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boyfriend cheated - hiv risk
I'm a 23 yo female, who just got an hiv test yesterday. The results won't be back in for 1-2 weeks, so I'm sitting here waiting, and worrying.
I'm wondering about my hiv risk, since up until recently I thought I was extremely low risk. I've had 4 sexual partners my entire life, and never concurrently.
Partner 1 tested negative, and we still used condoms. Partner 2 was not tested, and we used condoms every single time (there was never oral sex). Partner 3 was a one night thing when I was very drunk - he performed oral sex (unprotected). Partner 4 is my current boyfriend and my *concern*. About 5 months ago, I found out he may have cheated, with a very promiscuous girl - friend of his. about a month after that, in the heat of our problems and arguemnts, when I was very anxious, I began having night sweats - they began when I went off my birth control pills after 3 months of continous use (for menstrual suppression) and the night sweats stopped at the end of the week. My best friend tells me it's probably because I was just anxious but I'm not sure.
My current boyfriend also gave me HSV-1 infection of the genital area about 6 months ago during oral sex (he was shedding the virus after his cold sore had healed), though it has not recurred and 2 doctors have reassured me it is unlikely to reoccur ever again.
I am extremely scared because my lymph nodes in my neck (only) enlarged when I was having my HSV-1 outbreak, and I had a fever. I know these are all signs of HIV infection. I'm also worried that I may be positive for HIV even though I have never used needle drugs, have only had unprotected sex with one person, ever, and there is a good chance this person may have cheated on me with a very promiscuous person, on more than one occasion.
I also have a sore throat, cough and enlarged lymph nodes now, though I know this is an infection that has been going around at work (half of my coworkers are sick with a cold this week).
What is my likelihood of infection? I am waiting for my results, but even the idea of walking into that room to get the results makes me want to cry. I've never been tested and it took a lot for me to go and get the test done. My heart is already pounding very fast, as I think about the fact that my boyfriend's infidelity may have caused me to contract HIV :(
I'm wondering about my hiv risk, since up until recently I thought I was extremely low risk. I've had 4 sexual partners my entire life, and never concurrently.
Partner 1 tested negative, and we still used condoms. Partner 2 was not tested, and we used condoms every single time (there was never oral sex). Partner 3 was a one night thing when I was very drunk - he performed oral sex (unprotected). Partner 4 is my current boyfriend and my *concern*. About 5 months ago, I found out he may have cheated, with a very promiscuous girl - friend of his. about a month after that, in the heat of our problems and arguemnts, when I was very anxious, I began having night sweats - they began when I went off my birth control pills after 3 months of continous use (for menstrual suppression) and the night sweats stopped at the end of the week. My best friend tells me it's probably because I was just anxious but I'm not sure.
My current boyfriend also gave me HSV-1 infection of the genital area about 6 months ago during oral sex (he was shedding the virus after his cold sore had healed), though it has not recurred and 2 doctors have reassured me it is unlikely to reoccur ever again.
I am extremely scared because my lymph nodes in my neck (only) enlarged when I was having my HSV-1 outbreak, and I had a fever. I know these are all signs of HIV infection. I'm also worried that I may be positive for HIV even though I have never used needle drugs, have only had unprotected sex with one person, ever, and there is a good chance this person may have cheated on me with a very promiscuous person, on more than one occasion.
I also have a sore throat, cough and enlarged lymph nodes now, though I know this is an infection that has been going around at work (half of my coworkers are sick with a cold this week).
What is my likelihood of infection? I am waiting for my results, but even the idea of walking into that room to get the results makes me want to cry. I've never been tested and it took a lot for me to go and get the test done. My heart is already pounding very fast, as I think about the fact that my boyfriend's infidelity may have caused me to contract HIV :(
and yeah, bleeding from every opening (i.e. the eyes in particular) would be scary... not to mention ebola is even more virulent and easily transmittable...
fewf. with these new stats from http://www.actoronto.org/website/home.nsf/pages/hivaidsstatsont, I calculated that only about 5-8 women in my risk group category get HIV per year in Ottawa... that's much better :)
hopefully I'm not one of them! :/
hopefully I'm not one of them! :/
You can find the local stats for cities by googling say, Ottawa HIV statistics.
In my city, there are ~1200 total HIV/AIDS cases since 1985. Only about 200 are women and unfortunately most are either native or from endemic countries.
I am glad someone finally took the time to actually look at the surveillance data instead of jumping n the bandwagon to yell it is an epidemic that will wipe us all off the planet when it is far from it.
