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Today was 13 weeks.... and I got tested
For anyone who might care to read about my case:
I have been in my relationship ( 2 males ) for almost 6 years. We assumed we were devoted to each other after the 2nd year and stop using the condom, we thought we were "married and monogamus". Last year we lost the sexual interest in each other to the point where we had sex once a month or so. My boyfriend wasn't satisifed at all and cheated in October when I was in a trip abroad. While doing so, he had unprotected anal sex ( not sure which way he was ) and got infected with HIV virus. Unknowingly, we then had unprotected anal sex ( me as "top", like always) in Dec 18. and then again in Jan 19.
Around november, my boyfriend developed what was a big ball the size of a golf ball on the back of his neck since mid, which is quite consistent with the arrival of ARS symptoms and his claim he got infected in October. He asked his general doctor and he was merciless: it can be a ball of fat but if not, you either have Cancer or HIV. My Bf. connected the dots, thought he should get tested, voila, HIV+.
Do you know what is like to have your 6 year long boyfriend with whom you have had unprotected sex for the last 3 years to tell you he is +HIV? "Devastating" doesn't begin to describe. I didn't know he had cheated recently until much later after my negative test so I thought I had been exposed like 40 or 50 times. I got tested the very same day he recieved his results and came back negative, that was around 3 weeks after last encounter. I suffered the worst 2.5 months of anxiety and fear I have had in my life. I had a nervous breakdown at around the 8th week so I went to test again to end this horrible "window period" nonsense. It also came back negative. I tried to find peace in the fact that a 8+ test is extremely unlikely to change. Sometimes I managed, sometimes I was down with hopelessness. Somehow, days went by and the day arrived:
Today is April 19. exactly 91 days, 13 weeks and 3 complete months after risky exposure.
I went to the labs, got tested and prayed to have strength to face whatever result.
I just learned it came back Negative again. By the guidelines of the main HIV health organization of my country, my main general doctor and my boyfriend's HIV specialist, I am done with this. I am ready to move on.
I am still to reflect upon this and try to use this experience to grow and learn.
Lesson: NEVER trust people, in regards to sexual health.
thanks to everyone that wished me well all these weeks.
I have been in my relationship ( 2 males ) for almost 6 years. We assumed we were devoted to each other after the 2nd year and stop using the condom, we thought we were "married and monogamus". Last year we lost the sexual interest in each other to the point where we had sex once a month or so. My boyfriend wasn't satisifed at all and cheated in October when I was in a trip abroad. While doing so, he had unprotected anal sex ( not sure which way he was ) and got infected with HIV virus. Unknowingly, we then had unprotected anal sex ( me as "top", like always) in Dec 18. and then again in Jan 19.
Around november, my boyfriend developed what was a big ball the size of a golf ball on the back of his neck since mid, which is quite consistent with the arrival of ARS symptoms and his claim he got infected in October. He asked his general doctor and he was merciless: it can be a ball of fat but if not, you either have Cancer or HIV. My Bf. connected the dots, thought he should get tested, voila, HIV+.
Do you know what is like to have your 6 year long boyfriend with whom you have had unprotected sex for the last 3 years to tell you he is +HIV? "Devastating" doesn't begin to describe. I didn't know he had cheated recently until much later after my negative test so I thought I had been exposed like 40 or 50 times. I got tested the very same day he recieved his results and came back negative, that was around 3 weeks after last encounter. I suffered the worst 2.5 months of anxiety and fear I have had in my life. I had a nervous breakdown at around the 8th week so I went to test again to end this horrible "window period" nonsense. It also came back negative. I tried to find peace in the fact that a 8+ test is extremely unlikely to change. Sometimes I managed, sometimes I was down with hopelessness. Somehow, days went by and the day arrived:
Today is April 19. exactly 91 days, 13 weeks and 3 complete months after risky exposure.
I went to the labs, got tested and prayed to have strength to face whatever result.
I just learned it came back Negative again. By the guidelines of the main HIV health organization of my country, my main general doctor and my boyfriend's HIV specialist, I am done with this. I am ready to move on.
I am still to reflect upon this and try to use this experience to grow and learn.
Lesson: NEVER trust people, in regards to sexual health.
thanks to everyone that wished me well all these weeks.
that is awesome!!!! somebody somewhere was definitly watching over you! you have dodged a bullet i would of probably assumed i was infected and killed myself if that was me you are very strong
Thank you so much for your reply. I hope and pray to God He will be give me another chance in life. Again, so many thanks.
