I am sorry to hear you are all going through this. I am posting only because I have been through a post partum cardiomyopathy and despite differences in dx, heart failure is the same issue bottom line. I was 40 and turned 41 after dx. I am now 43 and doing great overall (I had other complications too). We have three kids, at that time aged newborn, just 3yo and just 6yo. It was an awful time, but made better by the fact I made a very conscious decision to not drag everyone down, don't get me wrong, I had a few dark days, but I really just took one day at a time and did what I could do, focusing on the positives, not the negatives. I did have to focus on balancing my day and utilizing any offers of help that came our way. We also own our own business which my husband was running whilst keeping everything else incl hospital stays afloat. He did a better than great job, let me tell you.
He has a pretty low EF (mine was higher), I had a HR like his on the slightest exertion and my typical HR was about 130bpm at rest. I would be breathless literally for half the day or more or just talking, or from walking a few steps in the house. I had huge runs of PACS and PVCS and I felt like hell for months. It took my EF about a yr to rise back to normal range.
You need to develop some good observation skills in terms of him and how much he is doing, but do remember, he is an adult who is able to gauge for himself what he needs (or not as the case may be). You can only be responsible for so much, without it taking a huge toll, so start talking with him and most important be open with each other. Get your Docs involved as much as possible and use any offers of support you can, esp in home help for you. Make sure he gets a disabled placard for the car, so he can park easily if he insists on driving, but he is better off not driving for now. I found driving very tiring for at least 4 mths or more. I chose not to drive initially, more for other peoples safety than my own. You can rent wheelchairs and walkers, which he may find helpful if his symptoms are overwhelming.
He also needs to be smart about his body. He needs to take notice of symptoms and monitor them closely, he also needs to understand that having symptoms means something, its not nothing...... The cardio office should have him on a daily weight program and other dietary restrictions. He is clearly a person who cares about staying fit and healthy, this is something he needs to manage right now and he needs to be realistic in terms of time for recovery. He simply cannot do too much and will need to really listen to his body. This is a serious illness and not to be taken lightly by anyone, but at the same time, there is a whole lot of hope on the horizon for you and your family. Please post back here if you need some more input, I will check in for a few days.. I am not quite 3 yrs post dx, so it is very, very fresh in my mind and I totally understand how overwhelmed you are feeling with all that is going on, you have good reason to feel that way. If you can, build your support systems outside of your marriage, where you can talk through your fears for the future and share your concerns in some way.
Finally, know you can do this, one day at a time, you are doing the best you can and that is all you can do for now.
Fiona
With low heart function, he will have a really hard time to keep up with the usual oxygen demand associated with exercise and exertion. This will cause him to have less stamina. Exercise in heart failure is good, it actually increases survival. Aerobic exercise is the best in heart failure and I think that martial arts qualifies under that catergory. I would advise him to start slowly and incease his routine as his body allows him too. I agree that he should not overexert himself because that may cause low oxygen flow to his heart and other organs. Low oxygen flow to the heart has been associated with sudden cardiac death. This risk is not insignificant.