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Avatar universal

please someone Helpppppppppppppppppppp

My son just told me he was gay and had his first encounter about 5 weeks ago. He told that him and this guy gave each other blow jobs and my son lick and suck the other guy anas. My son has very bad guns that tend to bleed very often like almost every other day, very bad in the morning. As soon as my son told me this I rushed him to the ID doctor for testing. His test came back negative the doctor informed us both that we would have to come back in 3 months and retest. Why would the doctor say that? I have been crying my eyes out for the past 2 weeks. I know my son got that gay disease. The ID doctor told me of a test i can have perform on my son called a hiv Pcr test. Please someone help me my son is only 15 years old. I am on the edge and about to fall off soon dont know if i can make it to three months. I see my son everyday and i know he is just dying, hurt to even look at him knowing he have hiv. please respond back doctors, experts, caregiver, etc
12 Responses
1486982 tn?1289465383
You're son is not going to get HIv this way..I am sorry you had to hear details about his new sexual experience. HIV is not a "gay disease". We have come along way from the 1980's sir,please try to educate yourself on HIV and get some counseling on your issues with your gay son. He's not dying.
Avatar universal
hi again I am so sorry for my recent post. It just so much rushing inside of me I fear so much for my son...........

1. Was my son at risk(bleeding gums/ explain)?
2. As a mother what can i do to educated my son of not placing his self at risk?
3. is my son safe from the act he did?


again sorry if i hurting anyone feelings
Avatar universal
1. Was my son at risk(bleeding gums/ explain)? - NEVER AT RISK, Oral sex is not a risk for HIV.

2. As a mother what can i do to educated my son of not placing his self at risk?  - Sounds as if you should be educated before your son, There is not much you have to know other than DO NOT have unprotected anal/Vaginal sex or share IV drug needles. If he stays away from those three things there is no HIV risk.

3. is my son safe from the act he did? Read number 1.

Seek help if your anxiety keeps taking over your mind. You are going a bit over the norm with this one.

Hope this helps
Avatar universal
thank you nickone7....................so his bleeding gums has nothing to do with oral sex? and if not he should remain neg at 12 weeks............I will post again with his results next month and again I am truly sorry
Avatar universal
Yes, even with bleeding gums oral sex is not a risk for HIV.  Testing is not needed

NO RISK = NEG tests = Waste of time and money

You do not need to post his results as we already know they will be NEG.
1486982 tn?1289465383
Its okay, I was not personally offended, but I just want to make sure you are properly informed and not basing you fears on you problems with having a gay son. Maybe you need some counseling to get through the shock. Base things on fact and logic, Nick is right,
Avatar universal
I just could not wait 12 weeks so the doctor advise and conducted a hiv Pcr test result will be in friday. I will keep you guys posted
Avatar universal
PCR tests cannot give a diagnosis HIV and your son didn't have a risk of contracting HIV. Seek professional mental help.
Avatar universal
why would the ID doctor request it? I spoke to her about you guy here at medhelp, she was very please and was familiar with the site. I informed her of you guys opinion and she told me that oral anal sex is a risk, but a very small one, and with my son bleeding gums that could had enhance the risk. Teak I have not slept in weeks. I just don't know how you can have so much confidence with oral sex being no risk. If you mind? what university did you study at?    
1366547 tn?1287367550
The doctor was being overly conservative and probably acting so based on the fact that you were extremely worried about your son. I very seriously doubt your son would be giving oral sex to someone while his gums were bleeding, but regardless, he was not at risk even if he did. Express your concerns with your son and make sure he knows to use condoms for all forms of anal sex and he will remain HIV negative. But as far as this incident, he was not at risk, as you have been told repeatedly.
Avatar universal
She told you wrong it isn't a risk and the PCR-RNA test cannot give a conclusive test result. Print this off for her.

No incident HIV infections among MSM who practice exclusively oral sex.
Int Conf AIDS 2004 Jul 11-16; 15:(abstract no. WePpC2072)??Balls JE, Evans JL, Dilley J, Osmond D, Shiboski S, Shiboski C, Klausner J, McFarland W, Greenspan D, Page-Shafer K?University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, United States

Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update
J Campo1, MA Perea1, J del Romero2, J Cano1, V Hernando2, A Bascones1
Oral Diseases (2006) 12, 219–228

AIDS: Volume 16(17) 22 November 2002 pp 2350-2352
Risk of HIV infection attributable to oral sex among men who have sex with men and in the population of men who have sex with men

Page-Shafer, Kimberlya,b; Shiboski, Caroline Hb; Osmond, Dennis Hc; Dilley, Jamesd; McFarland, Willie; Shiboski, Steve Cc; Klausner, Jeffrey De; Balls, Joycea; Greenspan, Deborahb; Greenspan
Page-Shafer K, Veugelers PJ, Moss AR, Strathdee S, Kaldor JM, van Griensven GJ. Sexual risk behavior and risk factors for HIV-1 seroconversion in homosexual men participating in the Tricontinental Seroconverter Study, 1982-1994 [published erratum appears in Am J Epidemiol 1997 15 Dec; 146(12):1076]. Am J Epidemiol 1997, 146:531-542.

Studies which show the fallacy of relying on anecdotal evidence as opposed to carefully controlled study insofar as HIV transmission risk is concerned:

Jenicek M. "Clinical Case Reporting" in Evidence-Based Medicine. Oxford: Butterworth–Heinemann; 1999:117

Saltzman SP, Stoddard AM, McCusker J, Moon MW, Mayer KH. Reliability of self-reported sexual behavior risk factors for HIV infection in homosexual men. Public Health Rep. 1987 102(6):692–697.Nov–Dec;

Catania JA, Gibson DR, Chitwood DD, Coates TJ. Methodological problems in AIDS behavioral research: influences on measurement error and participation bias in studies of sexual behavior. Psychol Bull. 1990 Nov;108(3):339–362.



There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANSFIELD

"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANSFIELD

"I am sure you can find lots of people who belive that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK
"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK

in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA

"The observation on thousand and thousand of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort)." DR HOOK
Avatar universal
This thread was a sham.
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