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Avatar universal

Rough Percentage of Good and Bad News Around Here

As I wait for my results from a Home Access test (3 days to go), I can't help but wonder what the rough percentage of good and bad news is on this site. Obviously, there are many people obsessing about things that are no risk at all, so I'm more concerned with legimate risk and how the results turned out.

I know I'm not asking a question that has an exact answer, but some of you seem to have been around here for a while, so I'm wondering if there are any opinions out there on the matter.

Me, I've been obsessing about swollen lymph nodes for over a month now. Not noticabley swollen, but on close inspection, you can see a slight buldge on one side of my neck and lower stomach/upper groin. I can't say I've had any other real percievable ARS symptoms (that weren't also attributed to anxiety), but these lymph nodes seem to just not be getting any better. Does anybody know if as an ARS symptom, the lymph node swelling persists, or does it come and go with the other symptoms?

Anyway, I've found this site both helpful and taxing (obsessing seems to be a common theme around here).

At any rate, I'll get the results soon. And as I've read here many time before, that will be the only real peace of mind. I'll keep you posted.

Thanks and good luck to you all.
12 Responses
Avatar universal
I know how you are feeling.  I can't offer much comfort other than to say I am in the same boat with you.  I have feelings I can't explain to go along with the lymph nodes especially in groin lower stomach area like pain in hands and feet and muscle aches.  I have been dealing withe them for a little over a week now and if I wasn't freaked out enough before the nodes now I am through the roof.  This is BS.  I had a one time stupid drunken exposure.  I can't stand it, but I know I am going to be the 1 in the 1/2000 stats.  I wish you good luck my friend on your test results.  I am sure you will be fine.  I know the odds are in your favor.  I don't know your exposure but maybe both of us will get through this.  
Avatar universal
Well, I guess if there is any good news, it's that misery loves company. And yeah, we are in a very similar situation. I celebrated St. Paddy's Day in drunken fashion, topped off by going home with a female who I knew little to nothing about. Had one-time, unprotected sex with her.

Thinking rationally, all of my worries would have to take into account that she WAS infected, but I can't seem to think that even if that were the case, the 1/2000 odds are not good enough.

The problem with this whole deal is that every answer seems to be so vague. You get good news here and then sink right back into depression with another answer.

I've seen several doctors (primarily because I first thought the neck tension was cancer), and all of them sent me away without concern. But even that is concerning, because you hear that ARS can sometimes be very mild.

Whatever the case, I guess we just have to deal with our mistakes and learn from them. I'm just hoping that you and I (and the many others) don't have to learn the extremely hard way.

I'll keep you posted. I'm hoping to be able to come back here and put some fears at bay. Until then, that phone call is going to be one of the most difficult things I've done in life. Thanks for the good wishes.
Avatar universal
I am with you on the whole risk assessment deal.  I really don't think that anyone has a good grasp on it.  I appreciate your wishes and I too will keep you posted.  I have posted a question to the Doctor, but he hasnt answered it yet.  Maybe he can give us some words of encouragement.  But it doesnt matter cause whatever he says the only thing that is going to tell us anything is test results.  

What week are you in?  I didn't see that in your post.  Have you had a 6 week test yet?  I had the 6 week test but it only alleviated my pain for that day.  I went right back to the depths of desparity.  THIS SUX.  
Avatar universal
I'm right at six weeks (from Saturday night). Pricked my finger last night and sent the Home Access test in this morning. I think I'll get the news by Thursday or Friday.

I'm pretty willing to accept those results and move on. I don't feel sick (never really did, but did at one point have a 100 temp), but the lymph node mania is what keeps driving my paranoia.

If I get a negative result, then I'll see a doctor to see if there is any other concern with the nodes, but I really do need to put this behind me if I am fortunate enough to get good news.

It is comforting to know that you seem to be in a similar situation and have come back with a negative result. Have you seen a doctor since your negative result? I'm just wondering if these "mystery node symptoms" can be anything else, whether STD or other illness.
Avatar universal
i can understand why you feel anxious. symptoms are never reliable in determining someones hiv status.period. only testing at the right time.
your test ~ 6-8 wks, am i right? i didnt get your timeline. if your test comes out negative, it will be a strong indicator of your status. however, a confirmatory test @ 3mos, or 12-13 wks is definitive and conclusive by cdc's, drbob, aidsmed, most states health department.  
SYMPTOMS do  not = HIV,
good luck. were all here while you play the waiting game. if any conselation, most of us here, had symptoms like yours. some had every hiv consistent symptom and turned out negative.
your doing the right thing on getting tested.
Avatar universal
I just found this in one of your other posts (you can tell I'm doing a great job of getting off this site).

"The chance that she is positive is less than 1% assuming that you are dealing with a woman who is not from Subsaharan Africa or an underdeveloped country."

If that's true, well it helps put my mind at ease a bit. What I need to keep going back to is that for me to get this disease, it takes more than just a moral lapse of judgement; the young lady would have had to have been infected. Granted, I don't think she was a pillar of moral virtue, but I'm hoping that this was as rare for her as it was for me.

