I'm going crazy received oral from positive partner

[OMGnooo1295]

I've received oral from a hiv positive partner, initially he said he was neg, couple weeks later I asked him again and he admitted to be positive.

Im totally freaked out . I've tested day 9 with RNA viral load negative in combination with 4 gen test negative.

I've also tested again day 16 rapid ag/ab combination and 4th gen from vien sent to lab negative.

Tested again day 25 rapid ag/ab combination negative.

Tested day 28 rapid ag/ab combination negative.

According to the clinic where I went to get blood work, staff there told me rapid tests are very reliable, and would have picked this up by the third or fourth week. And not to test anymore until 3 months because I could not get it like this.

I'm very nervous by this also I know the risk is low but I am having date today symptoms, mainly body aches joint pain, aching muscles slight abdominal pain. Could this be psychosomatic symptoms? Could this be related to stress? Or aniexty? Because I do feel slight pains it's making me very nervous. I also had a oral swab test done day 28 from a different facility. Are all these tests too early? Has anyone ever been infected like this? please leave your comments.

[Chima7]

I think you really need to pull yourself together and seek counseling. Your reaction to a literal non event is so over the top that it really requires professional mental health intervention that is far outside the scope of what this message board can provide to you. I strongly advise you to seek out a therapist with whom to address these very serious issues before you end up hurting yourself or someone else.

[mike_no]

You were never at risk. Recieving oral sex undoubtedly is not a risk.

There has never been a single documented case of infection in that fashion.

Please move on from this event, you do not need to test any further.

[OMGnooo1295]

I know sorry but please just taking second have mercy on my soul and just listen to hear me out. Why is my body feeling like this though I never had these problems before I'm a 23 year old male. mighty funny I'm having all these joints pains and discomfort now. it also feels like my throat is shut most of the time it's not HIV then what is it.

[OMGnooo1295]

Also would you trust a 28-day rapid test?

[mike_no]

It seems you are just 'afraid' and that is leading you to think in irrational ways, which is further leading to classic anxiety symptoms. I am going to tell you something, the mind is very powerful, you will be surprised what it can do to your body when you are constantly anxious.

In the last decade this forum has been there to see numerous people complaining about such symptoms with out any potential risk, it was almost always the irrational fear prevailing over logic for most of them, there is no point going that route. Sit down, think wise and let this be put behind you. You had no risk, HIV is not transmitted in that manner and you are not going to be the odd one. There is a science behind this whole thing; saliva won't let you get infected, you can't go wrong with that.

If you are unable to be strong and think in the right direction, evaluate your options to see a counselor.

I am going to reiterate, despite of your partner being HIV positive, she / he won't be able to transmit the virus from oral sex.

Good luck.

[mike_no]

Most important thing to do right away, QUIT reading about HIV on the internet. The more you read it, the more your anxious mind imagines it on yourself.

[OMGnooo1295]

Really appreciate you guys this is REALLY reassuring, had to go out and get second opinions sorry I'm being a bit of a hypochondriac .THE aniexty and fear of HIV is really high. I lost my job ,my car I sold it, gambled the money I'm back on herion trying to run away from the fear and cover it up alcohol but it keeps coming back on my mind ,I was clean for 2 years. The fear of this hiv made me run back to the drug. (B T W I NEVER SHARED NEEDLES IN MY LIFE)I will try to get back on my feet. I WILL GET BACK ON MY FEET!

[mike_no]

It is usually seen, most people that relapse use 'reasons' to tell themselves that it is okay to do drugs now. Don't be that escapist.

We understand that drug addiction is a mental disease, you need to see a therapist at the soonest for that.

I assure you that you are fine and nothing is going to happen to you from this one. You are more likely to die sooner from heroin, that's a valid worry to have.

Life is beautiful, do the right thing. This forum is specific to HIV prevention only and we have established that you don't have a concern that belongs here.

Good luck.