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protected sex with HIV+ male

Hi Doc,

Here's the deal. Last Thursday I had protected anal sex where I was the bottom and the top (me being the bottom didn't last too long) with a male I met on the internet. We spoke for about a week before we actually met and had sex. We both blew each other (unprotected) and both  rimmed each other (unprotected). We kissed and fingered each other. I didn't taste any of his precum. We both ended up ejaculating by masturbating and that was that. Everything was great, I really like the guy and just last night he told me he is HIV+. I'm pretty upset because  before we did the deed I definitely asked if he was "clean" and he told me yes. He says he takes one pill each night before bed and that his viral load is undectable. He says he's been living with HIV for 6 years and is educated on the virus and knows how to protect both of us. I'm worried sick. I recently tested negative so now I want to know if I should get tested in about 6 weeks. Also, I really like the guy and am really confused about this whole situation. I would love to continue a relationshpi with him, but I don't know if this is possible. I have ALWAYS been super paranoid about contracting HIV and don't know if I can spend a life worrying about it especially being involved with someone who is confirmed as being positive.  He's such a sweet guy and gave me his word that he would not do anything to harm either of us, but I'm so confused and worried.

Should I get tested? What was my risk? Any insight will be helpful.
5 Responses
Avatar universal
High risk. Get tested at 6 weeks for a good indicator and test again at 3 months. If you clean by then its conclusive. And regarding your partner, if he gave his world to not harm you, well he failed miserably. He lied and put you at highest risk possible.
1519393 tn?1306805708
You did not have a risk for HIV from protected anal sex. Condoms are 100% effective in preventing HIV if used correctly.
You did not have a risk for HIV from oral sex without a condom this is safe sex as well as rimming, kissing & fingering.
He did not put you at risk for HIV
Avatar universal
As Hope told you, none of your activities put you at risk for contracting HIV. Julian001 gave you incorrect information. You do not need testing and should just forget about this and move on with your life.
Avatar universal
when we kissed i did taste a little something - not sure if it was a cancor sore or something on his tongue. does that change my risk? sometimes after i brush my teeth i spit out a little blood...
1519393 tn?1306805708
No that doesn't change your no risk, kissing is not a risk with the but what ifs...

I like this quote from the Doc, I'd thought I'd share since you made be in this relationship

by H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.,
You prevent HIV by avoiding sharing of injection equipment with peole and by avoiding unprotected vaginal or anal sex.  That's it.  You need do nothing else to assure a lifetime of zero risk of catching HIV.  It's true; believe it.
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