Aa
condoms
Does anyone know of someone on this board whobcontracted HIV despite using condoms?
Great sage advice Monkeyflower. I didn't even know these types of events occurred. I think the issue surrounding guilt in this disease is responsible for half the worries of the Worried Wells. Perhaps when one is true to oneself, the issue of guilt will tend to go away and not so many people will worry about non-existent exposures.
I just read your other post, and now I understand where you're coming from. No worries. I understand your guilt is eating away at you, but that's all it is. You didn't contract HIV from that exposure.
"I just don't understand why one can't have a healthy sexuality whilst protecting themselves. Always the guilt element." I totally agree. Our society is so conflicted about sex. We're drenched in sex when it comes to ads, tv, whatever, but when it comes to actually having or learning about sex, we're worse than uptight Puritans. It's depressing, really.
But you can come to a point where you can have a healthy sexuality without guilt... the thing is, it takes a special relationship, and a special partner, and a willingness to step outside the box. Assuming you would like to incorporate others, you might do some reading on polyamory. That would probably be far less threatening to your gf than swinging (or maybe not--poly relationships tend to be emotional, swinger relationships tend to be purely physical).
And you can certainly have an incredibly healthy and rich monogamous sex life, too. Read Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch. It's all about how differentiating yourself from your partner (becoming your own person, basically), and getting okay with yourself generates more heat and more intensity than you might imagine.
I personally think the key is to immerse yourself in sex-positive culture. Look for sex-positive events in your area--festivals, educational workshops, whatever--and go to them. You'll meet other, like-minded people, you'll learn lots of new things, and you'll get to see a whole different world, with a whole different perspective on sex and life in general. It's a great world, and if you're anything like me, you'll feel as if you're *who you really are* for the very first time. Very enlightening. I wish you luck.
"I just don't understand why one can't have a healthy sexuality whilst protecting themselves. Always the guilt element." I totally agree. Our society is so conflicted about sex. We're drenched in sex when it comes to ads, tv, whatever, but when it comes to actually having or learning about sex, we're worse than uptight Puritans. It's depressing, really.
But you can come to a point where you can have a healthy sexuality without guilt... the thing is, it takes a special relationship, and a special partner, and a willingness to step outside the box. Assuming you would like to incorporate others, you might do some reading on polyamory. That would probably be far less threatening to your gf than swinging (or maybe not--poly relationships tend to be emotional, swinger relationships tend to be purely physical).
And you can certainly have an incredibly healthy and rich monogamous sex life, too. Read Passionate Marriage, by David Schnarch. It's all about how differentiating yourself from your partner (becoming your own person, basically), and getting okay with yourself generates more heat and more intensity than you might imagine.
I personally think the key is to immerse yourself in sex-positive culture. Look for sex-positive events in your area--festivals, educational workshops, whatever--and go to them. You'll meet other, like-minded people, you'll learn lots of new things, and you'll get to see a whole different world, with a whole different perspective on sex and life in general. It's a great world, and if you're anything like me, you'll feel as if you're *who you really are* for the very first time. Very enlightening. I wish you luck.
What are you getting at? The fact remains that the HIV virus cannot penetrate a latex or polyurethane condom. That says it all.
Nooooo... that's my point. They're NOT understated. It really is difficult to contract HIV, and impossible through a properly used condom. Any HIV transmitted through a condom is due to condom breakage, improper use (like putting it on just at the end, or taking it off at the end, whatever), etc.
Thanks Monkeyflower. My point being if HIV is difficult to contract as it is , are the stats in people getting it with condoms understated?
No, so many people DON'T get the virus. Like most people on this board, you have a way overinflated idea of the prevalence and seriousness of STDs in general, and HIV in particular.
So let's compare HIV with diabetes, for instance...
About 40,000 people are diagnosed with HIV each year.
Over 1.5 million people are diagnosed with diabetes each year.
About 1 million people in the US are currently living with HIV.
About 20 million people in the US are currently living with diabetes.
Total population of the US: 301,655,404
So let's compare HIV with diabetes, for instance...
About 40,000 people are diagnosed with HIV each year.
Over 1.5 million people are diagnosed with diabetes each year.
About 1 million people in the US are currently living with HIV.
About 20 million people in the US are currently living with diabetes.
Total population of the US: 301,655,404
Monekyflower, I know it seems I am belabouring the point but is this backed up by solid scientific evidence covering thousands of discordant couples or is it a result of study involving only a few couples? ie, how sound is the science behind this?
Thanks for your knowledge by the way.
Thanks for your knowledge by the way.
Just a point of random information. Approximately 70% of sexually active adults outside of monogamous relationships do not use condoms while having sex. In the third world where the problem of HIV is high and growing the number of individuals using condoms is much less, almost in the single digits.
So looking at this data, it is not surprising that as humans engage in normal human behavior occassionally and rarely( in low risk situations) the HIV virus will transmit.
So looking at this data, it is not surprising that as humans engage in normal human behavior occassionally and rarely( in low risk situations) the HIV virus will transmit.
It is just that so many people contract the virus that one can only think that even though people use condoms, they are still sometimes getting the virus. I know current science says that HIV does not penetrate latex but I just cannot believe it with so many affected. I mean, are there many studies to prove this with serodiscordant couples? Are the studies controlled etc.?
Look. NO ONE EVER GOT HIV THROUGH A CONDOM. It just doesn't happen. Why would you think it did?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