Helpme649, really you have my best wishes and prayers, I look forward to your negative results at all weeks.
but please, you have to take it easy, you know why? Because being HIV+ is not the end of your life, I often thought " what if I am infected?" and the answer was " well, I'll take measures, I have done my research and I have learn about my enemy enough to be able to fight it and be strong to defend myself from all this, I'd make it through".
This happens to us so that we learn what we are made of, it can destroy you either through anxiety alone if negative or through that and killing good cells if positive, but you have to fight no matter what, all of you people that went through this, don't stay down, be strong and face life with courage.
Now, Extreme anxiety has consequences in the body, particularly in the nervous system and if you don't take care of yourself you'll need medication for that. the nights prior to my 8th week test were the deepest point in my nightmare, I had to go to a hospital because I had some strange anxiety attack and my head hurt like crazy, it was the extremest of anxieties, I was prescribed "Tafil", don't know if you know that one. I am still feeling the physical effects of anxiety myself, I think it all will go away as time goes by.
I also suggest you don't see this as a "second chance", because that is to admit you did something wrong and that you were forgiven, thus having a "second chance". I did nothing wrong, I was " married " and was cheated on by my Bf, of course I learn the lesson of using safe sex 100% of the time from now one till the end of my life, but that's it, there is no mystical or spiritual foundation to our HIV status', (+ or -), its pure science.
best wishes, and please BE STRONG, you will triumph no matter what.
ED535, your risk was extremely low. look the archives and you'll see you are the most common case of paranoia that almost always doesn't result in infection.
but please, you have to take it easy, you know why? Because being HIV+ is not the end of your life, I often thought " what if I am infected?" and the answer was " well, I'll take measures, I have done my research and I have learn about my enemy enough to be able to fight it and be strong to defend myself from all this, I'd make it through".
This happens to us so that we learn what we are made of, it can destroy you either through anxiety alone if negative or through that and killing good cells if positive, but you have to fight no matter what, all of you people that went through this, don't stay down, be strong and face life with courage.
Now, Extreme anxiety has consequences in the body, particularly in the nervous system and if you don't take care of yourself you'll need medication for that. the nights prior to my 8th week test were the deepest point in my nightmare, I had to go to a hospital because I had some strange anxiety attack and my head hurt like crazy, it was the extremest of anxieties, I was prescribed "Tafil", don't know if you know that one. I am still feeling the physical effects of anxiety myself, I think it all will go away as time goes by.
I also suggest you don't see this as a "second chance", because that is to admit you did something wrong and that you were forgiven, thus having a "second chance". I did nothing wrong, I was " married " and was cheated on by my Bf, of course I learn the lesson of using safe sex 100% of the time from now one till the end of my life, but that's it, there is no mystical or spiritual foundation to our HIV status', (+ or -), its pure science.
best wishes, and please BE STRONG, you will triumph no matter what.
ED535, your risk was extremely low. look the archives and you'll see you are the most common case of paranoia that almost always doesn't result in infection.
thanks for your words it helps so much !!!!!, you and i shared the same awful nightmare because our couples were confirmed hiv + , and we didn´t know , tears roll down my face everytime i think about it, i brake down and cry so many times a day!!! i feel im going to loose my mind, anxiety is killing me.... specially a few days before the next test (april 24th 8,5 weeks) i hope is negative
i need you to keep praying for me. please!
once again congratulations!!!!!. you have a "second chance" now, i know you will make the best of it . best wishes
i need you to keep praying for me. please!
once again congratulations!!!!!. you have a "second chance" now, i know you will make the best of it . best wishes
Congratulations! I am happy for you, that you were able to handle to anxieties for a long long time. Thanks God for saving you. I am also in the process of waiting to take my 13 week test. Already got a negative at six weeks. my exposure was a single unprotected vaginal sex with a prostitute with unknown status. Could you kindly advise me and help me assess my status? i am so stressed out and having extreme anxiety. i plan to test again at 8 weeks. pls. advise me. Thank you so much and again, congratulations!!!
Hi LFanswers, it was a one time unprotected vaginal sex with girl of unknown status. so i am hoping this risk will be negative at 13 weeks like you.
baller, if I remember your case correctly, yours was a one time unprotected vaginal sex with girl of unknown status, right?
the nature of the risk coupled with a negative 8 week test puts you at virtually only one possible direction: negative.
in fact I wonder why I haven't seen anyone here turn positive after a negative result, at whatever time interval...