Worry about Ebola if it makes it here. Now that is a deadly scary disease.
In my city, there are ~1200 total HIV/AIDS cases since 1985. Only about 200 are women and unfortunately most are either native or from endemic countries.
I am glad someone finally took the time to actually look at the surveillance data instead of jumping n the bandwagon to yell it is an epidemic that will wipe us all off the planet when it is far from it.
Worry about Ebola if it makes it here. Now that is a deadly scary disease.
haha, how did you know im persian? all i said was that im middle eastern... that could mean like a thousand different nationalities...
how soon did you get your results? the woman at the lab told me i had to wait for it to be sent to the national centre for disease control, then back to the clinic (so 1-2 weeks)...?
how small is the ottawa hiv rate? i hope you're right. I woke up today feeling even weaker than usual, and i had tingling in my left foot between my toes (something like ARS-related peripheral neuropathy?) - could it be hiv?
sigh. 3-8 more days to go.
how soon did you get your results? the woman at the lab told me i had to wait for it to be sent to the national centre for disease control, then back to the clinic (so 1-2 weeks)...?
how small is the ottawa hiv rate? i hope you're right. I woke up today feeling even weaker than usual, and i had tingling in my left foot between my toes (something like ARS-related peripheral neuropathy?) - could it be hiv?
sigh. 3-8 more days to go.
ur persian and ur in ottawa! lol i am somewhat persian and i live in ottawa to! lol ottawas too small! but regardless ull be fine...the ontario % you looked at are mainly in toronto.!! I had a similair scare and tested 3months negative but ottawa hiv rate is very very very small!
no, i haven't used a condom with my boyfriend for the last year and a half... and my boyfriend cheated on me with a girl who has had unprotected sex with many guys. I didn't find out he cheated until 2 months after he did, and not because he told me, but because I read something I wasn't supposed to.... it might have been too late by then. If she or someone she had sex with had HIV, then I might be infected too...
anyway, it's probably not positive, my results are probably negative. I need to stop worrying, and be realistic... it's possible, but unlikely. I need to stop thinking about it for now I think. It's driving me crazy.
anyway, it's probably not positive, my results are probably negative. I need to stop worrying, and be realistic... it's possible, but unlikely. I need to stop thinking about it for now I think. It's driving me crazy.
So I used this site to do the math:
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/aids-sida/haic-vsac0605/pdf/haic-vsac0605.pdf
# of HIV+ tests in Canada in 2004=2,547
of those cases, 663 were among women
of total cases, 44.3% occurred in Ontario, so 44.3% of the 663 cases roughly can be expected to have occurred in Ontario = 294
out of the 294 cases, 5% were among people aged 20-29 (my age group) who were in the "other"/NIR/NIR-HET risk groups = 15 cases
so: only ~ 15 cases out of the 2, 547 cases occurred in women aged 20-29 in my risk group, in Ontario (about 0.6% of HIV+ tests occurred to women similar to me).
I guess that means I was being pretty paranoid :/
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/aids-sida/haic-vsac0605/pdf/haic-vsac0605.pdf
# of HIV+ tests in Canada in 2004=2,547
of those cases, 663 were among women
of total cases, 44.3% occurred in Ontario, so 44.3% of the 663 cases roughly can be expected to have occurred in Ontario = 294
out of the 294 cases, 5% were among people aged 20-29 (my age group) who were in the "other"/NIR/NIR-HET risk groups = 15 cases
so: only ~ 15 cases out of the 2, 547 cases occurred in women aged 20-29 in my risk group, in Ontario (about 0.6% of HIV+ tests occurred to women similar to me).
I guess that means I was being pretty paranoid :/
ok, I feel much better. It sucks that looking back now, I realize I could have been more careful, at least having requested my bf to get tested before it all happened.
rapid hiv test - should I get one? I live in Ottawa, I hardly think it would be worthwhile to go to the hospital to get a rapid test since I got my blood drawn 3 days ago... I think I'll just wait.
I'm scared though... they said that if they call to ask me to come in for my results, not to worry because it doesn't necessarily mean i'm HIV +.... they say they ask everyone to come into the clinic, whether the results are negative or positive.... is that true or are they just trying to calm me in case my result IS positive?
rapid hiv test - should I get one? I live in Ottawa, I hardly think it would be worthwhile to go to the hospital to get a rapid test since I got my blood drawn 3 days ago... I think I'll just wait.
