couples risk

[worriedme198]

Dear Dr.(s)  I searched the archives but could not find a incident quite like this...

I am female and had UNprotected vaginal sex with bf about 5 times since oct....2x in january...I have known him basically all my life ...he is not an iv..user..nor homosexual or bi..and claims that he always used condoms before me and didnt with me cause he knew i get tested...anyway...im kinda anxious about this and i got a test 4 to 5 weeks after one incident and 2 weeks after the last (i forgot about that one)...obviously negative...what prompted me to worry was a cold i got with...sore throat, cough, runny/stuffy nose for about 3 days...no noticeable swollen glands, fever or rash.but by what im describing do u think it's likely for me to continue to test negative after these incidents? We are both white...mid 30's live in the US.  

thnxs

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

Relax. Like a lot of people today, you seem to have an inflated view of HIV risks; it can be hard to sort out the truth among the scare stories, many of which come from the religious and political right.  The bottom line is that in the US and most industrialized countries, among people with lifestyles like yours and your boyfriend's, the proportion of infected people is very low.  Assuming your understanding of your boyfriend's lifestyle is accurate, and that yours is not much different, it is almost impossible that you have HIV.

Also, your symptoms don't even hint at HIV.  It can cause sore throat, but not stuffy nose or cough.  Worrying about HIV with symptoms like yours is sort of like someone who has just been hit over the head with a two by four being afraid that his headache might be due to a brain tumor.  You caught a cold.

You didn't need HIV testing, but the negative results prove you weren't infected.  All is well.  If you get pregnant someday, you'll be automatically tested for HIV.  Until then, I wouldn't worry about it, assuming of course that you don't hook up with someone at high risk.

Best wishes--   HHH, MD  

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The additional information doesn't change my opinion (no measurable risk of HIV, regardless of his condom history) or advice (you don't really need testing, but it's fine with me if you want to do it for additional reassurance).

[worriedme198]

I guess my concern with him is that i can't be sure he used condoms consistently with every person every time...I am pretty confident that he has been with very few women (probably around 5 or so) and those relationships were casual ie: him only having been with them a few times...Im his first gf...Im still anxious waiting out the test period...cause of course i now think i have swollen glands but obviously dont know for sure and sharp shooting pains througout armpits, knees, groin..etc..Anyway my FINAL question is would you still consider me and him low risk and no practical reason for testing even he didnt use condoms each and every time...I know i must test for my sanity...but from the clinical stance do you still feel the same? He says i have no reason to worry, but he hasnt been tested in the past few years.

Again I wont ask anymore..what ifs or anything...just wanted to get a clear picture so that i can try to get a clear head..

thanks again much appreciated

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

The standard HIV antibody tests, including Home Access, almost always are positive within 6-8 weeks.  So late March would be about right.  But in the meantime, truly don't worry about it.  In the 25 years since HIV testing became available, working in an STD clinic with 15,000 patient visits per year, I have never once seen a positive result in someone in your situation.  You aren't going to be the first.  From a risk perspective, you really don't need testing at all -- obviously you need it for psychological reassurance, but not from any objective analysis.

[worriedme198]

thank u...

our last encounter was on 1/28/07...what would be the soonest i can test with a home access to get some peace of mind.