As there are people browsing this forum following a scare like I had, they might find it comforting to know I turned out negative.
Even if i was told i didnt put myself at risk, i couldnt accept it (mostly due to my feeling of guilt and predisposition for what if worries).
You are probably over weighing your risk in your head. Accept the experts' answers and move on.
Take care and good luck!
The only risks for HIV in adults are:
1) Having unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or
2) sharing intravenous needles with IV drug users.
HIV enters through the urethra. If a condom breaks and exposes the head of your penis, you would definitely notice.
You didn't have a risk for HIV and there is no reason to test for HIV.
Condom protected sex is sufficient protection against HiV, as a rule when condoms fail they normally do so in a fashion that is obvious. They also provide complete protection against most other STI.
Secondly while unprotected anal (something you didn’t have) is risky been the giver not the urmmm taker is probably safer. Depending if your circumcised or not the risk is in the region of 1 in 150 encounters to 1 in 900 (less than 1%)
Thirdly we don’t know if this lady had unthreaded HIV. I don’t know where you based but it’s fairly well in check in most developed countries.
All this together I wouldn’t worry.
The unprotected oral sex is not a risk.
I can’t tell you wether to test again or not the oraquick test isn’t great, I personally wouldn’t test again.
In regards to your wife, again I probably would resume sex with my wife the risk of a positive test down the line is too low.
But now you know the facts it’s down to you.