HIV Prevention Community
52.6k Members
Avatar universal

boyfriend cheated - hiv risk

I'm a 23 yo female, who just got an hiv test yesterday. The results won't be back in for 1-2 weeks, so I'm sitting here waiting, and worrying.

I'm wondering about my hiv risk, since up until recently I thought I was extremely low risk. I've had 4 sexual partners my entire life, and never concurrently.

Partner 1 tested negative, and we still used condoms. Partner 2 was not tested, and we used condoms every single time (there was never oral sex). Partner 3 was a one night thing when I was very drunk - he performed oral sex (unprotected). Partner 4 is my current boyfriend and my *concern*. About 5 months ago, I found out he may have cheated, with a very promiscuous girl - friend of his. about a month after that, in the heat of our problems and arguemnts, when I was very anxious, I began having night sweats - they began when I went off my birth control pills after 3 months of continous use (for menstrual suppression) and the night sweats stopped at the end of the week. My best friend tells me it's probably because I was just anxious but I'm not sure.

My current boyfriend also gave me HSV-1 infection of the genital area about 6 months ago during oral sex (he was shedding the virus after his cold sore had healed), though it has not recurred and 2 doctors have reassured me it is unlikely to reoccur ever again.

I am extremely scared because my lymph nodes in my neck (only) enlarged when I was having my HSV-1 outbreak, and I had a fever. I know these are all signs of HIV infection. I'm also worried that I may be positive for HIV even though I have never used needle drugs, have only had unprotected sex with one person, ever, and there is a good chance this person may have cheated on me with a very promiscuous person, on more than one occasion.

I also have a sore throat, cough and enlarged lymph nodes now, though I know this is an infection that has been going around at work (half of my coworkers are sick with a cold this week).

What is my likelihood of infection? I am waiting for my results, but even the idea of walking into that room to get the results makes me want to cry. I've never been tested and it took a lot for me to go and get the test done. My heart is already pounding very fast, as I think about the fact that my boyfriend's infidelity may have caused me to contract HIV :(
34 Responses
Avatar universal
the likelyhood is very very low.
Avatar universal
u used condom, beside u did not sleep with a hooker or massage parlor girl. or guy. u are fine, most general population rarely have such std.

HSV 1 on gential, rare and no big deal, who care...I promise it will not come back, now HSV 2 , I that sucks. Dont worry about HSV 1. 99% of the population has it.

Get check for Syphills, CMV, HSV 6,8, Genital Wart, Immune System, CBC.

And relax, u dont have HIV. I bet my life
Avatar universal
I just keep replaying the day I will walk into the doctor's office for my test results and he/she will say "YOU TESTED POSITIVE". My boyfriend reassured me I had nothing the first time I got tested (for genital herpes) and I was freaking out. Then once I had calmed down and went in for my results, the result of the swab was positive for HSV-1 (even though when the doctor looked at it she said it "didn't look at all like herpes, just a rash). Lucky me, I guess, I must have caught a weak strain, or whatever... right? But then... can I be reallly that sure I don't have HIV - as sure as I was made to blieve that I didn't have herpes?

1) HSV-1 typically affects the mouth area, not the genital area, like HSV-2 does. So my immune system must have been weak to have contracted it in an area of the body outside of its site of preference  in the first place?

2) And what about the promiscuous girl - should I be worried since I know for a fact she has had unprotected sex with all of the guys she's slept with (I know of 5 she's slept with and I've never even met her) ?

I don't really believe that God necessarily exists, yet the past few days I have been bargaining with God over my test results, promising to become a born-again virgin or at least use condoms every time. and I keep caluclating my risks, symptoms, and the chances that someone as relatively careful as me, could have HIV. --> I've been reading about HIV since I was about 10, and Majored in health, so maybe i'm paranoid because I know more than I should about every disease there is... I dunno. Am I?

How ironic would it be if the next international HIV rights activist and lawyer, ends up becoming HIV infected herself?

also as a side note, someone shoot me. no one will listen to what I have to say if I end up being HIV positive.
Avatar universal
I think you're making a big deal over nothing to be honest. Most my friends have slept with over 20 girls each, one or two are well over a 100 girls. Theyve had every std under the sun but never HIV or Hep...   HIV isnt exactly rife in the white upper middle class.
Avatar universal
I'm not white :) hehe. I look pretty white, but somehow I'm middle eastern. go figure. anyway, i get what you're saying. However, when I told my mother about my concerns last night, her reaction was:

1) "don't worry, you don't have HIV - I can tell by just looking at you"
2) "i know people who have HIV"... how is it that she knows people (plural) who have HIV - we're middle class... and "if you have HIV, we'll just get you some meds"

her response was just too quick and sure, and it seemed to make light of a positive HIV diagnosis... kinda like "it wont be that bad anyway, get over it"
Avatar universal
If you're in western Europe you can worry even less....
Have an Answer?
Top HIV Answerers
366749 tn?1544698865
Karachi, Pakistan
370181 tn?1428180348
Arlington, WA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
These tips can help HIV-positive women live a long, healthy life.
Despite the drop in new infections, black women are still at a high risk for HIV, the virus that causes Aids.
What are your HIV treatment options, and how do you choose the right one? Our panel of experts weighs in.
Learn the truth behind 14 common misconceptions about HIV.
Can HIV be transmitted through this sexual activity? Dr. Jose Gonzalez-Garcia answers this commonly-asked question.
A breakthrough study discovers how to reduce risk of HIV transmission by 95 percent.