Should girlfriend be tested for stds?

[coffeeholic323]

Hi,

I've been having unprotected sex with my girlfriend of 4 months, after she had an IUD put in a few weeks ago. I asked her if she had been tested for HIV and she said she was tested 2 years ago. Also she said she was tested a year ago when she asked her doctor to be tested, but does not know if HIV was tested for. She said her tests were negative (they took blood and urine). She had this last test after having unprotected sex (which she said was the only time she had done that since her first test). She is hispanic and lives in a high prevalence area in the southern United States.

Should I insist she take another HIV test?

[GuitarRox]

Hm, well, I am not sure anyone can insist another person gets an HIV test. Why don't you just take one?  I sincerely doubt she has HIV.  A one time experience like she had is less than 1 percent chance of transmission.  So, it's really pretty improbable.  My recommendation is that you just get a test for yourself.  

[coffeeholic323]

Thanks for the reply. I can ask her to take one, I don't think she would mind that much. If it's not necessary I would like to avoid that though. I've taken one around a year ago, and since then she is the only person I've been with unprotected. Since I am planning on continuing having unprotected sex with her, knowing my test results at this time does not give me much information on her. Thanks.

[GuitarRox]

Honestly, just take the test yourself. Why does she have to test again to make you feel better?  Take a test as you also need to take responsibility.  

[coffeeholic323]

Because I can test negative and she can still be positive

[AnxiousNoMore]

Well then, you have all the information needed to make your decision about what to do. There is nothing anyone can add to this so it is up to you to figure what you want to do. Good luck and enjoy your life.

[GuitarRox]

When did she sleep with the other guy?  Fine, ask her to get tested.  I think you should get tested though to protect her as well.  We're all grown ups here.  But it sounds like you've decided what to do so am not sure why all this discussion on it.  Tell her to test.  Whatever makes you happy.  

[coffeeholic323]

So I've talked with her, and she said she was tested a few weeks ago with the IUD. She said she asked to be "tested for everything" and had urine and blood taken, and all her results were negative. Is this sufficient to stop worrying about this or should she contact the doctor to confirm HIV was tested for?

[CurfewX]

No one here can tell you what to do.  Your level of worry is completely up to you.  The phrase, "tested for everything" is meaningless because no one can possibly be tested for every known disease on the planet.

[coffeeholic323]

I understand no here can tell me what to do, but it was an STD test not a test for every known disease. Wouldn't HIV usually be included in a std screen that takes blood?

[AnxiousNoMore]

As I mentioned before, you are talking to the wrong people since we do not work in the doctor's office. You need to ask the source (doctor) instead of asking us what his procedures would normally be.

[AnxiousNoMore]

She should ask her doctor if the test was for hiv and find if it was a duo which has a 4 week window because any other test window is 12 weeks. If her unprotected was before the window of that test then she is conclusively negative.
Alternatively, if her unprotected was before she started relations with you then she can take any test including over the counter test now for a conclusive result. Unless she tested conclusively at her doctor's, you will always have this fear of her possibly being positive hanging around so there is no reason for her to not test. Your post does not explain if you asked her already, but in these times it is unreasonable for someone  to not test before she starts having unprotected vaginal or anal with you. Oral is zero risk, btw.
If you test now, it doesn't prove you won't get it from her next week if she is positive and you continue relations so I don't see the purpose in going that route.

[coffeeholic323]

Thank you for the response. She said it had been over a month since her last doctors visit when she was tested. I feel like it will be too complicated for her to find out which kind of test, so I will probably ask her to get tested again.

[coffeeholic323]

Also, I'm not positive if HIV was tested for at this time. Would a doctor absolutely test for HIV in that scenario she had? And if so, wouldn't a doctor order the most reliable test?

[AnxiousNoMore]

Obviously no one here works in that office so we have no idea what optional tests were run. It is a waste of your time guessing so there is nothing else to say about that doctor.

[Paxiled]

I'd just add, nobody ever truly knows if their new sexual partner is telling the truth or not.  The fact she says such and such or you say such and such doesn't make that true.  To be certain and to be nice about it, suggest that since you're having unprotected sex maybe it would be best for both of you to get tested, whether or not you need to.  That way it doesn't sound unequal.  In the meantime, if you're concerned, use a condom.  As said above, it's unlikely either of you have it, but unlikely isn't you or she can't have it.  It's just not a terrible idea for new partners who don't really know each other super well yet to be sure if you feel the need to feel sure.