Aa
really worried about hiv
i had sex with a csw about 6 months ago(that was my 1st time)......i used her condom which is provided by the govt to them.
from then the fear of hiv is killing me.....i am not able to celebrate new year and also not able to study..
also i would like to tell u that....i was anxious about hiv before that csw incident also.......from a incident when i was 12,,,,,i did not mean that i was worried about hiv when i was 12,,,,i had this anxietyfrom over 1 year now ... (now i am 18......)i had this anxiety nearly from the beginning of the 18th year ,but after the csw incident it just took over me comletely.
it started like this
me and my two frnds went to a brotherl on 21 june 2011
we all had sex with seperate csw
i was the last one to go,,,,,,,,,then from next day i started thinking about things like.....maybe they both had sex with csw with their own condom...although before going i asked him that if they had condom they sad no and said that we can buy it from a chemist shop in our way to brotherl........but we did not....
but the next day i started thnking that maybe they both had their own condoms....and did not want to tell me.....
then i called ricky(one of the frnd who went with me to brotherel) and conversation was lik this
me: hey man ..whats doing?????
frnd: nothing so whats up?
me: i was just thinking ,,,tthat is there any risk of hiv from last day incident.......
frnd: naaaa.. no there is not......
me: but how dude we used theres condom and i think that was low quality condom....ryt
frnd: dont worryyy they are more protective than us they dont want to get anything from us hence more concenrned they are...
me: i think so......well i had a dream last nyt that u and jim( my other frnd) had a condom and forget to give me .one... i know thats funny....hahahha
frnd: oh yeah ohh yeah now i remebered yeah u r ryt.......we had one.......and yes we forget to give u one......
me: if this is a joke pld then dont joke..i really serious and this is driving me crazy.....
frnd.: no man we had one u can also ask jim toooooo
so this was the conversation
so wat do u thimk ....was he jokin and just taking advantage of situation..........
after then about 4 hrs later i also called jim and he sad that he did not have condom of his and nor did ricky(the one on phone) and he also sad that ricky also called him and said that i has scared josh(me)......
pls help.....................this was wat happpend within1 week of csw incident...then it starts getting worst
after about 2 months after that csw incident......i started having thoughts that ricky (my frnd) may had make hole in my condom...a very tiny one in pouch of the condom i imazined a whole new thing for it.......i thought may be he gave the condom to the csw who went with me which has a hole in it..........i reallly get more anxious that time..................
actually the basis on which i thought it was that...................
nearly before 1 month going to the csw i and ricky was going to rickys house just to hang out and i was also anxious that time about hiv....becoz of the incident when i was 12.....now i know that it was not risky as i have mentioned above........so i asked ricky wheather he has ****** a girl or not he said yes i have ****** csw 6 time.....at a brotherel (the same in which we went later after 1 month) i told him to not to go there again becoz he could get hiv .........but he said it is totally safe as he used condom each time.......as i did not knew about condoms much at that time so i tell him that if a condome has a very tiny hole then how will u know.....it has it and u cannot see it and will catch hiv............
he said its all ********.........and told me that he also get blood tested in his boarding skul andit was all normal......then i start persusding him that may be that blood test may not have hiv test including in it.........then we start talking about other thinghs ......in our way to rickys home we stopped in mcdonald to get burger while we gave order and wait for their arrival he looked in very tension and looks like he was thikng about somethinh..........
then we went to his house and played ps3 and eat burgers he looked very normal................
at that time i didnt payed attention to all these thinghs ....but when i remembered this after 2 months of that csw incident i really got worried becoz he was the one who took us there ,i also persuaded him to take us ..........so maybe he was also anxious about hiv....afetr i told him about ....before a month going there as i mentioned above.....so he may have buyed a condom from a chemist store before going to brotherel..as our trip to there was preplanned 2 days before.................and may have give that condom which has tiny hole in it....to csw..when i was talking to jim(the other frnd who went with me).......... i started to get it out of my my mind....but i got more anxious becoze he paid all of the money for csw...and that money is paid before having sex.........and may be he gave that condom in which he made hole.to that csw at that time.....althogh the money is not payed to csw it is paid to the incharge of brotherel...but csw is also present at that time as the incharge gave a paper chit to csw ........
althogh after having sex i noticed that condom has not bursted and looked very normal with all sperm colllected in it..and there was no leak visible........
i am very anxious what do u think after reading this........do i have hiv......??????????? can i have hiv?????????????
can this all happen????????????????? i m really depressed........and think that i have very limited time left in my life.......