But why the damn lymph nodes then!
Avatar universal
I second that!  Why the dam lymph nodes!
Avatar universal
Hey buddy,

Okay, I know the Internet is the cause of much of our anxiety, but this might help:

http://www.aafp.org/afp/981015ap/ferrer.html

Sure, HIV is one of the causes here, but looks like there are a ****load of other causes as well. Not saying any of those would be a dream, but most gotta beat the alternative.

Really, good luck to ya. Test again at 12 weeks and then you gotta let it go.

My countdown for results is on. Please wish me luck.
Avatar universal
No I haven't seen a doctor as I haven't felt sick eihter until right now.  I feel awful.  All I want to do is lay down and go to sleep, and you know that equals HIV to me.  I hate this so bad.  I don't have a fever it is 98.2 right now, but my temperature is crazy.  Up and down. Low sometimes, but never over 98.6.  I don't understand it.  It drops down to like 96.5 sometimes.  This is scaring the unowhat out of me.  The stupid lymph nodes are sending me over the top.  I can feel the ones at the side of my crotch, but If I remember correctly I always could.  And I can feel one on both sides of my neck that are pretty big, but they have always been there.  I made sure that when I had the exposure first thing I noted the size of the nodes on my neck because I knew they would worry me later on.  They are big but they always have been. The ones under my stomach are not something I have ever noticed before, but this is the first time that I have ever went digging around for nodes.  My only hope is that I made some of them hurt by picking at them.  They don't feel all that big, but its real hard to judge.  I am scared to death to go to the Doctor, and I am scared to death to get tested again in 2 weeks which will be 12 weeks.  I wish I could accept the 6 week test but I just don't feel right.  Sunny Girl scared me because she tested neg at 3 weeks and then pos at 9 weeks.  She said the only symptom she had was the nodes.  I was in control of myself until these nodes in my pelvis came up, and after reading that post from sunny girl I freaked bad.  I have had tons more symptoms than the nodes.  
Avatar universal
Well, it appears I've met my match. Sorry, but if you can't laugh. . .

First, I also read a bit and posted with Sunnygirl. First, from what I've heard (on here mind you), six weeks is the first real indicator and three weeks would not be. I'm now of the opinion that 6 weeks is a pretty safe bet, but for reassurance, 3 mos. should eliminate any further worry.

Second, Sunnygirl also had me worried with her nodes symptom. But in a later post, she said that they were so incredibly swollen that people were commenting on them without her saying anything about them. Mine are definitely cause for concern, and I too am completely freaked. The one on my neck is larger than it should be for sure, but it's only visable when I stretch my neck up. Most people I've tried to show them to, think I'm nuts. So I'm holding out hope that these nodes are a result of something else. My biggest concern is that there seems to be no change, for better or worse, over the last month. I can't understand this. I really want to go back to my doctor, but wonder if I should get the results back first.

I'm certainly not discounting your fears; I'm right there with you man. What you have on your side is a six week negative. In fact, I envy you and hope to be in your shoes by the end of the week.

Again, my recommendation would be to go to a doctor. You're driving yourself nuts right? Your first test was negative. I'm wondering if there is some sort of post-sex guilt disease that is far easier to catch than HIV. I hope so. For me, the not knowing is the hardest part.

I think you're fine if it makes you feel any better.
Avatar universal
Yep.  Im nuts alright.  Beyond crazy at this point.  I think I might go to a shrink and ask for some medicinal help.  Or just start smoking dope.  LOL.  Haven't done that in many many years.  I think you might be right on the money with the post sex guilt disease.  Maybe worth researching.  I think after all of this we will all be dangerously knowledgable of HIV.  We should use the information and our stories of fear and agony to warn society about what we are going through and try and put an end to this disease.  But, like Doc H has said, fear tactics don't work.  We all love sex, and at the time it seems worth the risk.  Only after you back up and pull out (sorry for the pun) do you think "hey this is stupid".  I don't know about you but I didn't even enjoy my exposure at all.  And I wouldn't even have looked twice at the girl if not for all of the liquor.  
Avatar universal
FFP, look at it this way, being crazy is better than being sick. Hope for crazy.

As we've already discussed, you and me - we the same. Before I even considered HIV, I was convinced that I had mouth/neck cancer. I had been a smoker for a while and was still using chewing tobacco when I started feeling tension in my neck and even my face. This sent me into an anxiety spiral where I couldn't eat, I was nauseous and completely distracted.

When the doctors told me that I certainly didn't have cancer, but that I did have some swelling in my lymph nodes, one of the people I work with sent me a link to HIV symptoms as a joke. Well ha ha. I've been a wreck ever since.

As for the exposure itself, your right; certainly not worth the six weeks of agony I've gone through. I was drunk, she was drunk, so not exactly a moment I cherish. I'm single and unattached, so it could be worse, but it's hard to convince me of that when my anxiety gets raging. Whatever the result, I am a changed man. I know that is easy to say without a drop of beer in me, but I know that I never want to go through this ever again. It's miserable as everyone here knows.

I feel for you man, I really do. As much as it is cathartic to be on this site, it also feeds into my anxiety. But it goes back to the topic of my thread. Though nobody has really answered it, it is my sense that there is much more good news posted on results than bad. I hope to God and get to join them at the end of the week.
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