Aa
gay male 21 worried
Hi, i am a homosexual man, 21 years of age living in the UK. I recently broke up with my long term boyfriend who i have always had safe sex with - always wearing a condom for anal sex etc. I was also tested for everything from chlamydia - HIV before i started sleeping with him and everything came back negative. I didn't take the break up well, and a few days later headed out with one of my friends, ended up getting very drunk and me and my friend took a guy we didn't really know back and had a threesome. We all gave & received oral sex without a condom. The man who i did not know then leant above me and tried to put my penis in his anus without a condom. I refused as i am very paranoid about HIV and always have been ever since i came out as gay when i was 15. I always make sure i have safe anal sex as its just not worth the risk. Anyway, i did not insert it, instead i pushed him off. I know i did not penetrate him, but the tip of my penis was touching the rim of his anus for about 5 - 10 seconds. Does this carry any risk of HIV? There was no blood or anything involved, and no cuts or anything on my penis. Im just worried as it touched his anus it might have carried a risk, even though i did not penetrate actually inside him. Do i have a reason to worry? I am going to get myself tested anyway for peace of mind - but i am just starting to think has this guy put me at risk even though i didn't penetrate him?
Thanks in advance
Thanks in advance
Sorry, i wasn't saying not to use condoms, or that as a active partner you should feel more safe - i always do use condoms for anal intercourse and i am the active partner. I was just trying to understand all i can about the process of infection, and how it really happens/comes about.
until you are in a monogamous relationship where both of you have tested...ALWAYS use condoms for penetrative vaginal / anal intercourse. sex lasts a few minutes...HIV LASTS A LIFETIME ! ! !
Is this why i heard the passive partner is in more danger (even if only slight) than the active partner in anal sex, as the skin of the anus is more likely to rip than the skin of the penis. Meaning its easier for infected pre-cum/cum from the active partner to enter the bloodstream of the passive infecting them, than the other way round (the blood/or infected anal mucous to enter the bloodstream of the active partner?) Sorry if that sounds really complicated and you don't know what i mean.
Yes you r right , that is one of the reason Gay Sex is considered a more risky activity as compare to a hetero peno-vaginal , since the anus is less flexible and lined by delicate mucus membranes so penetration can cause easy friction and thus the risk, but in your case you are very safe and had no exposure , but be carefull and use condoms next time.
And it needs to enter the bloodstream somehow right? It can't just break through healthy skin into the bloodstream? Even if you were penetrating, there'd have to be some way of it breaking through as its a vulnerable virus?
Sorry for all the questions. I just want to understand all i can. Its a subject i actually find very interesting and important.
Sorry for all the questions. I just want to understand all i can. Its a subject i actually find very interesting and important.
Yes, transmission has to happen INSIDE the body where the virus is preserved and not exposed to the elements. If it is exposed, it becomes inactive and unable to infect.
Yes, do be careful with the alcohol, especially with a history of anxiety. It's common for people with anxiety to want to "self medicate" which can turn into an addiction quite easily.
We have a great anixety community here, stop over if you need some help!
Yes, do be careful with the alcohol, especially with a history of anxiety. It's common for people with anxiety to want to "self medicate" which can turn into an addiction quite easily.
We have a great anixety community here, stop over if you need some help!
Thanks very much for your quick reply. I think you all do a great job here by the way. I have educated myself a lot about HIV because i think its necessary as a gay young man, but i do suffer a bit from depression and anxiety. So really, having a place like this to turn too when you're feeling anxious about stuff is great.
And yeah, i know i have an alcohol problem. But sometimes its the only way i feel i can turn. I will try and address that though. Thanks so much for your answers.
Can i ask, why does penetration make it so much different? Is it as it could cut both my penis/their anus resulting in infection/HIV getting in to my blood? Or is their other factors such as the virus not being exposed to air?
They are just wonderings though - if you do not have time to answer them do not worry. Thanks so much for your time.
And yeah, i know i have an alcohol problem. But sometimes its the only way i feel i can turn. I will try and address that though. Thanks so much for your answers.
Can i ask, why does penetration make it so much different? Is it as it could cut both my penis/their anus resulting in infection/HIV getting in to my blood? Or is their other factors such as the virus not being exposed to air?
They are just wonderings though - if you do not have time to answer them do not worry. Thanks so much for your time.
You did not have any risk...only insertive anal sex would be a risk. Just continue to use condoms for anal sex and you won't ever have anything to worry about.
Also, be cautious about drinking excessively and then getting into intimate situations. That can lead to unsafe encounters you may regret later.
Also, be cautious about drinking excessively and then getting into intimate situations. That can lead to unsafe encounters you may regret later.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the HIV Prevention Community
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
Can I get HIV from surfaces, like toilet seats?
Can you get HIV from casual contact, like hugging?
Frequency of HIV testing depends on your risk.
Post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) may help prevent HIV infection.