I am beginning to think that false negatives ( due to whatever ) are far, far more uncommon and rare than we actually think. This reaffirms my belief that HIV tests are damn good and tell no lies. If you got it, they will point at it right away. You won't go on collecting negative results, just to have the 4th or 5th turn into positive ( given no extra exposures took place ).
the nature of the risk coupled with a negative 8 week test puts you at virtually only one possible direction: negative.
in fact I wonder why I haven't seen anyone here turn positive after a negative result, at whatever time interval...
I am beginning to think that false negatives ( due to whatever ) are far, far more uncommon and rare than we actually think. This reaffirms my belief that HIV tests are damn good and tell no lies. If you got it, they will point at it right away. You won't go on collecting negative results, just to have the 4th or 5th turn into positive ( given no extra exposures took place ).
LFanswers congrats! I am happy for you. I have had a negative 8 week result so far. I pray to God I am as fortunate as you when I go for my 13 week result.
thanks everyone
at first I didn't want to believe the data, that negative tests past 6-8 weeks are extremely unlikely to change but I guess I am just one of many, many cases that confirm that fact.
I have learned SO much about HIV in the last weeks, that I feel like an authority in my circle of friends! hehehe, the amount of misinformation is astounding: you know, people that believe the window period consists of waiting 6-7 years until you show signs of progression to AIDS and that only then you get positive results on tests, nonsense completely.
Helpme649, I really wish you test negtive at all weeks, you just stay calm and don't let anxiety control you. Take one step at a time and if it happens to you like it happened to me, then you will be able to separate the HIV thoughts from normal life, specially after you get tested past the 8th week with a 4th generation Elisa ( which would be pretty much confirmatory). You know, people that are positive aren't going around collecting negative results.... You have 2 already. Assuming you haven't had any other exposure, I really don't see how things could go bad for you. The tests these days, I must say, are damn good. They are merciless, but very reliable. If I remember correctly, you had one past 6 weeks. Trust that, and for extra reassurance, test at 9 weeks, then start letting go.
Frank303, thanks for your support. We all have to try to move on. I know you guys know how it feels, it's like you played russian roulette for real and you lived to tell.... I try to not make a drama out of this, that I was lucky and given " a second chance" and so on because after all, this was all science and if I had HIV, well... I would have to take measures, it wouldn't be the end of all. Who knows, maybe in 7 years I die in an accident and my partner outlasts me and lives 20 years on meds... Life is just a playground, I don't believe in luck that much. This experience made me realize that sooner or later, health problems will arise. I better make the best ouf of my life before that time comes.... I suggest everyone to actually "believe" in their conclusive test results and actually "take the risk" of living a life as a HIV negative person, DESPITE the rumors and myths of seroconversion at whatever ammount of months.
Consider this: Lab tests are FACTS, internet/google searching for rumors,myths,strange and rare cases is a bad habit driven by anxiety and shoudln't be trusted, no matter if it's doctor Bob or Massachusets or whatever.
you people surf the web all you like but please make sure you only consider as legitimate the following 2 sources:
.- An HIV- Specialist in your community, that has long long years of experience, that has seen everything that has to be seen in regards to HIV/AIDS. Doctor HHH or Doctor Who CAN NOT possibly judge anything via the net! it has to be FACE TO FACE. An HIV specialist in your city/country will know what labs are reliable, what generation tests are avaliable in your city, and how long your window period should be. If you are in Sydney, perhaps your Window period is conclusive at 8 weeks, perhaps in Papua New Guinea you should re-test at 6 months but this has to be determined by a STD/HIV specialist, NOT a general doc. Don't ask nurses or your "General Doctor", they will confuse the hell out of you and will must likely not be up to date with HIV matters.
.- Every developing and/or 1st world country has a main health organism specially devoted to HIV and/or STDs. Call them and ask for their guidance, they will tell you what your window period is, they will tell you what you need to know.
NEVER give more weight to opinions on the internet than to your docs' in your city.
I hope that helps.
at first I didn't want to believe the data, that negative tests past 6-8 weeks are extremely unlikely to change but I guess I am just one of many, many cases that confirm that fact.
I have learned SO much about HIV in the last weeks, that I feel like an authority in my circle of friends! hehehe, the amount of misinformation is astounding: you know, people that believe the window period consists of waiting 6-7 years until you show signs of progression to AIDS and that only then you get positive results on tests, nonsense completely.
