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stupid and desperate in sa


Dear all

I know my question has been answered before and I'm sure it will annoy many to read, but for reasons unbeknown to me i am just desperate for an answer directly to me. I am currently feeling so much remorse, guilt and desperation that I am starting to feel sick. I visited a prostitute last week, she gave me unprotected oral sex and I fingered her. It all lasted 5mins. We also French kissed. We then protected vaginal sex. She removed the condom herself once we were done using a sanitary wipe. I believe the condom was intact. It didn't slip or anything. What are my risks for HIV and stds? Again, I'm sorry to waste people's time, but I'm so desperate.

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Avatar universal
Hey guys

Just thought I would let you all know i tested today and received a negative result! I needed to do it for peace of mind.

Thank you all for your comments. Now I will work on making sure I don't repeat this behaviour.

Tx again.
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Avatar universal
Thank you nursegirl.
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480448 tn?1426948538
You didn't have a risk.
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1508374 tn?1380808510
You are welcome :)
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Avatar universal
Thanks so much teak and bestrong. I guess facts are facts and I should consider myself lucky as I had no risk. I must more understand why I behaved like this and ensure it doesn't happen again. Thanks again guys.
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Avatar universal
No incident HIV infections among MSM who practice exclusively oral sex.
Int Conf AIDS 2004 Jul 11-16; 15:(abstract no. WePpC2072)??Balls JE, Evans JL, Dilley J, Osmond D, Shiboski S, Shiboski C, Klausner J, McFarland W, Greenspan D, Page-Shafer K?University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, United States

Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update
J Campo1, MA Perea1, J del Romero2, J Cano1, V Hernando2, A Bascones1
Oral Diseases (2006) 12, 219–228

AIDS: Volume 16(17) 22 November 2002 pp 2350-2352
Risk of HIV infection attributable to oral sex among men who have sex with men and in the population of men who have sex with men

Page-Shafer, Kimberlya,b; Shiboski, Caroline Hb; Osmond, Dennis Hc; Dilley, Jamesd; McFarland, Willie; Shiboski, Steve Cc; Klausner, Jeffrey De; Balls, Joycea; Greenspan, Deborahb; Greenspan
Page-Shafer K, Veugelers PJ, Moss AR, Strathdee S, Kaldor JM, van Griensven GJ. Sexual risk behavior and risk factors for HIV-1 seroconversion in homosexual men participating in the Tricontinental Seroconverter Study, 1982-1994 [published erratum appears in Am J Epidemiol 1997 15 Dec; 146(12):1076]. Am J Epidemiol 1997, 146:531-542.

Studies which show the fallacy of relying on anecdotal evidence as opposed to carefully controlled study insofar as HIV transmission risk is concerned:

Jenicek M. "Clinical Case Reporting" in Evidence-Based Medicine. Oxford: Butterworth–Heinemann; 1999:117
Saltzman SP, Stoddard AM, McCusker J, Moon MW, Mayer KH. Reliability of self-reported sexual behavior risk factors for HIV infection in homosexual men. Public Health Rep. 1987 102(6):692–697.Nov–Dec;

Catania JA, Gibson DR, Chitwood DD, Coates TJ. Methodological problems in AIDS behavioral research: influences on measurement error and participation bias in studies of sexual behavior. Psychol Bull. 1990 Nov;108(3):339–362.

There is no debate (among experts) about the HIV risks associated with oral sex. The risk is so low that almost nobody who cares for HIV infected patients has ever had a patient believed to have been infected that way. Among experts, it's a semantic issue about using terms like "no risk" and "very low risk". There is no difference between my or Dr. Hook's use of "low risk" and other experts' "no risk".
DR. HANSFIELD

"And oral sex is basically safe sex -- completely safe with respect to HIV and although not zero risk for other STDs, the chance of infection is far lower than for unprotected vaginal or anal sex. Please educate yourself about the real risks. If you stick with oral sex and condom-protected vaginal or anal sex, you have no HIV worries and very little worry about other STDs. " DR HANSFIELD

"I am sure you can find lots of people who believe that HIV is transmitted by oral sex, but you will not find scientific data to support this unrealistic concern..." DR HOOK

"HIV is not spread by touching, masturbation, oral sex or condom protected sex."- DR. HOOK

in the public HIV Prevention forum of MedHelp, TEAK and the other moderators maintain that oral sex in all forms is a zero risk activity. Would you agree with this assessment?
I TOTALLY AGREE / DR GARCIA
"HIV is not spread by masturbation, through oral sex, through kissing or other casual contact." Dr. Hook
"The observation on thousands and thousands of observations is that HIV is not spread by oral sex (of any sort)." DR HOOK
"I would not say your risk ,if he had HIV is "slim to none"- that's too high.  I would say they are effectively zero.  How much of his ejaculate or other genital  secretions you may have swallowed makes no difference.  EWH "
"As far as HIV is concerned, there is no known risk of getting HIV from performing oral sex on an infected partner, even if that person's genital secretions get into your eyes or if you swallow." Dr.Hook
HIV is not spread by oral sex, giving or receiving, even if sores, gum disease or blood is present
DR HOOK
The fact is that there are no cases in which HIV has been proven to be transmitted by oral sex, including fellatio..  EWH
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1508374 tn?1380808510
Once more I must advice you to control your anxiety.
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Avatar universal
Thanks be strong. It's just that I read on the cdc site and other forums that oral sex is indeed a risk for HIV and studies have shown this. It leaves me confused and as you know, anxious. Thanks for the answers and support.
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1508374 tn?1380808510
Please try to control your anxiety
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Avatar universal
Yes, I have made these two mistakes in my life, back in 2010 and now. Sadly I am still freaking out. If I've read everything correctly from other posts I need not worry as I've had no risk. I will get tested anyway but my anxiety coupled with my remorse is truly unbearable.
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Avatar universal
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1508374 tn?1380808510
I didnt say "other than oral and fingering". I said "Oral sex is not considered as a risk for hiv transmission. Much more french kissing."

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Avatar universal
Thank you so much. I'm just consumed in anxiety. I know that other than the oral and fingering I was safe. What you say now has made me believe i will be fine.
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1508374 tn?1380808510
Hello,

as you were advised, try to control your anxiety because there is no risk for the incidents you describe. Oral sex is not considered as a risk for hiv transmission. Much more french kissing.

Keep calm
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