..................................................
from then the fear of hiv is killing me.....i am not able to celebrate new year and also not able to study..
also i would like to tell u that....i was anxious about hiv before that csw incident also.......from a incident when i was 12,,,,,i did not mean that i was worried about hiv when i was 12,,,,i had this anxietyfrom over 1 year now ... (now i am 18......)i had this anxiety nearly from the beginning of the 18th year ,but after the csw incident it just took over me comletely.
it started like this
me and my two frnds went to a brotherl on 21 june 2011
we all had sex with seperate csw
i was the last one to go,,,,,,,,,then from next day i started thinking about things like.....maybe they both had sex with csw with their own condom...although before going i asked him that if they had condom they sad no and said that we can buy it from a chemist shop in our way to brotherl........but we did not....
but the next day i started thnking that maybe they both had their own condoms....and did not want to tell me.....
then i called ricky(one of the frnd who went with me to brotherel) and conversation was lik this
me: hey man ..whats doing?????
frnd: nothing so whats up?
me: i was just thinking ,,,tthat is there any risk of hiv from last day incident.......
frnd: naaaa.. no there is not......
me: but how dude we used theres condom and i think that was low quality condom....ryt
frnd: dont worryyy they are more protective than us they dont want to get anything from us hence more concenrned they are...
me: i think so......well i had a dream last nyt that u and jim( my other frnd) had a condom and forget to give me .one... i know thats funny....hahahha
frnd: oh yeah ohh yeah now i remebered yeah u r ryt.......we had one.......and yes we forget to give u one......
me: if this is a joke pld then dont joke..i really serious and this is driving me crazy.....
frnd.: no man we had one u can also ask jim toooooo
so this was the conversation
so wat do u thimk ....was he jokin and just taking advantage of situation..........
after then about 4 hrs later i also called jim and he sad that he did not have condom of his and nor did ricky(the one on phone) and he also sad that ricky also called him and said that i has scared josh(me)......
pls help.....................this was wat happpend within1 week of csw incident...then it starts getting worst
after about 2 months after that csw incident......i started having thoughts that ricky (my frnd) may had make hole in my condom...a very tiny one in pouch of the condom i imazined a whole new thing for it.......i thought may be he gave the condom to the csw who went with me which has a hole in it..........i reallly get more anxious that time..................
actually the basis on which i thought it was that...................
nearly before 1 month going to the csw i and ricky was going to rickys house just to hang out and i was also anxious that time about hiv....becoz of the incident when i was 12.....now i know that it was not risky as i have mentioned above........so i asked ricky wheather he has ****** a girl or not he said yes i have ****** csw 6 time.....at a brotherel (the same in which we went later after 1 month) i told him to not to go there again becoz he could get hiv .........but he said it is totally safe as he used condom each time.......as i did not knew about condoms much at that time so i tell him that if a condome has a very tiny hole then how will u know.....it has it and u cannot see it and will catch hiv............
he said its all ********.........and told me that he also get blood tested in his boarding skul andit was all normal......then i start persusding him that may be that blood test may not have hiv test including in it.........then we start talking about other thinghs ......in our way to rickys home we stopped in mcdonald to get burger while we gave order and wait for their arrival he looked in very tension and looks like he was thikng about somethinh..........
then we went to his house and played ps3 and eat burgers he looked very normal................
at that time i didnt payed attention to all these thinghs ....but when i remembered this after 2 months of that csw incident i really got worried becoz he was the one who took us there ,i also persuaded him to take us ..........so maybe he was also anxious about hiv....afetr i told him about ....before a month going there as i mentioned above.....so he may have buyed a condom from a chemist store before going to brotherel..as our trip to there was preplanned 2 days before.................and may have give that condom which has tiny hole in it....to csw..when i was talking to jim(the other frnd who went with me).......... i started to get it out of my my mind....but i got more anxious becoze he paid all of the money for csw...and that money is paid before having sex.........and may be he gave that condom in which he made hole.to that csw at that time.....althogh the money is not payed to csw it is paid to the incharge of brotherel...but csw is also present at that time as the incharge gave a paper chit to csw ........
althogh after having sex i noticed that condom has not bursted and looked very normal with all sperm colllected in it..and there was no leak visible........
i am very anxious what do u think after reading this........do i have hiv......??????????? can i have hiv?????????????
can this all happen????????????????? i m really depressed........and think that i have very limited time left in my life.......
..................................................
hiv is transmitted through...
unprotected vaginal / anal intercourse
sharing iv drug works
mother to child
you had NO risk
unprotected vaginal / anal intercourse
sharing iv drug works
mother to child
you had NO risk
may be ur exactly ryt....
are u sure..
should i stop worrying.....
plsss telll??????? i am teeenager.....its very important phase of my like
are u sure..
should i stop worrying.....
plsss telll??????? i am teeenager.....its very important phase of my like
for starters...i stopped reading after "the conversation" started. the rest is irrelevant, i'm sure.
condom protected sex = safe sex...you had NO risk ! ! !
condom protected sex = safe sex...you had NO risk ! ! !
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