Helpme649, I really wish you test negtive at all weeks, you just stay calm and don't let anxiety control you. Take one step at a time and if it happens to you like it happened to me, then you will be able to separate the HIV thoughts from normal life, specially after you get tested past the 8th week with a 4th generation Elisa ( which would be pretty much confirmatory). You know, people that are positive aren't going around collecting negative results.... You have 2 already. Assuming you haven't had any other exposure, I really don't see how things could go bad for you. The tests these days, I must say, are damn good. They are merciless, but very reliable. If I remember correctly, you had one past 6 weeks. Trust that, and for extra reassurance, test at 9 weeks, then start letting go.
Frank303, thanks for your support. We all have to try to move on. I know you guys know how it feels, it's like you played russian roulette for real and you lived to tell.... I try to not make a drama out of this, that I was lucky and given " a second chance" and so on because after all, this was all science and if I had HIV, well... I would have to take measures, it wouldn't be the end of all. Who knows, maybe in 7 years I die in an accident and my partner outlasts me and lives 20 years on meds... Life is just a playground, I don't believe in luck that much. This experience made me realize that sooner or later, health problems will arise. I better make the best ouf of my life before that time comes.... I suggest everyone to actually "believe" in their conclusive test results and actually "take the risk" of living a life as a HIV negative person, DESPITE the rumors and myths of seroconversion at whatever ammount of months.
Consider this: Lab tests are FACTS, internet/google searching for rumors,myths,strange and rare cases is a bad habit driven by anxiety and shoudln't be trusted, no matter if it's doctor Bob or Massachusets or whatever.
you people surf the web all you like but please make sure you only consider as legitimate the following 2 sources:
.- An HIV- Specialist in your community, that has long long years of experience, that has seen everything that has to be seen in regards to HIV/AIDS. Doctor HHH or Doctor Who CAN NOT possibly judge anything via the net! it has to be FACE TO FACE. An HIV specialist in your city/country will know what labs are reliable, what generation tests are avaliable in your city, and how long your window period should be. If you are in Sydney, perhaps your Window period is conclusive at 8 weeks, perhaps in Papua New Guinea you should re-test at 6 months but this has to be determined by a STD/HIV specialist, NOT a general doc. Don't ask nurses or your "General Doctor", they will confuse the hell out of you and will must likely not be up to date with HIV matters.
.- Every developing and/or 1st world country has a main health organism specially devoted to HIV and/or STDs. Call them and ask for their guidance, they will tell you what your window period is, they will tell you what you need to know.
NEVER give more weight to opinions on the internet than to your docs' in your city.
I hope that helps.
Congratulations on your negative result!
It's true you can't trust anyone these days. The woman I was with turned out to be a prostitute not the just out of a marriage person she made out.
It's true you can't trust anyone these days. The woman I was with turned out to be a prostitute not the just out of a marriage person she made out.
hi Lfanswers
congratulations!!!!!, congratulations!!!!! congratulations!!!!im so happy for you, thank God!!!!!
i wish you the best in life from now on, i hope you can move on, is going to take sometime to heal but everything is going to be ok , its ok already !!!! you are ok!!!!
this is the worst nightmare ever!!!!
im now in my 8 th week, i will test next week and in 13 week, the nightmare isn´t over for me. my prayers to all
congratulations!!!!!, congratulations!!!!! congratulations!!!!im so happy for you, thank God!!!!!
i wish you the best in life from now on, i hope you can move on, is going to take sometime to heal but everything is going to be ok , its ok already !!!! you are ok!!!!
this is the worst nightmare ever!!!!
im now in my 8 th week, i will test next week and in 13 week, the nightmare isn´t over for me. my prayers to all
WOW hell of a story... you got lucky then, awesome:) be carefrul, and use saftey....condoms.
I do agree with your statement...you cannot trust anyone regrading sexual status... sadpart of being human, is people often want what they want, without informing you thier possible risy past.Its easy of course, to give in to someone offering sex, but, the WISE thing to do, in todays day and age, is jsut say no...
I read an article month ago, 1 in 4 or 5 schoolgirls has an STD< a statistic showed...
now, if thats jsut teenagers, imagine grownups!!!
I do agree with your statement...you cannot trust anyone regrading sexual status... sadpart of being human, is people often want what they want, without informing you thier possible risy past.Its easy of course, to give in to someone offering sex, but, the WISE thing to do, in todays day and age, is jsut say no...
I read an article month ago, 1 in 4 or 5 schoolgirls has an STD< a statistic showed...
now, if thats jsut teenagers, imagine grownups!!!
I am sorry that you went through all of this! I am glad that you survived this difficult time in your life. Congratulations on your negative result. =)
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