Avatar universal

Should I get tested or just move on?

Hi -

My situation involves anal sex with a transsexual CSW in Feb where I was the insertive partner. I had a few drinks. This was my first time having sex with a TS and (actually I thought initially a woman and was a vaginal sex), but later realized I just had anal sex.

The anal sex was condom protected. I remember when finishing the condom was still on me which i just rolled out and threw out. Although I didn't see any apparent breakage, I am worried if there is possibility the condom broke and i didn't see it.

A couple of weeks later, I received unprotected oral sex from a female CSW for a few seconds, didn't ejaculate in her mouth.

I am visualizing a lot of what ifs and that is driving me crazy and on top of that I have had muscle and joint pains after incidents.

Based on the above two incidents, do I need to test for HIV? Did I put myself at risk?

Should I put off sex with my wife until tested?

I took the oraquick swab test at 32 days and was negative ( i know it is not conclusive until 8 weeks but was anxious)

Do I need to test again for hiv given the exposures? Thanks.
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Avatar universal

As there are people browsing this forum following a scare like I had, they might find it comforting to know I turned out negative.

Even if i was told i didnt put myself at risk, i couldnt accept it (mostly due to my feeling of guilt and predisposition for what if worries).

You are probably over weighing your risk in your head. Accept the experts' answers and move on.

Take care and good luck!

Helpful - 0
1. It would be impossible to be positive since you had no risk.
2. You don't get hiv every time you have unprotected anal with an hiv positive person, so your negative test does not prove that you had no risk however.
These are 2 separate unrelated concepts, so your test proved nothing, other than it correctly identified that you are negative.  Your test was a waste of time so it cannot create comfort for anyone else.
It was just a placebo test,  for you who did not believe the 40 year old science that medical researchers proved at least 39 years ago. Hopefully you don't worry anymore.
What is MOST important is that your turned out negative as expected as you has ZERO risk. Education and understanding what the real risks for HIV are is what we'd like people to know. You will not get HIV unless you have unprotected vaginal or anal sex or share IV drug needles. Glad you are finally at peace though.
3191940 tn?1447268717
The only risks for HIV in adults are:
1) Having unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or
2) sharing intravenous needles with IV drug users.

HIV enters through the urethra.  If a condom breaks and exposes the head of your penis, you would definitely notice.

You didn't have a risk for HIV and there is no reason to test for HIV.
Helpful - 0
Yes, as far as I can tell the condom was intact when finished and covered the head of my penis (recall semen collected inside condom too)

I will try to put this behind me and move on.

Thank you. God bless.
The condom would have ripped down the seam if it failed, so you don't have to do any close inspection to know that didn't happen.
Thank you.
Avatar universal
Condom protected sex is sufficient protection against HiV, as a rule when condoms fail they normally do so in a fashion that is obvious. They also provide complete protection against most other STI.

Secondly while unprotected anal (something you didn’t have) is risky been the giver not the urmmm taker is probably safer. Depending if your circumcised or not the risk is in the region of 1 in 150 encounters to 1 in 900 (less than 1%)

Thirdly we don’t know if this lady had unthreaded HIV. I don’t know where you based but it’s fairly well in check in most developed countries.

All this together I wouldn’t worry.

The unprotected oral sex is not a risk.

I can’t tell you wether to test again or not the oraquick test isn’t great, I personally wouldn’t test again.

In regards to your wife, again I probably would resume sex with my wife the risk of a positive test down the line is too low.

But now you know the facts it’s down to you.

Good luck.
Helpful - 0
Thank you for your reassuring comment.

Yes, there was nothing to suggest the condom broke (I even remember breathing sigh of relief looking at the condom when done and finding it on me and seemingly intact, recall my semen collected in it too).  I think I just feel guilty about what I had done.

Regarding the risk for the top being 1 in 900 case if circumcised (which I am), I read that too; but I also read the 26 fold increase if the person was recently infected and has STDs. So for the top unprotected anal sex, the potential risk could be ~ 3% per exposure. But I guess this doesn't apply to my case as I have used a condom correctly.

The incident took place in a third world country where HIV amongst sex workers is high (about 60%) of which about 2/3 are on medication. But I am assuming the worst and SW is +. But the condom did work (trying to hammer that in my head)

I feel guilty. I never cheated before and it is eating me up. That is probably the issue here.

Thank you. God bless.

It isn't uncommon for people to feel guilty, and then equate guilt with risk.  It's good that you realize that that's likely the issue here, since you didn't have a risk for HIV.  I do hope you are able to get past the guilt and fear, and find some peace.
Thank you.
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