I'm scared though... they said that if they call to ask me to come in for my results, not to worry because it doesn't necessarily mean i'm HIV +.... they say they ask everyone to come into the clinic, whether the results are negative or positive.... is that true or are they just trying to calm me in case my result IS positive?
Yes you are right about Canada and TO, Vancouver and Montreal. It also affects the aboriginal community pretty hard due to drug use, and incarceration, and some MSM.
I knew TO offered the rapid test at the hassle free clinic and they do in community health buses as well from what I have been told. It is only logical to offer it to the remaining public as well. I hope they do but I think Canada was waiting to see how well the tests did before jumping in.
I knew TO offered the rapid test at the hassle free clinic and they do in community health buses as well from what I have been told. It is only logical to offer it to the remaining public as well. I hope they do but I think Canada was waiting to see how well the tests did before jumping in.
In Canada there is a high HIV rate in the gay communities, I will never be one to say it is a gay thing cause I know it is not but in Canada it is highly concentrated in this area, why who knows. I am also in Canada (toronto) and if you are close by call the hassle free clinic cause they have been around since the beginning and they know there stuff also you can get a rapid test there. As of know it is the only place in canada but this fall it will be available in more clinics..
"about 0.5% of the population"
You are wrong. The hiv infection rate in the Canadian population is only ~0.1%. To break it down further, higher concentrations of HIV infected people are found in 3 major centers. As a matter of fact, over 80% of hiv infections in Canada have been diagnosed in these 3 geographic areas steadily since 1985. These centers also have the highest rates of IV drug users and a large gay population. Toronto also has the largest immigrant population, and they are noted in the data as from an Endemic country which accounts for the rise in HIV infections in most women. The facts are all readily available for anyone to see. I say this because our local gay HIV infected supermoderator will be here anytime to call me a liar.
But here are some references again, a courtesy that is not returned by the super moderator.
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/aids-sida/haic-vsac0605/pdf/haic-vsac0605.pdf
http://www.actoronto.org/website/home.nsf/pages/hivaidsstatsto
http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/162/1/21
You are wrong. The hiv infection rate in the Canadian population is only ~0.1%. To break it down further, higher concentrations of HIV infected people are found in 3 major centers. As a matter of fact, over 80% of hiv infections in Canada have been diagnosed in these 3 geographic areas steadily since 1985. These centers also have the highest rates of IV drug users and a large gay population. Toronto also has the largest immigrant population, and they are noted in the data as from an Endemic country which accounts for the rise in HIV infections in most women. The facts are all readily available for anyone to see. I say this because our local gay HIV infected supermoderator will be here anytime to call me a liar.
But here are some references again, a courtesy that is not returned by the super moderator.
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/publicat/aids-sida/haic-vsac0605/pdf/haic-vsac0605.pdf
http://www.actoronto.org/website/home.nsf/pages/hivaidsstatsto
http://www.cmaj.ca/cgi/content/full/162/1/21
youre scared cause u think of it as death... its natural.
the chances are very slim. I really wouldnt worry. the odds are so slim.
she reacted like ud imagine....
the chances are very slim. I really wouldnt worry. the odds are so slim.
she reacted like ud imagine....
ok, i guess maybe my fears are irrational. thought... id hate to find out that im the first person posting in this forum that's actually gotten a positive hiv result. I've also heard that i could get a false positive if i have a viral infection already (which I do) - some kind of viral infection causing a sore throat and coughing...so should I be worried about that?
how did your gf take the news? what made you decide to tell her of your one-time sexual encounter after you had already tested negative?
thanks for all of the info and for sharing your story, I may actually be able to sleep tonight, as I get a lil bit closer to my results.
how did your gf take the news? what made you decide to tell her of your one-time sexual encounter after you had already tested negative?
thanks for all of the info and for sharing your story, I may actually be able to sleep tonight, as I get a lil bit closer to my results.
I didnt think I had swollen lymph nodes, I DO have them STILL.... and they have been confirmed by my doctor. The doc says its some viral illness but it has lasted almost 2 months now.
Night sweats are not being sweaty at night just to be clear, its a full blown fever were talking here. Going into the clinic at week 6 I was shaking and couldnt even remember the way out of the place, scared out my mind.
I am assuming I touched her somehow and touched myself thereby transmitting it. Or that the condom slipped on and off.
I got tested twice and recieved my results and then told my girlfriend.
I've had my 11 week negative and im not really worried about HIV anymore.
