3 years ago? This is a long time to worry and especially since it is a non risk. Protected sex is not a risk for HIV. HIV is only transmitted from unprotected vaginal or anal sex or sharing IV drug needles. These issues you speak of are not related to HIV. Stop worrying about this.
Can protection fail and does symtoms now means any thing
I often have symtoms like swollen nodes not considerable but painful also i have coldsores often
If a condom fails it is a large rip down the seam and it hangs in tatters and is hard to take off. Obviously that didn't happen or else both of you would have known when you tried to take it off but the ring kind of stuck it one. Micro tears are a myth. You don't have any medical training so should not be poking and irritating your lymph - and you shouldn't be self diagnosing that there is something wrong with your lymph when the problem is likely your poking. If you think you are the only person in the world who often had cold sores then you should talk to your doc or pharmacist because they will advise you there is medication that LOTS of people take for this problem.
Move on from hiv fixation, and stop trying to be a doctor because it has made you waste 3 years of your life in fear, worrying about your own ideas that a doctor could have straightened you out on.
Its now 1 month after amy jaw lymphnodes or my submandibular gland can be felt can this be a recurring sign of somthing bad
You aren't a doctor and don't have any medical training, so the best thing that you can do for yourself is to stop pretending that you know what lymph and glands are supposed to feel like, because the more you poke then you just end up making more wrong guesses. See doc because he can look at them and explain to you that you are wasting your short life fooling yourself with self-diagnosis.