight men?
Or even the gay men... I get that intercourse there (anal) will likely cause more tears than a guy have (vaginial) intercourse with a girl, but isn't the logic in EITHER case not the same?? It still has to get IN there through a tiny opening.
Though I guess with a girl you have natural lubricants too (Vaginially)...
whereas on the other side, the 'dryness' could cause tears in that male as well (this goes for any male experiencing anal intercourse, whether with male or female btw, I would just think it's safe to assume that gay men have more anal intercourse than straight men though obviously)
(Not trying to be graphic, just kind of thinking out loud.)
Anyway, I'm reading and reading and it's almost like unless you shoot drugs you really have to work hard to be infected, not as hard as if you're a gay man (who too have to work for it more than the drug users).
But, I know that can not be the case, so why all the reassurances that it's near impossible to get it, yet so many people have it?
Just makes me wonder if the 'science' of it is all correct or if things are not being stated just in attempt to avoid public panic.
I'm not trying to be 'stupid'---I've seen the post that even I believe are just outragous, (as lil' as I know about the matter) and I sincerely hope that wasn't the class I was thrown into, thus the reasoning for the earlier insults, I'm being sincerely honest...curious for knowledge. ACCURATE knowledge though.
Thanks!
As I'm trying to educate myself and as I'm reading these boards, everything makes it sound as if it's near impossible to get HIV. I mean it's almost like you have to work at it.
(I know that's not the case)....but if it's sooooo hard, then why do sooooo many people have it?? Seriously?
I understand the whole "drug and sharing needles"...
And I guess I understand the "gay man" a little (less than the needles but more than the others)...
But what about the women that were raped, or the women (like in my 'grandmother' case, all other factors aside)....that claim it was a 'one time' intercourse. (We all have heard, in fact, it only takes once...which is pointless to say anyway, right? Of course it only takes ONCE)...
What about the straight men?
Or even the gay men... I get that intercourse there (anal) will likely cause more tears than a guy have (vaginial) intercourse with a girl, but isn't the logic in EITHER case not the same?? It still has to get IN there through a tiny opening.
Though I guess with a girl you have natural lubricants too (Vaginially)...
whereas on the other side, the 'dryness' could cause tears in that male as well (this goes for any male experiencing anal intercourse, whether with male or female btw, I would just think it's safe to assume that gay men have more anal intercourse than straight men though obviously)
(Not trying to be graphic, just kind of thinking out loud.)
Anyway, I'm reading and reading and it's almost like unless you shoot drugs you really have to work hard to be infected, not as hard as if you're a gay man (who too have to work for it more than the drug users).
But, I know that can not be the case, so why all the reassurances that it's near impossible to get it, yet so many people have it?
Just makes me wonder if the 'science' of it is all correct or if things are not being stated just in attempt to avoid public panic.
I'm not trying to be 'stupid'---I've seen the post that even I believe are just outragous, (as lil' as I know about the matter) and I sincerely hope that wasn't the class I was thrown into, thus the reasoning for the earlier insults, I'm being sincerely honest...curious for knowledge. ACCURATE knowledge though.
Thanks!
If this is the case, and she is into this lifestyle, I would not hesitate to cut all ties with her, son or not.
Now, back to the forum, not sure what to say on the claim of HIV infection she has made, whether it is true or not. But, I have seen this before, especially in drug users and alcoholics, where they lose sense of reality and do not even realize what is real anymore.
But again, if she does have HIV, then your children will not get it from her in a household setting as has been mentioned.. On the other hand, I am sure you will never leave them alone with her, not even for a second....because of past history.
she could definitely have got HIV with her lifestyle no ifs ands or buts about it. Drugs, multiple sex partners probably without condoms, you bet she could get it. Patterns of behavior ar ethe biggest predictors for hiv infection. She seems to have it all.
good luck
Now, back to the forum, not sure what to say on the claim of HIV infection she has made, whether it is true or not. But, I have seen this before, especially in drug users and alcoholics, where they lose sense of reality and do not even realize what is real anymore.
But again, if she does have HIV, then your children will not get it from her in a household setting as has been mentioned.. On the other hand, I am sure you will never leave them alone with her, not even for a second....because of past history.
she could definitely have got HIV with her lifestyle no ifs ands or buts about it. Drugs, multiple sex partners probably without condoms, you bet she could get it. Patterns of behavior ar ethe biggest predictors for hiv infection. She seems to have it all.
good luck
I think "mentally unstable" is a generally nice way to put it!
Thank you for your response!!
I don't think she uses needles. I don't know that for sure. I do know that she does drugs (whatever she can get her hands on), but I don't think it's in the form of 'shooting up', I've never seen track marks anyway. But then I don't know tons about drug usage either.
To my knowledge the HIV that she claims to have been infected with (as mentioned above, we're not so sure now that she didn't make it up), was supposedly caught (is that the right term?) through intercourse with a guy.
In all honesty, she basically prositutes herself to guys for money and things. I mean, she doesn't walk the streets or anything, but informally, that's what she does. And my understanding of it, is that's what she has always 'operated' (that coming from family members)
I do not trust her to take ANY precautions to protect my children (who are too young at the moment to know any better and protect themselves). I don't know that she would 'intentionally' expose them (I can't fathom someone being THAT demented), but at the same time I can't say she would 'intentionally' try not to either. (If that makes sense).
Nevertheless, thanks again for your response.
I'm actually learning a lot about what's a risk and what's not, it's great help in dealing with this! (should this be true, and even if not, it's a great educational experience in just helping to learn about and understand this virus/disease, I will one day (when they are older) need to educate my children about this, not just because of her, but in general.)
Sincere thanks!
Thank you for your response!!
I don't think she uses needles. I don't know that for sure. I do know that she does drugs (whatever she can get her hands on), but I don't think it's in the form of 'shooting up', I've never seen track marks anyway. But then I don't know tons about drug usage either.
To my knowledge the HIV that she claims to have been infected with (as mentioned above, we're not so sure now that she didn't make it up), was supposedly caught (is that the right term?) through intercourse with a guy.
In all honesty, she basically prositutes herself to guys for money and things. I mean, she doesn't walk the streets or anything, but informally, that's what she does. And my understanding of it, is that's what she has always 'operated' (that coming from family members)
I do not trust her to take ANY precautions to protect my children (who are too young at the moment to know any better and protect themselves). I don't know that she would 'intentionally' expose them (I can't fathom someone being THAT demented), but at the same time I can't say she would 'intentionally' try not to either. (If that makes sense).
Nevertheless, thanks again for your response.
I'm actually learning a lot about what's a risk and what's not, it's great help in dealing with this! (should this be true, and even if not, it's a great educational experience in just helping to learn about and understand this virus/disease, I will one day (when they are older) need to educate my children about this, not just because of her, but in general.)
Sincere thanks!
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