Scared After Encounter

[ScaredInNY14]

Hi Al,

I’m a late 30’s happily married, heterosexual male.  Exactly two weeks ago, I had my first encounter with a guy I met online.  He told me he was openly gay and in a relationship.  When I asked if he was “clean” he stated that he was, or his boyfriend would have killed him by now (I didn’t ask about last test, specific diseases, etc).  

My risk factors are:

- Receptive unprotected deep-throating with ejaculation (as I recall, the semen was never in my mouth, it was on the back of my tongue/down my throat).  Can that be considered a high risk exposure for HIV infection?
- Insertive unprotected oral with ejaculation.  
- I fingered and rimmed his anus.  The issue there was I had a two day old burn (probably second degree) towards the base of my index finger.  I had popped the blister the afternoon before, but part of the dead blister/dead skin that had formed the blister remained over some of the exposed skin.  The skin that was exposed was pinkish-orange and I noticed it would occasionally ooze a clear liquid.  Would a burn at this point and in this state still be considered an open wound?  If it came in contact with rectal secretions, would this be high risk exposure?  
- Receptive rimming and anal fingering.  What is the risk if his finger was bleeding and I was bleeding (I have a few hemorrhoids)?  
- The head of my penis was pressed against his anus two different times for no more than two to three seconds each.  I don’t believe any portion went in, but if the very tip happened to enter, would that be considered a high risk exposure?  Also, I need to be worried about any potential blood, etc. that may have been outside of his anus?  

I freaked out the next day and asked him if I should go to a doctor, but he didn’t respond.  All he said was that it turns out that he came down with a bad cold, so I would most likely get that and then he went silent.  Now I’m freaking out that it wasn’t a bad cold at all and that he was actually in the process of seroconversion.  is this an unfounded fear?  Do all these risks taken together increase my chances of infection if indeed he was positive?  I’m absolutely terrified that I may have infected myself!  

[biology2017]

If there was no anal sex, there is no risk for hiv.
But the rest of your activities poses a risk of other stds, eg. Gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis...

[ScaredInNY14]

Hi biology2017,

Thanks for your quick response!  

Does that include if the burn made contact with anal secretions inside his rectum?  I’m just worried the wound was still open/available to be infected.  

Thanks!  

[ScaredInNY14]

I should also note that the burn was about one cm long and a half cm wide.  

[AnxiousNoMore]

There is no purpose in repeating  your question because the advice can't change.
This answers all your questions and if you think of any others, then you can get the answer if you just reread about the 3.
You had no risk for HIV so a test would be a waste of time.
HIV is instantly inactivated in air and also in saliva which means it is effectively dead so it can't infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. It doesn't matter if you and they were actively bleeding or had cuts at the time either because the HIV is effectively dead.  
Only 3 adult risks are the following:
1. unprotected penetrating vaginal with a penis
2. unprotected penetrating anal sex with a penis
3. sharing needles that you inject with. Knowing these 3 are all you need to know to protect yourself against HIV. The situation you describe is a long way from any of these 3.
Even with blood, lactation, cuts, rashes, burns, etc the air or the saliva does not allow inactivated virus to infect from touching, external rubbing or oral activities. Doctors have calculated the risk from what you describe to be less than that of being hit by a meteor, therefore no one will get HIV from what you did in the next 40 years of your life either. The above HIV science is 40 years old and very well established, so no detail that you can add to your encounter will change it from zero risk.

[ScaredInNY14]

Hi AnxiousNoMore,

Thanks for your answer.  

My main concern is the possibly open wound/burn on my finger coming in contact with rectal fluids inside the rectum, not in the open air.  Are you telling me that the virus is not transmissible from bodily fluids inside the body to an open wound/cut?  

Thanks!

[Kirstie_MHModerator]

You have been advised about the only 3 ways that HIV is transmitted in adults.  A burn on a finger contacting rectal fluids is not one of those ways.  There isn't anything more for our members to say about your no-risk event.

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