Night sweats are not being sweaty at night just to be clear, its a full blown fever were talking here. Going into the clinic at week 6 I was shaking and couldnt even remember the way out of the place, scared out my mind.
I am assuming I touched her somehow and touched myself thereby transmitting it. Or that the condom slipped on and off.
I got tested twice and recieved my results and then told my girlfriend.
I've had my 11 week negative and im not really worried about HIV anymore.
did you feel like you had swollen lymph nodes, night sweats, or any of those things... i definitely didn't imagine the night sweats. they were very real.
oh, yeah... and how did you handle going into the clinic to get your test results? I feel sick to my stomach whenever I think about the day I'll get my results. All I can imagine is a positive result, no matter how hard I try to see a negative.
Woah, how did the chlamyd happen with a condom? i'm assuming your HIV test came back negative.... since you wore a condom? I appreciate you sharing (i feel like i just bared my soul)... it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's worried about being infected, and I'm not feeling as scared anymore. So far, my best friend and you have been the only two people to have successfully calmed my fears. Everyone else including my mom seem to be kind of ignorant about the disease, or maybe it's just the people I know.
did you tell your gf it happened when you were panicking, or did you stay calm and get tested first, to be sure?
did you tell your gf it happened when you were panicking, or did you stay calm and get tested first, to be sure?
I agree its not supposed to happen to careful ppl.
And about the panic attacks, be careful, it may lead to permanent damages.
long story, been depressed about death in family was in thailand by myself away from my girlfriend got really drunk, being exotic and blond the the thai hookers really wanted me (wallet) I ended up shagging one... nice i know... I guess I didnt think much of it at the time, she was 19 or 20 and looked clean and normal.
Wore a condom, felt guilty and went to get tested just to be sure. And found out I had chlamydia, no idea how it happened.
Obviously I thought I had HIV and went through every symptom there is.
And about the panic attacks, be careful, it may lead to permanent damages.
long story, been depressed about death in family was in thailand by myself away from my girlfriend got really drunk, being exotic and blond the the thai hookers really wanted me (wallet) I ended up shagging one... nice i know... I guess I didnt think much of it at the time, she was 19 or 20 and looked clean and normal.
Wore a condom, felt guilty and went to get tested just to be sure. And found out I had chlamydia, no idea how it happened.
Obviously I thought I had HIV and went through every symptom there is.
I asked him to get tested, and he said he would, but then he said he wouldn't and backed out. He said he has no reason to get tested, since he still insists he never cheated on me with her, and being scared of needles, it didn't sit well with him.
He's also said that if he has a fatal disease, he'd rather just not know about it at all. He's said that many times... and that concerns me too...
He said he would get tested if there was another way of getting tested, besides getting his blood drawn, and went all the way to the clinic with me only to find out they dont offer the "rapid HIV test" in Canadian clinics, only in hospitals.
So I got tested, and he sat there in the waiting room for me.
He's also said that if he has a fatal disease, he'd rather just not know about it at all. He's said that many times... and that concerns me too...
He said he would get tested if there was another way of getting tested, besides getting his blood drawn, and went all the way to the clinic with me only to find out they dont offer the "rapid HIV test" in Canadian clinics, only in hospitals.
So I got tested, and he sat there in the waiting room for me.
haha, fair enough. hoping she doesn't. then the odds are more in my favour too I guess.
this **** isn't supposed to happen to careful people. Hopefully I don't die of a panic attack as I'm getting the news of my HIV positivity/negativity, especially if it turns out I'm negative. that would be a real shame. Otherwise, death from panic attack may be a better fate than dying a still-stigmatized HIV death.
at least if I die of a panic attack, people will laugh that I died in such an unlikely way?
ok, I feel a lil better.
By the way, what's your story - may I ask? are you as paranoid as I am about HIV infection?
this **** isn't supposed to happen to careful people. Hopefully I don't die of a panic attack as I'm getting the news of my HIV positivity/negativity, especially if it turns out I'm negative. that would be a real shame. Otherwise, death from panic attack may be a better fate than dying a still-stigmatized HIV death.
at least if I die of a panic attack, people will laugh that I died in such an unlikely way?
ok, I feel a lil better.
By the way, what's your story - may I ask? are you as paranoid as I am about HIV infection?
another thought, if this girl is so promiscuous surely she would have contracted chlamydia or something like it and had hiv tests done at the same time..
Just phone your old guy and tell him to get tested if you are so concerned .
Just phone your old guy and tell him to get tested if you are so concerned .
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