look, you are not alone in this.
I know it is hard accepting being negative, especially when you are in a vicious circle of mind and body signs and symptoms like you describe. I do not know what the solution is. Life is a long window period, after all...
the thing is that you are HIV negative, but that is totally besides the point, no test will be enough for some time.
Then magically one morning you will wake up and all this will be a memory, and maybe something will be learned from all this, about ourselves
because HIV is not a disease like any other. It pushes so many buttons inside us, it feeds on guilt, social preconceptions..
(and do not abuse tests, because they have a false positive rate which can perhaps make you more miserable...or perhaps not
hang in there, my HIV negative friend
it just seems there are so many of us, i think you have it right that it does push all the buttons inside of us. i for one long forward to that morning i can wake up and be my old self again but i also know as we get older and i will turn 56 on my next birthday , things do go wrong especially if we are not taking care of our bodies, mine has been so stressed out the past 8 months its amazing that it hasnt done me in. thanks for your kind reply
I will be 46 in a few months, and I have been in your same exact situation for 7 months now, I almost lost my job. I tested for HIV so many times, out to six months, that is not even funny. I obsess about every little thing going on with my body and make myself miserable going over the internet to check out reports of late seroconversions in the four corners of the world....tonite I am feeling good, but I know that soon anxiety will prevail again and drag my mind and my body down ...
there are some nites i just want to throw the computer out the window, its been a year now since my maybe exposure. last elisa test was 4 weeks ago that tested for hiv 1 and 2 and o , 99.84-100 percent sensitivity. anxiety even with xanax never leaves me.
Yes I understand how you are feeling because Im on the same situation after all those symptoms negative for 7 times I still believe I'm positive that was on 2004. I think every day the symptoms and later my result negative.