Avatar universal

Scared and looking for advice

Hi everyone,
I know you are probably all going to say it's already been answered by other people's questions but I've been doing the stupid thing and googling symptoms, ways of transmission etc and worrying my self insane to the point where I can't focus or sleep without thinking about it.

About 10 days ago I met with a guy, he gave me oral sex and I ejaculated into his mouth. I did put my mouth on his penis but was for around 20-30 seconds. I asked him afterwards if he was clean of everything and he advised that he was. I thought everything was okay but yesterday I've woken up with a sore throat and bit of a cough and the scare has hit me hard around catching HIV and that I was really stupid in my actions. The sore throat seems to have gone today.

I didn't notice any cuts or anything on his mouth but online searches seem inconclusive as to whether or not there is any risk and I was hoping someone could enlighten me and hopefully finally put my mind to rest on if I could possibly have caught HIV and should be tested? I phoned a sexual health helpline and they said that its classed as low risk but possible to be infected and I have to wait 4 weeks to be checked but I understand there's specialist s on here who may be able to tell me more. I'm so concerned I have a young family and feel I've become distant becomes of what I've done but also because of what I could have that I don't want to engage with my wife in anything.

Thanks in advance.
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Avatar universal
This answers all of your HIV questions, and if you can think of any more just reread about the 3. You had zero risk therefore  testing is irrelevant to your situation because you had zero risk. HIV is a fragile virus, which is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.  
Only 3 adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal with a penis
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex with a penis
3. sharing needles that you inject with.
The only way to get HIV is if you did one of the 3. The situation you describe is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. This HIV science is 40 years old and very well established, so no detail that you can add to your encounter will change it from zero risk. Because of all the research statistics, doctors have calculated the risk from what you describe to be less than that of being hit by a meteor, therefore no one will get HIV from what you did in the next 40 years of your life either.
If you didn't have one of the 3 then you are just worrying about your own hiv theory - which is unrealistic for you to think that can become reality - so you should move on back to your happy life instead.
Do not waste your time worrying about a theoretical risk that has never manifested or else you have to start worrying about real ones like meteors or taking E Coli tests after every meal.
Helpful - 0
Thank you, I was fine until I had a sore throat googled it and hit the worst. I've spoken to the person and they have told me multiple times they are completely clean as well it mostly guilt and a lot of fear too. But thank you.
188761 tn?1584567620
Oral sex is not a risk. Testing isn't needed. Please read about HIV and it's transmission in the FAQ section of this forum and move on.
Helpful - 0
Thank you, just out of curiosity why is there so much confliction on this around?
Conservative information and incorrect reporting by couple of individuals who tested positive for HIV.

We rely on the opinion of expert doctors so do not pay attention to any article you can find on the internet or we will be here all day.
Some sites use conservative guidelines worrying about a theoretical that has never manifested in 40 years, so how useless is that? Reread about meteors.
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