freaked out

[Lisa5354]

Hello,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now when I found out that he had not been tested for HIV. We had unprotected sex 20 or so times without a condom before I found out. His ex girlfriend gave him chlamydia and had never been tested for HIV. My doctor said I do not have any real reason to think that he has HIV, however I am freaking out. About three weeks or so after our last unprotected encounter, I came down with a very bad cold. I have a very sore throat, swollen glands in the throat, congestion, and a runny nose. I may have a mild fever but I am mainly just tired. My doctor said that it has been going around but I have read online that many early HIV infections remain underdiagnosed due to mis-diagnoses' of viral infections like hte common cold. I would like to know what your opinion is. He has since been tested and I shoudl know the results soon, but I am freaking out and this cold is not helping. Thanks

[regularjoey]

A good answer by Dr.H., as usual.
Here's the link:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/show/428591

[concernedabit77]

I posted pretty much the same ? in the dr forum this morning...go read Dr.HHH's response to me....U will feel much better.

[hughgrant]

Indeed, numbers are up amongst the heterosexual community. However, in the UK most hetero infections are acquired abroad and / or amongst (still) higher risk groups of bi, drug users and partners of drug users.

As the doctors are always stating,you can never tell who has HIV, but population demographics are on the whole more important than frequencies of exposure.

BUT, note the 'on the whole' comment. There are many others outside of these risk groups.

[regularjoey]

The rates are up , that is true, but the overall numbers are still very low.  Sure, you see some women in the HIV clinic.  Most of them are either partners of drug users or drug users themselves.

[regularjoey]

No, WorriedJen is correct.  HIV is very rare in non-drug-using heterosexual people in Western countries.  The advice she gave is completely appropriate.  Besides, this is not a doctor's forum, anyone can express their opinion.

[WORRIEDJEN1982]

People come on here for reassurance. I am sorry for stepping in your shoes and giving advice out. You might know alot but I am offering a friendly way to say not to worry. The doctor who i spoke to gave the same advice so is that lack of knowledge??
You obviously have a bad attitude to people offering a little comfort to those who are worrying. As i pointed out in my comment i did mention to get tested!!

[Teak]

The ONLY way to know your status is by testing and ignore WORRIEDJEN1982 comment for lack of knowledge.

[WORRIEDJEN1982]

Hi Lisa, I have just received my negative result. I am so happy. If your boyfriend is not Gay, Bisexual, Drug user or from Africa, You can say that he has not got aids. I have read so much about this. In hetrosexual people only a small percentage have HIV out of the high risk groups. I wouldnt worry. Get tested but expect a negative. I had lots of symtoms too and I belive that the mind can bring on lots of them. You have a cold, take care.

[troggs]

Well then i'd say have him test to ease your fears some until you test at three months and get your own result.

[Lisa5354]

hes past the six month mark...ive known him for years as well..htey never had fully unprotected sex..becuase she wasnt on bc they would start to have sex and then put a condom on..ive heard that this decreases the chances but obviously doenst mitigate them...im just so terrified..and i feel so awful..no fever no rashes just a normal common cold..but it just seems so coincidental...

[troggs]

All you can do is test at this point-at three months you will be conclusive. Don't let yourself be dogged by what you think are symptom for now, i've done this and it's not a good path to take yourself down...your chances seem low. You can ask your boyfriend to test once again if he's at or close to the three months mark...